Should I change my Oct. wedding date?

Question

My honeymoon has been cancelled because I have to have surgery a week afterwards. I'm having another one a few months before and the meds I will have to be on mess with my head a bit and I'm worried that I won't be able to really remember much.

On the other hand I've been waiting on this for a year. It was my bright spot while I was trying to get better. I love this man and we have so much of the planning all done, invites sent, people have booked travel, everything. I have a great photographer to capture all the memories and if I cancel it will be at least another year if not more before I'm healthy enough and have time to set another date.

I'm so torn. He says it's up to me whether we cancel the wedding or not.

I wanted to add too that we will probably have to cut the reception short to a hour or two since I doubt I will be up to an all night party like we originally planned.

Answer 1

My fiance and I discussed your situation and we think it should come down to how much you think you'll be able to enjoy your wedding. If you think you can still really enjoy your wedding in October, then perhaps you should still have it.

The first thing my fiance thought of was if you canceled the large wedding, still getting married by a Justice of the Peace before you have your surgery and recovery time, so you will be married while you go through everything. And then once you're recovered have the biggest party ever - and the big wedding!! You'll deserve it.

My fiance helped me through cancer when we were in college - so he's very empathetic to your situation. He doesn't suggest the JP in any way to deny you the big wedding, he thought it would be something special to be married and knowing you're married while you go through the surgery and everything.

I can imagine how torn you must be. Does it help having the wedding to look forward to? Postponing it another year feels like a long time, but if you don't think you can fully enjoy your wedding the way you hope to, I'm sure people will understand. And then having a big wedding and a big bash once you're healthy again could be just the thing to help speed your recovery. It will give you something to look forward to.

Or, as other people have suggested - have your wedding as planned and then have your big honeymoon once you are better - still giving you something wonderful to look forward to.

Answer 2

I don't think there is a simple yes or no answer to this. Perhaps it would be a good idea to make a list of pros and cons to canceling the wedding. That has always helped me in the past.

Have you considered just scheduling the honeymoon for a one year anniversary present to yourself and your future husband?

Having spent all this money and not being able to get most of it back due to deposits, is it really worth it to cancel just to have a longer wedding? I hate to hear about the surgery, that is a bummer, but you have to do what is best for yourself and your fiance.

Personally, I would go through with it if getting married is the priority. If having a wedding is the priority, maybe you should wait.

Answer 3

Do not cancel the wedding-it will be something to look forward to, and it sounds like you need some bright spots in your life.

I don´t know what your illness is, but I can tell from my Mom being ill, that happy things in life are what she looked forward to. When I wanted her to stop teaching when she was diagnosed, she insisted on teaching, because this was what made her feel useful and happiest. Don´t you think you deserve this happy event after all the ---- you have been going through?

If you have to cut your reception short, who cares? All of your guests will understand. You don´t know how you are going to feel until that night, and maybe you will be on a natural high, and won´t be as tired as you think. Oh, and if you are ill on your wedding date, ask your vendors if the next day would be reserved for you. Tell them your situation-I am sure if they are professional, they will be flexible to your needs. Your guests probably are aware of your illness, they should be able to go with plan B! Ask your physician(s) to help regulate your medicines so that you will remember your wedding day, not be in a blur.
God bless you during this time of trouble, and of joy!!

Answer 4

I would go for it. You can have a honeymoon at a later date when you are feeling up to it. As for not wanting to spend all night and cutting it short....You can leave at anytime that you want you don't have to stay all night. The bride and groom aren't supposed to from what I have heard anyways. Just as long as you have some family representation there to take care of things. I am getting married in a couple of weeks and the wedding is until 1:00 am and my fiance and I plan on leaving at 11...I say go for it. Just take it easy and everything will work out find. Besides I am sure that all of your family and friends know that you are up to yourself 100% and will understand.

Answer 5

I cancelled my wedding a year and a half ago because my wife didn't want to be pregnant while at the cermony. We had everything booked and her aunt was coming from across the country. We felt so bad and she was mad at us, but in the end it has to be what you want. It is the one day in your life where you are aloud to be selfish. They will get over it if they love you. My family got over and a year after that we did get married and it was the best we could of had. We never have regretted it once. I think you should stop thinking of anyone but you and your fiance and if doesn't care what you do. Than just go with your heart.

Answer 6

Since you have so much planned, and this would be a bright spot in a time of working on your health, I would do it. You may not be up all night partying and such, but I think it would be that bright spot you may need.

As for the honeymoon, take it in a year when you are healthier. It might make a good first year anniversary gift for the two of you to celebrate one year of marriage. Good Luck and I will keep you in my prayers!

Answer 7

Can you move the wedding up? Instead of pushing it back? Just a thought.
I hope you dont forget your own wedding. That would totally suck.
If you dont want to switch it, then I wouldnt. I'd still have a smal honeymoon with your hubby at a local hotel or something. Something small, and then when you're all better then you two can take a real honeymoon or cruise or something.

good luck. congrats.

Answer 8

I would simply reschedule the honey moon, but not the wedding date.
If you're worried about not remembering the whole wedding, I'm sure you could have someone record the memory for VHS or DVD.
A honey moon can be taken at any time! Your wedding is something you've obviously been planning on, perfectly, for October.

I hope your wedding, surgery, and honey moon are all succesful, good luck!

Answer 9

You've sent out the invitations to an October wedding by June? We should all be so organized! ; )

Seriously, though, if you've got everything arranged and you're going to be well enough to do it, go ahead and get married.

As for remembering, well, a lot of brides don't have very clear memories of their weddings. That's what a good photographer is for.

Hang onto every bright spot you can! Best of luck and best of health to you.

Answer 10

i wouldnt cancel it if people have already started getting ready to travel. I would just have it earlier in the day so that you can have it longer. Maybe around 2-3 and let the reception last until around 5-6 that way you and your new husband will be able to enjoy your first night as husband and wife.