PLEASE help !!!! What should I do, I just found out my daughter is specting a baby???

Question

My daughter just graduated from HS, and turn 18 yr old few week ago??? .. I ask her to have a abortion, but she did not listen to me, she allow his family to make a dicision for her, they plan out every thing for her, she is under their control.
They tell her to come and live with them, they will taking of every thing.

I am deeply hurt, I cry every night, I can not eat, can not sleep. It is hard for me to let her go...

What Should I do??? she is now on the wrong direction, I am try to pull her out... all of our family, & relatives... begging her to listen to me. ... She had hurt every one that love her

Some time, I am so mad , I thinking that: I will kill his whole family, my daughter , and myself ...

Please help me....
I begging for your help...

My daughter only 3 month Pregnance.

thank you for your concern.

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Answer 1

Your poor daughter she probaly already feels bad enough without you acting all ashamed of her when she probaly needs you the most.

Go to google images and type in abortions, just to see what you are actually suggesting to her, she would be better off keeping it or giving it up for adoption.

You seem like a very selfish person, sure feel upset that she is pregnant so young, but get over it, its her life. Your her mother and need to support her not make her feel terrible for somethinbg that has already been done.

Remember prevention is better than a cure, maybe you should have been paying more attention earlier on.

I was pregnant at 17 and although my mother wasn't to happy with it, she was there for me and now our relationship is better than ever, and my life isn't over I'm now 20 own my own home and a modern car and have nursing qualifications, so your daughtres life is hardley going to end just because she will have a beautiful little baby in 6mths.

Answer 2

First things first, take a deep breath and DONT go on a homicidal rampage. How do you know that they are making all the decisions? Have you sat down and really talked to your daughter? Better yet, Have you sat down and simply listened to her? You can't force your daughter to have an abortion if she doesn't want to. It's her choice. You need to support her, even if you don't agree with her. She is your daughter, you need to love her and be there for her. I got pregnant right out of high school too, just last year in fact. We couldn't afford an abortion. I don't know what I wouldn't have done if my mom hadn't been there for me. She needs you to tell her that you still love her. Help her in the ways she will let you. The harder you push, the further away she'll go. Hold on to her. If she wants to keep the baby, then do something positive, like get her enrolled in parenting classes or put her on the WIC program. This is not the end of the world, or of anyone's life. This is simply a new direction. It may seem terrifying, but you have to be brave, especially for your daughter. She's not trying to hurt anyone, she's just trying to do what she thinks is right. Her heart is in a good place. Let yours be there too.

Answer 3

The first thing I would suggest, is to talk to a therapist about the problem.

If you can't think clearly, talking with someone may help to relieve some of the stress and pain you feel. They may even be able to offer you advice.

Secondly, at 18 - legally she has a right to choose whether or not she wants to have this baby.

Try to find out what her opinions on childbirth are, and be supportive of her decision, even if you disagree with it. I am sure that your disagreement with her decision to have this child is hurting her as well.

At least the father's family is offering to give her a place to live and not abandoning her.

Weigh out your pros and cons. She has made her decisions and life, and you have the choice to help her or ignore her right now.

If you are willing to help her and this guy with their decision, perhaps she can go to school part-time and get a second job. It won't be easy, but these are things that you really need to discuss with your daughter.

I'm sorry that you're going through so much pain. I'm sure she is too.

Hopefully you guys can come to a resolution that makes everyone happy.

Answer 4

Do you realize people can report you for threatening to kill your daughter and her boyfriends family? After reading that, I think your daughter made a wise choice to move in with her boyfriend. You sound extremely unstable and if your daughter did get an abortion, you'd hold that over her head for ever. Your daughter is 18, an adult and capable of making her own decisions. Shame on you for acting the way you are. Giving life is a gift, not something you have sucked out of you and thrown in the trash. What's wrong with people?

Answer 5

just because she is 18 and pregnant does not mean she is heading in the wrong direction. i was 18, when i was pregnant for my daughter, and now i am 27 years old, daughter is 8, this has been the best years of my life. just bc she is young does not mean she cant take care of the baby and herself. i done it as a single mom and i now have a great job, live on my own and have taken care of my daughter for the past 8 years. i see no excuse in this world for anyone to have an abortion, there are other choices she could choose. what about adoption? i think since she was grown enough to make the baby, then you should let her be grown enough and take care of her baby.

Answer 6

Um, I think you are over-reacting just a little bit. Having a baby will not ruin her life, there are plenty of educational and occupational opportunities out there for pregnant women and mothers. I should know, I am one of them. In fact, even if everyone had left her out in the cold, she could have received government assistance to provide for her and her baby. Your daughter is very fortunate that she has his family for support. Moreover, she is a grown woman and it is her decision, no one else's. IMHO, she made the right decision. I can not believe as her mother you would advocate such a tramautic and devastating thing to your child--and an abortion is just that. She (and you) have a lot to look forward to, in about a month she will have an ultrasound to find out if you are having a granddaughter or grandson. Shortly thereafter she will feel the miracle inside of her move around. Then she'll enter the third trimester and be in the home stretch. Please try to support your child and look forward to the positive, you are having a grandbaby. And your daughter can resume her education ASAP and move forward with her life.

Answer 7

First off I can't begin to relate because I have a 4 yr old, However your daughter is an adult now. She is the legal age to make her own decisions. I got married at 18 and its the best thing I ever could do. I know your daughter is probably stressed with this big decision and her mother telling her to kill her child. You should try to support her, whether or not you want her to go through with the pregnancy. She is not legally your responsibility anymore since she is of age now. Try to be there for her and if she doesn't mention wanting to terminate the pregnancy don't bring it up anymore.
This is probably not what you want to hear, but this is my opinion.

Answer 8

CALM DOWN! Just wait another six months, and you will love your new grandchild. She is an adult now, and she can make her own decisions. I was eighteen when I got pregnant with my son, and I still went to college and got married, and now I love my life. Have more faith in your daughter. Maybe if you lightened up and talked to her like an adult she would listen to you. You are now to the point where it's okay to be your daughters friend. You might as well think of the positive things. Everyone loves being a grandmother, and I'm sure your daughter loves you. Right now, she needs to know you love her. Make her favorite dish and invite her over for supper. Tell her you are worried about her, but that you trust her. If your daughter loves that man, you will have to learn to tolerate him. There are all sorts of people you won't like, but you have to just deal with it.

Answer 9

She is your daughter. You need to support her. She is an adult, she graduated high school, she is 18. She has the right to keep a baby if she so chooses. You need to accept her choices and show her love if you want her to be a part of your life. You don't have to agree with the idea of her having a baby at 18, but that doesn't mean you should completly abandon her. She is probably scared.

Answer 10

First - don't kill anyone. This is your daughter, and your grandchild here, remember.

Second - she's 18, she's legally an adult. That means she can legally make decisions for herself, even if you don't like them. Other 18 year old girls have had babies, and they and the parents got through this, survived, and thrived. You will too, if you don't over-react and do something stupid.

If you have to talk to someone, go find a counselor, a friend, a minister or rabbi if you're a believer in that sort of thing. You need to get advice from someone you know and trust.