I know its caused my insecurity. When I'm at work, I am so outgoing with my coworkers and they all love me. But in college classes I dont speak and I kinda just blend into the background. I want more people to notice me because I dont dae much and I've had only one boyfriend and I'm 20. I have a problem looking people in the eye and I tend to be told I'm pretty but come off as intimidating. Whatever that means.
2007-06-14 14:21:31 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i feel like bc i dont dress like a slut guys dont like me as much
2007-06-14 14:24:21 · update #1
Maybe you're afraid of something at college that you're not afraid of at work. My guess it is you care too much what your college buddies will think of you, and you don't care as much what your coworkers will think of you. Not like you're going around doing bad things at work, you are just not worried what they will think.
Stop caring so much what other people think.
Dress the way you dress, and nevermind what people think.
Don't worry about sounding stupid. Cause who cares. I'll let you in on a secret: it is much more important to you how you sound than it is for other people. They don't give a damn, they are preoccupied with their own wonderful selves. Stop caring to impress them.
As for dating - sitting in classes never helps dating. Try to get into some kind of activity group. You'll have a better opportunity for interacton.
2007-06-14 14:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are in the wrong section. But i will try to help. Shyness stems from insecurity, low self esteem and low confidence. You have been socially conditioned to be shy, maybe because you were picked on, or did not have enough positive reinforcement as a child... unfortunately this has effected you as an adult (you are an adult arent you?) What i suggest is this. First. Realize most people are shy to some degree. Everyone has reservations when dealing with other people to some extent, everybody doubts themselves and has insecurities. You are not alone in the way you feel. Secondly, to deal with shyness you are going to have to be persistent, it is going to take time and practice. Start off with some very small things you could do. smile to a check out clerk and ask how there day is. build up from small to large. Analyze the way you think. Google "distorted thinking" and read up you may be surprised what you find, and eliminate any negative thinking patterns. Third. Be kind to yourself..and respect yourself. No one is going to do that for you. Do not put yourself down. Try not to dwell on things. What has happened has happened and look towards the future for improvement. ignore insults. Remember compliments. If you cant talk to people in real life, find a forum online for people who suffer from shyness. Read up on things you can do. You can escape if you really want to.
2016-03-13 23:11:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably going to hate this answer, but overcoming shyness is one of those things that you have to 'just do it'.
First of all, there's nothing wrong with blending in, it takes a certain kind of person to be in the limelight all the time. But at the same time don't become just part of the scenery. You gotta speak up, voice your opinions when you have the opportunity. To me, it sounds like you have the ability, since you are outgoing at work (where things are more familiar and relaxed). It's really just the same, if you have something to say, make sure you say it. Don't try to force conversation tho, because it can be obvious.
2007-06-14 14:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. Although I am a bit younger, I have the same problems. People tell me I'm pretty, but I don't believe them. It's mostly my parents and adults who tell me, but I don't think that people my age think that I am. It has been very hard for me to get over shyness, and I'm still working on it. I would reccommend going to see a psychiatrist because they really help. I have made a lot of progress. We do exercises like looking people in the eye when talking or eating in public without feeling uncomfortable. What I would also reccommend is that you try to interact with other people without giving them the feeling that you think you're better than them. If you hold back and don't interact with them, they will start to think that you believe that you're better than them. That is what my psychiatrist thought happened with me.
Also, be yourself!! The people at your office must love you for some reason! Try to bring that girl out when you're in college.
Good luck!
2007-06-14 14:28:44 · answer #4 · answered by Kaila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was the same way when i was twenty. Thought if someone looked me in my eyes they could see right into me.
You'll grow out of it though. You have to be comfortable with yourself first though. You have to stop judging people then people will stop judging you.
Shyness is good though cuz it means when you find good friends, you cherish them for life.
good luck :)
2007-06-14 14:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by rockystartz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha, I felt like I just read my biography, 20, in college, told I'm intimidating and don't look people in the eye... I've found that if you just stop caring what people are going to think of you that you are more yourself (which is what people really like). I wouldn't say to just "be more outgoing and talk to everyone" but instead just talk to people who seem interesting without worrying how they "might" react.
Really weird... I might have asked this exact same question with the exact same details...
2007-06-14 14:26:48 · answer #6 · answered by notlifebutmagnificent 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I REALLY recommend this book called "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov. it is not about being bitchy in the rude sense; she describes it as standing for 'Babe In Total Control of Herself". It can help you realize how to be your own person and gain self-confidence. I can honestly say it changed my life, as cheezy as that sounds!
2007-06-14 14:28:19 · answer #7 · answered by Perky B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont overcome your shyness keep it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because if your shy then a guy sopost to like u how u are u dont have to change 4 nobody just keep looking 4 that special someone!
2007-06-14 14:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something bold like telling your crush you like him/her and once you do that it will be easier and easier the next few times and before you know it you will be over your shyness.
2007-06-14 14:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by hellogoodbyeperson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem...i'm so shy.. i can't look people in the eye so they think i'm lying... it's horrible! I'm 14... but i've NEVER had a bf... ahh... i'll be looking forward to the rest of the answers.. they might help me, too.
2007-06-14 14:25:29 · answer #10 · answered by roxy81492 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋