Can it ever be the same?

Question

After one person has cheated in the relationship, can it ever go back to being the same way it was?

Answer 1

It can go back to the same way. But it takes a lot of work on both parts. The cheater has to gain the trust back and understand the times he is questioned "what wereyou doing?" or "where were you?" That it is all the process of healing. The one who was cheated on needs to give in a little once the cheater proves himself a little. It takes a lot of time....

Answer 2

I'll let you know if a few months. Read my question I asked today and you will understand this answer better. I am currently going through a situation where a long term girlfriend cheated on me, and now I have to figure out what to do about it. My only advice right now would be to make a decision you can live with for ever. If you dump the person don't regret not giving it a second chance and vice versa. You'll also have to access the likely hood of them doing it again...also a judgment call on your part. What I am learning in my situation is that whatever you decide to do after being cheated on needs to be in your best interest...the ball is entirely in your court. Long term relationships make the decision tough. Short term relationships I believe you should end it and move on. If they are already cheating after a couple months you can be sure they'll do it again.

Bottom line is if you can 100% forgive and forget it can get back to how it was, and possibly better. If you can only forgive and forget 99%, it will never be the same. It's what I'm wrestling with right now.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

Ive been cheated on and i cant even think about trusting him--even though its been a couple of years i still don't believe him and don't trust him--i think its best to just leave and be with someone else--to find someone that you can trust--i have 3 kids so Ive stayed and Ive been married to him for a long time but if you aren't married or even if you are--leave and find someone that you can trust --my problem is--any place that he is without me i think hes cheating--i know the women that he has cheated with and i see them around and that makes me want to throttle him more--and i go home hating him and sometimes he doesn't know why---and i don't care--the more i can hurt him the better--but see if you are going to be like me and never be able to trust then move on--i cant get past it--and i cant and don't think i ever will trust him--so its up to you and depends on what type of person you are--if you can forgive and forget then i say good for you--if you cant--and are like me--move on--i think a cheater is just that--a cheater--hope this helps you a little and good luck!

Answer 4

I can never be the same way it was. BUT, the way it 'was' wasn't working anyway. So, that means that it CAN be better.

If the 'whys' (why they cheated) are answered for everyone satifactorily...and the issues that 'caused' the cheating are dealt with... it can be overcome.

It would take alot of work (communication, maybe counselling----for both people, honesty, re-building trust,...). BUT, all relationships take some 'work'. Good relationships all need maintenance (communication, date nights, thoughtfulness, consideration).

A relationship that has been through and overcome past hurts and issues----they can actually be stronger for it.

Good luck and take care.

Answer 5

Why would you want it to go back to the way it was? With him lying to you and sneaking around? I think that there will always be trust issues after something like that. I also think that if a guy cheats on you once, or twice or whatever he will do it again and again. There are two kinds of people in this world, people who cheat and people who don't. Find someone who doesn't

Answer 6

Setting aside for a moment the fact that you don't really want it to be the same as it was (i.e. you trusting him when he wasn't earning your trust), it generally takes quite awhile, and lots of concerted, loving effort on his part to regain your trust. You need to be able to believe that, whatever he thought he needed to go outside the relationship for, you're comfortable providing it for him. I'm not talking about sex; that's mostly just the symptom. But if someone else made him feel OK about himself in ways he didn't feel in the marriage, you'll need to be convinced that either you can genuinely and completely love the part of him that didn't feel loved or accepted by you in the first place, or you need evidence that he has taken care of that need in some way that's acceptable to you (like therapy or some significant life change).

Answer 7

no it can nvr b the same. its sad 2 say but very very few ppl can make it the same. when i was cheated on by the person i luv more than nething in the world, it changed a lot of things 4 me. i dumped him, but then i took him back cuz i luved him a lot.
i forgave but i can nvr forget. it doesnt matter how hard i try, i cant. i thought i was over it but then i saw this girl n i realized i i was nothing like his type. now im trying 2 turn into his type but i dk how well its working.

Hope I Helped

``-Anna-``

Answer 8

90% of the time, no. How can the person cheated on ever trust the cheater again?

Answer 9

Never, and thats not always a bad thing since its what lead to that person cheating...things must change for the better...and not remain the way they were.

Answer 10

No, the one who was cheated on will always have trust issues and that can turn into resentment which will turn onto LOTS of arguing and fighting, and you will break up anyway.