Is he too young?

Question

Alright, my son, whose 13, was talking to me about something very important. He really liked this girl at his school, and ask me if he can go out with him. First of all, I thought this was dumb and stupid and that he was way to small. He told me that all of his friends had girls and he was left out. I don't want my boy to be a loner, but i don't know if she should or if he shouldn't. Please help me decide

Answer 1

If you feel he is responsible enough to handle a 'girlfriend' at that age, then let him. If you think he is a bit too immature, tell him you reasonings and let him know that you would prefer he wait. My mom let me start "dating" when I was that age, because I was mature for my age. So ultimately, its up to you, and how you see his behavior. Sorry Im not of much help, and good luck!

=]

Answer 2

"At 13 I was mature for my age..." What baloney! No matter what the other responders try to shovel at you about maturity at that age, remember that age group is responsible for making "Sanjaya" a household name. How good can their judgement be, for pete's sake!

Look, in the brief description provided you mentioned your son didn't want to feel left out, so there's an obvious peer-pressure on your son from his friends. You also mentioned your gut reaction was that he was too young and the idea was ridiculous (I agree).

If you allow your son a girlfriend you will be showing him that his desire to fit in with his friends is more important than your concerns for his personal well-being. YOU should be the most important influence in his decisions, not his friends. If you allow him a girlfriend, you've reversed this position and it's much more likely he'll follow his friends in the future, not you. The next step after girlfriend is some sort of sexual activity. Regardless of how minor it is, don't you want your son to follow YOUR guidance as his parent, and not his friends? Set the tone now - YOU make the decisions, not his friends.

Additionally, if they are truly his friends, won't they still be his friends if he doesn't get a girlfriend? Ok, we all know how kids are and it's not that easy, right? Well, if they ARE mature enough to have a girlfriend at 13 they should ALSO be mature enough to respect your role as a parent and respect your son's position of not having a girlfriend without dumping him as a friend.

Look, boil it down another way. Who cares what these other responders thought about themselves at that age. Go with your gut and who cares what the kids think - you're the dang parent and no peer-pressure should override your decisions.

Having a girlfriend so early is a bad path to start down... remember, if the worst happens you'll be taking care of the baby.

Answer 3

I think it really depends on the maturity of each individual. If he and the girl are fairly mature, then letting them go out some probably wouldn't be harmful. But if they are still acting like 8 years olds, in other words, are too immature, then you might have a talk with him about such matters, and explain that they can spend some time together, but not in such a serious fashion. Thirteen years old is a normal age for boy and girls to notice each other, but it is still a very young age, especially for a serious relationship. Take things slowly, and watch for signs that things may not be working out. However, I do believe that it is possible to find love at that age- rare, but possible. So don't force them apart, unless they are really a danger to one another- and then, I still wouldn't advise forcing them apart, I would just advise a healthy dose of supervision.

Just remember, they may be young, but they still have feelings, and can feel things like love.

Also, I believe you may have posted this in the wrong section. This is the food and drinks area. So you may get a better response from a different crowd.

Answer 4

The fact that you've captured your sons comfort enough to bring up this question is a crucial element to the question at hand and you need to handle it carefully. 13 is not too young to begin getting to know the opposite sex in a one-on-one way in a "dating" aspect of early teens. "Dating" a girl could just be a way he can be comfortable in a group situation with other friends. If however you should still decide you'd rather him wait, you need to make sure to do it in a manner that will continue his trust in you, rather than send him off to a secretive relationship. Be supportive of his feelings, and he'll continue to be your confidante-of-sorts as he grows older and more serious about relationships!

Answer 5

13 is not a young age.
Normally, this is the time kids got influences from their peers.
Please be reminded that their definition of relationship is different from us adults and much simpler(hopefully). It's what we call puppy love. Everyone is entitled for sweet memories and I suppose you shouldn't stop him from seeing the girl. Rather, you can explain him what you expected from him. Tell him that you expect him not to get distracted by the relationship and such. Good luck.

PS. Every parent will look at their child as a kid no matter how old they are ;)

Answer 6

Dont do something becaue everyone else is. See if he always talks about her..or feeling left out. If it is her...you can consider going to the mall for a couple of hours. But maybe he can find some other friends to hang out with. Have a "guys night". Do more things with him and talk to him more about the subject.

Answer 7

13 is too young for dating.

MAYBE group dating, w/ 4-5 of each sex in a group, at a movie or eating supper somewhere, w/ an agreed-upon parent pick-up time.