Answer only if you have experience. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or out of sight out of mind?

Question

now we all have heard those sayings.

1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You don't really realize what you have until you completely lose it. No matter where or what that person is doing , (bf, gf, ex bf/gf, husband wife/ex husband/wife, lover , etc)...or where they are. They are always in your thoughts and not having them makes you realize how much more you love them and its only them you love/want!

OR

2. Out of sight , out of mind. no one has a soul mate. We all can connect to tons of people..they are out there, maybe some are even better than the one you got. You are used to them, their company, their understanding of YOU and your understanding of them. So if they left, if they are gone for a while...and never came back. sure you'd be hurt but after a while you get used to it...out of sight, and eventually out of mind. You'll have someone again.
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Which do you believe? And please back up your answer with real stories and experiences! let the battle begin!

Answer 1

WAY easier than you are making it out to be...absence makes the heart grow fonder. This statement is about love...it can be a bf/gf...a very close friend...unrequited love...even close family members. If you truly love someone...you will move heaven and earth to make sure that they stay in your thoughts and that you stay in theirs. It's the sole reason that some long distance relationships work...and others fail. I was very much in love with a girl who lived over 100 miles away...I would see her on weekends...fall deeper in love...and go back to what had been an already bleak life...not that I didn't have friends...didn't go to concerts...I was constantly active. However, being away from her had sucked the life out of everything that I thought was important. Going out...and see people together...made it worse. I kept doing things constantly...JUST so I could get a few seconds here or there when I was not thinking of her...of her being there with me...of both of us being somewhere else. Night, specifically going to bed, was like being raked over hot coals. I even had many more nightmares. Time would grind to a complete stop...like the clock at school...on Friday...15 minutes before the bell rings.
But then, the weekend would come, I would go straight from work and during that 100 miles...the music was better...the food was better...the grass was greener...everything would set itself right in the world...and by the time I got there...the grinding nightmare of the week was gone. Like it never happened. It was fun doing mindless things like dishes...seriously...I was with HER...EVERYTHING was fun...we didn't have to do anything...or go anywhere...and most of the time...we didn't (for obvious reasons)...
Out of sight, out of mind...please...I would miss her when I was in her apartment and she had some family obligation...or errand to run...
HOWEVER, if out of sight, out of mind is what happens when you are apart...if you look forward to things without the person...or...intentionally plan things "because you need your space" and other crap like that...then you have no idea what I've been talking about...and probably never will. So, to cop out on the question...well...not really, because it's the truth...but both are right. Some people are wired one way...some the other...but the absence people (and you know who you are)...carry a MUCH bigger burden through life. Love doesn't just vanish one night...it tears at you slowly...ALMOST making you wish you had never fallen in love in the first place. And it can take a month or two years to get over that sick feeling...and start trusting someone again. Because...as natural dreamers...we tend to strip away all the negative things we experienced with the other person, and are left with the feelings we had early on. The passion, the love, the endless thoughts about a perfect life together. And yes, I still love her...even though we are no longer together.
As for people who I have loved and they have left...wow...my posts are filled with references to past loves. Some of them have been out of the COUNTRY for 10 years, yet I still think of them. Especially when writing in here....
I think you should focus on...Is it better to have loved and lost or to never have loved at all?
...OXO...Kes

Answer 2

velvet my little Silky Skin friend,i know for a fact,that Absence makes the Heart grow fonder, and yes i do tell people i love and Care about,how much i appreciate them,from Family to Contacts and friends,they all mean so much to me,and i know an Angel in Ireland to,O yes i do,and was there for me just when i needed a little Help,i will never forget that, so take care my sweet little Tiger.

Answer 3

The difference between your questions comes down to one simple factor: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

My first gf is a good example of both senarios. When I first met her, it seemed I couldn't go a day without calling her to hear her voice. I ran up my phone bill, went WAAAY over my limit in text messaging, but it seemed worth it because I was staying in contact with the girl that I loved. The first time we had sex, it was so awesome. I had no idea that I could pleasure her so much with what I had.

But then, I got to know her for who she was. She yelled at kids who were misbehaving when a quiet word was good enough. She made plans for people without asking. She became very controlling. One example: Red flags started waving in my head when she got a wedding planner and a David's Bridal magazine three weeks after we had gotten serious. In her mind, we were going to get married within 6 months and we were going to live happily ever after. But since I'm a free bird and a very spontaneous person, I absolutely hate to be tied down to committments. Especially when the end of my freedom is looming over my in six months. She had found her person, I had found my cage. As soon as she dropped the key, I snatched it up, unlocked my cage and got out of there. She chose to come after me with a BB gun that was shaped like a .9mm and it was at that point that I decided I had made the right decision to leave her.

I have no feelings for her whatsoever, but I do find that every so often I see her face in my mind. I just (at this point) quickly block out her image and think of things that are happening presently instead of what happened in the past.

Answer 4

My ex-boyfriend from YEARS ago left for Texas (I'm in Minnesota) shortly after we broke up... I haven't seen him in probably three years. We use to talk every night on the phone until on Valentines day of 2005 he told me he met someone in Texas. A month later she was pregnant and they were engaged. I tried the whole not talking to him, out of site out of mind, but it didn't work. When they broke up we started talking again, but I am involved with somebody else and It was interfering with our relationship. I still think about him everyday even though we don't talk. bottom line. I go #1

Answer 5

No absence does not make the heart grow fonder... Speaking from personal private experiences... As far as out of sight out of mind goes> Life goes on.........

Answer 6

Both. There's something very romantic about pining for the one who isn't here. But, that only goes so far.. there's a lot to be said for the one who is here and holds me and makes love to me.. so eventually, I did, and will again give in to the one who is here.. It's all about knowing when to hold 'em and when to let 'em go..

Why is it that some guys only want what they can't have? Sometimes all a gal can do is to let go and move on, while still dreaming of the one who isn't here.

Answer 7

Absents makes a heart grow fonder. I liked this guy and he like me"more than a best friend but, less than a girlfriend" and everytime we had to go we'd ALWAYS think about each other and we'd always like each other more everyday!!!!

Answer 8

1 if both of you are in love with each other it works if not, it will be #2

Answer 9

I believe in #1, because i met this guy last summer and he lives in Mexico. So i havent seen him in a long time.I really really liked him. And i STILL think about him.

Answer 10

Both are true.
When you are aware that you've lost your mate, it sucks and you want them even more.
However, when they are just out of town or something and you know they're coming back then go out and play.