So, i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, and it seems that his parents do not really treat me/view me as a part of their family. I do not get invited to family functions/family vacations and my parents ALWAYS invite my boyfriend to those things. My parents always buy him really nice and personal gifts when it comes to his birthday and christmas. My boyfriends parents just end up buying me something very impersonal such as gift cards. It is very frustratring because i plan on marrying my boyfriend, and it is hard because i want to be apart of his family, but i feel as though i'm not. This weekend they are going to a family member's graduation party, and not only was i not invited, but they asked me to dog-sit for them. Please give me some advice, or let me know if this has happened to you, and if it has, do things change when you're married? thank you!!
2007-06-14 12:18:21 · 8 answers · asked by girlygirl83 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a friend in your situation exactly - *do we know each other?* And she has talked to me about how his family, especially his mother looks down upon her because she (my friend) comes from a poorer financial background. In my opinion, coming from a third party point of view, its not worth the trouble and difficulty you are having to go through right now. His family blatantly do not respect you and do not welcome you as one of them - and its highly unlikely this is going to change UNLESS you and his family and him get to the root of the problem - what or why is it they are treating you like they are?
- is there some underlying misunderstanding that's causing them to think badly of you?
- has your boyfriend said anything or done anything to make them treat you like this?
- Have YOU done something, maybe not suspecting it was inappropriate?
If people talk and talk OPENLY in this situation, there is really no reason why this can't be solved, unless his family is so unreasoanble and dislike you for not common-sense reason. In that case, I would opt out, to save my sanity.
2007-06-14 12:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Lighthouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my friend (married her boyfriend a year ago) and sadly, his family is still treating her in an impersonal way, the only way to deal hun is if utruly love and care about him, then don't worry about his family, they'll come around on their own time, just be the great person that u r!
2007-06-14 19:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Dar-E-O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They think it's not the time yet???
Don't know.. but my mom think that my girlfriend and i weren't in a stable relationship that would allow my parents to treat my girlfriend as one of our family..
on the other hand, i was treated like a son-in-law
2007-06-14 19:23:56 · answer #3 · answered by Worried D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend. He needs to stand up for you. This will not change after you're married. If he won't stand up for you now, then it's time to move on.
2007-06-14 19:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by lisahillkc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've been together 3 years and you're not married? i have a son, and if dated a female for 3 years, i'd be hesitant to accept her into the family. i'd think there must be something amiss if he won't marry her.
2007-06-14 19:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by wickedladyredd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen huney light ur boyfriends parents house on fire tonight when they are sleeping thats what i did it solved all my problems LOL LMAO kidding or am i? ur not in their family so it will change
2007-06-14 19:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to have a talk with them. try to express your feelings to them in a good way. Just simply express yourself calmly to them. they may just be afaid that your bf wll leave them for you. Share him.
2007-06-14 19:22:50 · answer #7 · answered by Emma R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not about them, it's about him. If he is allowing this, are you sure you want to....?
2007-06-14 19:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋