In Our lives. We sometimes have a diapproval or two with people surrounding us. The problem is, not everybody had a chance or even a courage to criticise the persons. It would to rude and offending in some culture.
If they kept doing things that annoyed you, the best thing you can do was talking about them at their backs.Talking right to them wont do any good because they would defend themselves by saying all the crap things.
How do you put things nicely to people?
2007-06-14 18:13:22 · 6 answers · asked by Beam 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
When you find yourself in this situation, ask yourself if it's important enough to disagree with the person. Will it matter tomorrow, next week or fifty years from now. Do you feel the need to correct people just to show that you are right and they are wrong, or will their behavior be damaging or costly to someone else?
I say this because I used to think I was obligated to set people straight. Now, much older, I just have a little private laugh at their expense. Some people sound so sure of themselves--it's fun to know they're ridiculous, even if I'm the only one that knows it.
2007-06-14 18:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it necessary to know the people well, as you seem to do. Then I can pick what I want to say according to what they are comfortable with. Outright criticisms may not be the best choice, at least, until you have asked them politely a few times.
Rather than try to change their behavior all together, ask them to respect the rules of your home, mentioning the specific behavior you don't like. After a few tries, you'll know if they are going to comply. If they are, thank them.
Some people will not comply. To address them, just invite the usual folks to a gathering -but not them. If they care, they will change, if not, move on. Even if they are family, they don't have a guaranteed place at the table, so to speak, if they won't use their table manners. A few times of being excluded may be all they need. But if not, it may take years or never happen. It's tough, but necessary.
2007-06-15 01:33:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel the same way you do, but you have to be somewhat assertive. If someone is in your presence that you don't know very well or who's just a casual acquaintance, I'd ignore it and just walk away. If it's a friend or family member, express to them that you didn't like what they said, but I'd do it in private, so not to as embarrass them (they'll probably be less defensive than when in public). Chances are they don't know that they're offending you in some way. And if they do and continue on with the crappy behavior, well, it's time for you to just not have them around anymore or completely ignore them.
If they're your friend or family member and you let them know calmly that what they said or are saying offends you or you just simply don't like it and they continue, well, obviously you don't mean that much to that person to begin with and they need to be ditched.
It'll take some "cojones" and people might get defensive, but in the long run, you'll feel much better about standing up for what you believe in.
Good luck to you...
2007-06-15 01:28:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you don't like somebody than you gently ignore him without saying anything. Undoubtedly he will know the reasons later and may feel guilty about his behavior as well.
2007-06-15 05:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by nimesh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away or simply excuse yourself. Certainly, it becomes a problem when he or she is your only ride home. Gems of wisdom: always have an alternate plan to return home.
2007-06-15 08:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by J C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply state "I don't need to hear that ."and try to avoid conflict.it is hard to avoid though, with some people, but they just want to have the last word or upper hand.
2007-06-19 16:53:38 · answer #6 · answered by tammy m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋