How can I get my dad to stop drinking?

Question

He has been drinking for more than 18 years and I know his liver is probably bad. He also takes a couple viks a day and Tylenol PM at night. I'm sick of him drinking and driving! I always tell him not to drink and drive and ask him when he's going to quit.I don't have a mother anymore and I don't want to loose my father! Please help!!?

What if he picks the boose Random Acts of Irrev…?

And what kind of poison could I use without killing him?

My father says he's a good drunk driver cause he's been driving for many many years and seems to remember a lot when he's drunk, except for the things he's lost the night before (like his keys). And his cars a piece of crap anyways and wouldn't even notice if I scratched it up. I think its a good idea to try and use poison cause he drink a fifth of jack.

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. Sadly, you cannot make your father stop drinking. What you can do is express to him how his drinking affects you. Ask him if you can talk to him when he is sober. Perhaps you could prepare a list of ways his drinking hurts you and a list of reasons why you want him to get help. If you feel comfortable, you could even look up the phone number of some addictions clinics or Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in your area and give him that information. Whether or not he decides to go, I'd suggest that you might consider attending AlAnon meetings. These are groups that offer to support to relatives or friends of an alcoholic. Their website is http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/. You can find a meeting in your area on there, as well as other resources. No matter what Dad decides, be sure to take care of you.

Answer 2

Sounds like a losing battle you are fighting but nevertheless after reading my mostly negative comments please also scrutinise my very positive comments and suggestions at the end where I am offering some more positive solutions.

Perhaps you may have to forget about trying to reform him which sounds like a waste of time, especially as he has been a boozer for more than 18 years.

What you need to do is to explain to him that although he may be a good drunk driver who is unlikely to cause any accidents, because he is a seasoned drinker, he is still taking enormous risks. The breathalyser only measures the amount of alcohol in your blood and not the effect or degree of impairment so sooner or later he will be breathalysed and he will fail the test miserably with a high reading of at least 0.15 or at least a reading in the mid range between 0.08 and 0.15. A reading between 0.05 and 0.08 is regarded as a low range reading. The penalties for exceeding 0.15 are extremely severe and anyone with a high range reading is regarded as a problem drinker who needs treatment.

A further problem is that the drinking driver gets no sympathy whatever from the police, the courts and the insurance companies in the case of an accident. Even if the accident is caused by the other sober driver the drinking driver always gets the blame even though the accident was not his fault. If he should ever kill someone in a car accident he would end up in prison and even if he injured someone he would be in no end of trouble.

Another problem is that in the event of an accident the insurance does not pay anything if the driver was over the 0.05 limit. Imagine if your father damaged a Rolls Royce, Ferrari, Bentley, Lamborghini, Mercedes or someone's private property or some public property or utility station. The damage could easily be $50,000 damage or even more.

Hopefully you drive a car and perhaps you could arrange to drive him to the local pub or club and collect him when he has had enough. If he has a mobile phone and you have one as well this could be regarded as a safety net.

Now for the more positive suggestions.

Perhaps you could get him interested in some home hobbies like a computer perhaps. Perhaps you could teach him. Perhaps one of his main problems is that he is bored without his drinking mates and would be lost without them. Finding something else for him to do is one possible answer or something to keep him at home so that if he drinks at home then at least you don't have the drink driving worries. Perhaps he could play cards at the local club. Some clubs have card playing sessions almost every day.

Perhaps a new partner to replace your mother is another possibility but perhaps he is not interested.

Answer 3

if you put a poison in his drink he will just get another one, or he will start to abuse you. i would wait till he goes to sleep when he is really drunk then take the car and carefully scratch it up really bad. when he wakes ithe morn ak him what happened. not really, but it sounds like a good idea sometimes. my dad used to drink all the time and say that he could drive better drunk than he could when he was sober. if you are old enough to drvie then you could offer to drive him when he leaves the house drinking. it may not work though , ask him what would happen if he had a wreck, killed the people in the other car, and you was in it looking for him because you was worried about him. there should be a support grou around you, or in your area that counsils children of parents that drink. i think it is called anon, but i am not sure of it though. you really need to get some counsiling on this because it is a eally touchy subject.

Answer 4

I can say from exeperience, your father will only quit drinking when he is ready. I've done the whole thing, dumping his alcohol bottles out, hiding them, telling him me or the booze and none of it worked. Why? I am his daughter, should have been a no brainer right? Especially since he was physically abusive to me when he was drunk but its a disease and unless their ready to quit nothing we say or do will make them.

However... I have limited my time around my father. And for awhile I had to cut ties with him. Since then he doesnt drink when he's around me so it may come to that extreme for you.

Good luck to you and your father... you'll both be in my prayers

Answer 5

Please do not posion ur dad. Itcould turn out worse than u think.
Take out ur phone book and look up alcohol abuse, it shoudl give u some numbers that u can call to get him help and u too. The only bad thing is.....is if he doesn't want to stop drinking then u can not make him. He has to be ready to stop. If you wuld like u can add me to ur friends list and contact me. I am in A.A. and have been sober for almost 5 yrs.
Try to get help for u first since u are the willing party, if u get the steps working in ur life maybe he will want to change too. But u can NOT make him stop or want to stop it as to him that wants it!!

Answer 6

First he has to WANT to. Sit down with im, but tell him gently and in a loving way all the reasons He needs to stop drinking, . Also tell him that tylenol mixed with alchohol even p.m. is very harmful to the liver. be sure and tell him youve already lost your mom ,and you sure dont want to lose your dad, make sure he understands, its not just his life the alchohol is affecting but yours too. Good luck

Answer 7

Sounds like you could get some help from Alanon or Alateen. Its a non-profit organization that provides help to families of alcoholics.

Poisining Dad? Very bad idea...

Answer 8

If you have a brother or any male relative have him beat the crap out of him. A friend of mine had the same problem and it worked. If a female does it, it might embarrass him to drink more.

Answer 9

Stick some duct tape over his mouth,
raid the fridge and drink all the beer yourself,
steal all his money so he cant buy booze,
or you could try telling him how you feel and that you are going to move out if he doesnt stop. Tell him how disappointed and sad you are and offer to go along with him to AA meeting somewhere.
Good luck.

Answer 10

Play on his father's love for you. Tell him he's the most important man in your life and you don't want to lose him. You've already lost your mother and to lose another parent is something you can't live without.