My boyfriend and I are kind of on a break now because he said he's having a really hard time coping with all of this Iraq stuff ( a few of his close friends were recently killed). He told me he just needed time to think and that he'd call me when he was ready to talk. I promised id be here for him and I still send him emails and care packages to let him know im thinking about him. I'm having such a hard time understanding why he wants time away from me, though. I just want to be there for him and I feel like he's pushing me away. Should I keep waiting for him or do you think its something beyond him just having a hard time coping? I love him to death and just want him to be happy. Any advice would be great thanks!
2007-06-14 12:27:47 · 12 answers · asked by stacyc 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Being in the war zone / Sandbox is hard but when you lose Friends it gets harder. He prob loves you and is trying to distant himself from you to protect you from the pain of losing him ( the pain he feels from losing his buddies ) at war if this happens. He is trying to sort out his feeling on this matter just give him time and he will come around to feeling human again and he'll start communications with you.
Vet-USAF 44MMS
2007-06-14 12:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by ฉันรักเบ้า 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
He needs you!!! The things that he is going through is going to be life altering. I am sorry to say he might not be the same when he comes home. On the bright side you are very lucky. You have a hero, and when a hero goes to war, he feels so much better knowing that you are there. Being in a relationship with a soldier is no easy task, but you chose him. Now when your hero comes home you are going to have the task of wiping tears, holding your hero and letting him know it is going to be OK. What can I tell you to do? Support, Support, Support!!! Keep up the e-mails. Keep up the care packages. Keep the faith in your hero!!!
2007-06-14 12:45:06 · answer #2 · answered by helpourvets 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those guys who are being sent to Iraq are very brave men, but no one says that they don't have fears about having to be in this war. Americans don't even understand the cause anymore. It's as if they are there, fighting, and dying everyday and none of the White House people care. They don't talk about it, only the media does the talking.
your b/f might be afraid that he might die over there and he doesn't want to stay close enough to you that it would destroy you if something happened to him.
If you care for him, try to reassure him that you will wait for him no matter what, and keep those care packages going to him. Maybe send him some literature, or jokes or something about home to read about; (good news only). God Bless.
2007-06-14 12:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He still loves you, but the death of his buddies put him into a reality check and perspective on things, being that this just hit him close to home and there is a REAL chance he might not come back. Being over there right now I understand him. Some people react differently than others to the same things. He probably just wants time to reflect on things and get his thoughts back in order. Plus he probably does not want you to worry. Just support him and let him know your side, but understand that he will have seen things you have only seen in war & horror movies. Plus he might be a change person emotionally when he returns. SUPPORT HIM!!! LOVE HIM!!! HE NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT and understanding.
2007-06-14 12:36:57 · answer #4 · answered by dktsgt 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just keep hanging in there while he is deployed. The last thing he needs right now is a "Dear John" letter. Give him time to come around. You are doing the right thing by still showing your support. If you really want to be there for him, then just keep it up. Don't be upset if he never responds. I know it's difficult, even heartbreaking, not hearing from him, but all he needs is time. You can figure out your relationship when he gets back.
2007-06-14 12:35:05 · answer #5 · answered by cmortality 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just give him his space. How you handled it is about theonly thing you can do. If you squeeze to hard on something you don't want to let go, you will kill it. And, when he says he needs his space, he needs it. He needs to deal with everything he has seen and done over there. And I'm sure part of him also wants to keep that tragedy and those things away from you, especially if he cares about you at all. Be there for him, but don't stifle him. He will open up to you when he is ready.
2007-06-14 14:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stacy, the worst thing you could do at this juncture is put pressure on him. He has enough of that. Keep all of your communications positive. Keep him informed. Let him know the things you're doing. Let him know that while you look forward to hearing from him, you understand if he doesn't really have anything to say to you right now.
It may take a while and you have to be prepared for that. But if you truly love him and want him to be back with you when he returns, it'll be worth it.
Oh I forgot the other worst thing you could do, but you didn't indicate you were contemplating it, that'd be unfaithfulness.
2007-06-14 12:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by John T 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Support him. He definitely needs the help but he knows, as do most of the troops with half a brain in their head, that the Iraq war is pointless and should be withdrawn from Iraq immediately to let the Iraqi people get on with their own lives. There is nothing more they can do there. It is time to come home.
2007-06-14 12:36:14 · answer #8 · answered by Open your eyes 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Do exactly that the first poster wrote. Continue to support him. He doesn't have the time nor the emotional inclination to think about your relationship while performing such a job. Just love him and support him -- it /will/ be remembered.
2007-06-14 12:36:54 · answer #9 · answered by hbomb8404 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
He needs time, so back off of him and continue doing what you're doing. He needs counseling really badly. More than likely some form of PTSD---especially if he's seen friends die. That's a lot of violence that most people can't wrap their heads around, you know?
Encourage him to go get some help. He needs to talk to someone who knows what he's gone thru and seen.....unfortunately it's not you. My husband can't/won't talk to me about it either, and I'm okay with that. He's got other people he can talk to about his experienced.
2007-06-14 14:02:17 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋