How do you support someone when they are grieving?

Answer 1

Hi there, I lost my darling Mum 7 years ago, I was only 25 when she died. I managed to get through it just knowing that I had people around me if I needed them. At first I pushed everyone away and didnt want to see or speak to anyone - this is quite normal. Patience and tender loving care is the best way forward I found. I said and done lots of bad things to people and ofcourse I didnt mean it, grief really does affect people in some strange ways. Am sure that you feel like pulling your hair out sometimes but, hang on in there.
I really wish you the best.XXXXX

Answer 2

It is a very high tight wire you are walking and there is no net. Be very careful and balance being available with giving all the room necessary for them to grieve.

I have been there with both parents. It is very hard when you lose a loved one. I would, and have, encouraged the grieving party to do those things necessary for themselves. If they want to stay at the grave, it's OK. If they want to fill the grave themselves, it's OK. Anything they feel a need to do, back them and run interference if necessary.

Good luck, you have a lot of something ahead of you. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, everyone is different and there just isn't an instruction book that comes in the mail when someone dies. It's on the job training. I am available through my profile. If you need a shoulder, I'm here...

Answer 3

I found that I was very bad tempered and totally unable to make decisions and the people who helped me most were those that accepted that and didn't expect me to react normally to anything.
I couldn't even decide whether I wanted coffee or tea to drink and what I really liked was people just plonking a drink in front of me and saying 'drink that'.
So....make as few demands as you possibly can, expect bad temper (even rage), obviously allowing people to cry (wherever they are....memories sweep over you at the oddest times) is a help, doing the practical things for them (grieving is exhausting) and leaving them alone when they ask will all help.
Also remember to look after yourself, helping someone through a trauma is draining and you need to remember to nurture yourself too.
Best wishes, my heart goes out to you both.

Answer 4

simply be there. let them cry on your shoulder. listen to what they have to say. make sure they aren't a danger to themselves. see that they have food and medical attention, if needed. i think the most important thing is to just be there. grieving is how a person works through a sad and devastating situation and if they don't grieve, they won't be able to heal.
good luck to you and the person you are trying to support.

Answer 5

Just be there when they want you and disappear when they don't. But, never go too far away for too long. Grief is a process, which may take a year to complete. It takes a lot of energy to be a grief partner. Ever hear of Stephen Ministers? Find one at a local Presbyterian church. You'll need the advice of someone who's seen the grieving process.... Thanks for caring about your friend.

Answer 6

A good listener and a hug would help the griever. For more information on grieving, I suggest you go to helpguide.com. It is very good information, very detailed . Read it, and I am sure you will find it useful.

Answer 7

I'm sure der r lots of answers above!
to help him deal with the loss!
The only solution
for yourself &
as a partner will be!
Just do your best.... 2b as understanding as poss!
when he need's space, stay away.
When he needs hug's & love,......... Be there!

it is hard 2 know which 1,,,, 2 choose @ d time!
please be der 4 him when he needs u!
1/3d of d time he will be totaly strong!
2 help U2 help him 2 get 2 terms with it!
dont push him 2 grieve!
when ready the flood g8's will flow!
be there 2 just 2 let them know! .x.x.
being there 2 help is more important than you will ever know!

Answer 8

Just listen to them. Everyone grieves intheir own way and time and there is not much we can do. Only say something if they ask you for your opinion. If it gets tough, contact "cruse" for help, they are a charity focusing on bereavement.

Answer 9

Have patience and understanding , even though you won't understand how they are feeling. A good ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on and an arm for support.

Answer 10

Let them know you are there.... anytime of the day - they will talk when they are ready to but do not avoid the person - when my parents died people just pretended I didn't exist! It was horrible. I got a beautifully written card from a close friend of mine who just wrote - I love you and my heart is with you... talk or silence, whatever you need... do not smother but do not be afraid to talk either.