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Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, " He is so sweet and gentlemanly, he would never go for this carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice, and gave up the beans. Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

2007-06-14 12:04:22 · 19 answers · asked by pbandj 5 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

Im sorry but its long

2007-06-14 12:05:00 · update #1

19 answers

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I'm still wiping the tears from my face. I would give you two thumbs up!!!

2007-06-14 12:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by nettie m 3 · 0 0

appears like some ingredient my little toddler of the corn would have stated at that age....pretty humorous, toddlers being elementary is funnier than optimal jokes besides.on a similar time as mine became into in 5th grade, I picked her up from college and he or she cautioned me all approximately Hitler and the Nazis, then she stated that Japan purely had to initiate somethin', and whith in no way cracking a smile she extra suitable, " SO WE had to bypass OVER THERE AND JACK EM UP!!", I approximately crashed from guffawing

2016-10-17 07:21:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Its funny, 7out of 10

2007-06-14 12:17:25 · answer #3 · answered by BL 1 · 0 0

thats hilariouse oh yeah u need 2 fix ur acount so people can mail u questions u know like if bones swiss are any good or super swiss six?

2007-06-14 12:55:39 · answer #4 · answered by some dude 2 · 0 0

Ha Ha! Funny! Ouch! 10!

2007-06-14 12:11:59 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0 0

I loved it, the magical fruit the more you eat the more you toot, lol

2007-06-14 12:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 0 0

That's funny! My mom and brother and I laughed!

2007-06-14 12:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

gurl, the joke made my day. heres a star
keep um comin

2007-06-14 12:34:56 · answer #8 · answered by **beep** 6 · 0 0

Beans Beans the magical fruit,
the more you eat the more you......

Beans Beans their good for your heart,
the more you eat the more you......

2007-06-14 12:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

it would be funnier as a commercial about pepto-bismol or whatever it's called

2007-06-14 12:07:52 · answer #10 · answered by xandi 1 2 · 0 0

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