Can You........?

Question

tell me a good joke?
i'm lookin' 4 sum funny & fresh stuff i can post on my 360
i'll be sure to let everyone know who it's by.
also websites r fine too!
P.S. best answer gets 10 BIG ones!!!

Answer 1

College student e-mails his family for money:

Dear Mom and Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Larry

The reply:

Dear Son,

We kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Mom & Dad

Answer 2

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a
jigsaw puzzle.

She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she
decided to ask her husband for help.

''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said her husband,
"Put the Kellog's Frosted Flakes back in the box!''
=================================

When u feel lonely and alone
&
cannot see any one around you,
&
the world seems to be fading away,

come along with me

i'll take u to an eye specialist !!
================================

An elderly man in Texas had owned a large farm for
several years. He had a beautiful large pond at the
back of the property next to the road, and he'd fixed
it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits,
and he'd planted some nice flowers and fruit trees
next to the pond.One evening the old farmer decided to
go down to the pond to look it over,as he hadn't been
down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit.As he neared the pond,
he heard splashing and female voices shouting and
laughing with glee.. As he came closer he saw that 5
young women had
parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the
fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the
women aware of his presence and they all went
hurriedly splashing to the deep end.One of the women
shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming out
until you leave!" The old man frowned and yelled back,
"I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the
pond.
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed
the alligator."

(Old men can still think fast)
=============================

Deep within the forest a little turtle began to climb
a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top,
He jumped in to the air waving his little feet he
crashed to the ground,after recovering,he slowly
climbed the tree again,jumped and again fell to the
ground,

Yet he tried again and again.

While a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched
his sad efforts.
Finally the femail bird turned to her mate.

"Dear", don't you think it's time to tell him he's adopted'.

Answer 3

lol.. ok... these are kinda stupid.. but here goes nothing...

Q. How do you kill a blue elephant?
A. With a blue elephant gun!
Q.How do you kill a pink elephant?
A. Make him hold his breath until he is blue, then kill him with a blue elephant gun! (lol so lame)

Q. Why did the trutle cross the street?
A. To get to the shell station. (I love that joke its too cute)

Q. How did the chicken with no wings or legs get across the freeway?
A. Take the F out or FREE and WAY.... =D LOL!

Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A.

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on tuesday?
A. Tell her a joke on wednesday,

ok.. yes they are lame.... lol.. but i like them!

Answer 4

Im 70 y/o but the best time of my life was in bed with another mans wife