We have been together for 2 years and his ex girlfriend is a psycho. I pay his phone bill, so I feel I have the right to see who he is calling. He's promised me over and over that he won't call her anymore, but he still does once or twice a week. I know there isn't anything going on romantically, but I do not want her talking to her period. She's the "ex" for a reason. Is it just me?
2007-06-14 11:41:57 · 16 answers · asked by alyciah33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They could just be friends, you would be asking him to stop talking to a friend, so no you don't have the right.
2007-06-14 11:45:01 · answer #1 · answered by EDizzle03 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even if there "isn't anything going on romantically," your boyfriend promised you he'd stop calling her and broke that promise. Of course you're going to have problems with him talking to his ex when he's lying to you about it, saying he won't and then doing it anyways. I know I would be uncomfortable with my boyfriend talking to his ex, no matter how much I trust him. It's natural to feel threatened by someone he was connected to before. I don't know what a good approach to this would be (I'm no relationship counselor or anything), but if it were me in your shoes, I would try to discuss things with him rationally. I would try and keep my voice level and not begin to yell or sound accusatory, just have a patient, honest, level talk with him. I might ask why he feels the need to call her so often, and I might explain why it bothered me - like why does he feel the need to talk to his ex instead of myself, or why I feel threatened or upset by it. It's important to keep your head during a discussion like this, because it is a touchy subject and it is easy to lose control and get into an argument. Often, when a discussion like this turns into a big argument, nothing is accomplished and the two of you may feel more stubborn and close-minded about your positions than before. I really hope everything works out for you, and good luck with however you decide to approach this situation.
2007-06-14 11:54:28 · answer #2 · answered by Adelaide 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are not about rights. It's one of the deepest connections you will have with a person. He should see how you feel and want to make the "sacrifice" if you can even call it that--especially if he's the one doing the calling.
This doesn't just go for this situation, but every situation you have in your relationships:
1) Effectively communicate how you feel about it. Don't ask him to do anything. Don't beat around the bush either. Let him know exactly how you feel.
2) See if he does anything about it (on his own!)
3) If he does, great. If he doesn't, you need to realize that this will be the way your relationship works for the rest of your life. Are you okay with that? If not, it's really time to look elsewhere. One of the first things you should look for in a partner is EMPATHY. It's the key to all human relationships.
2007-06-14 11:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by Karoline M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not just you. For one thing, he has promised not to, and keeps doing it. That is not a good sign. And even if there is nothing going on romantically, are you really that positive it will stay that way? I mean, why is he calling her all the time? There has to be a reason for that, too. Find out why he calls her all the time, and you'll know whether or not you really need to stop it. Regardless, you are well within your right to ask him to stop. You at least deserve a proper explanation. If he is not over her yet, then maybe he is not ready for a relationship with you.
2007-06-14 11:46:39 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a touchy subject. Of course you have every right to ask him to stop. Ask him once, twice. Third time is the magic number to show your seriousness. After that, be settle and firm to your decisions. Whatever you might decided, like, start to independently doing stuffs on your own or with other friends (guy/girl) excluding him. Especially if you made prior plan with them. Don't let him change your mind. You are not making him jealous (indirectly) but to show him your independent and that if he doesn't listen or telling you stuffs you don't necessary have to either. Don't do it in a revengeful way. Just be your asserted, independent YOU. He will thinks twice the next call he makes to his ex.
2007-06-14 12:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by B12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's rather unusual that they're communicating as much as they are. I'm glad you know that there's nothing going on, but just because there isn't doesn't mean that you still can't feel like something is. And no, it's not just you. Your boyfriends needs to be sensitive to the fact that him talking to his ex that frequently makes you uneasy. I think you should communicate to him that you know that there's nothing going on, but you can't help how you feel. If he truly cares for you he should take your feelings into consideration and do his best to put your mind at ease. I pray everything works out for the best. God Bless!
2007-06-14 11:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kori spelled backwards is Irok 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's you or the highway. If you're living and sleeping together, it sounds like you need to spice things up and make him feel that you're the best there ever was. If you've never tried oral, shave yourself and suggest 69. You can make sure you taste good by eating a lot of fruit. Wear him out if you have to. Even fake big "O's" on occasion if necessary.
2007-06-14 11:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by salty68dawg 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He clearly isn't going to stop calling her so you need to decide if you are going to stick around or not. By continuing to call her when he knows it bothers you shows a lack of respect towards you.
I would also stop paying his phone bill.
2007-06-14 11:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by justpassingthruhere333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell yeah, tell him to quit calling her, its that simple, if he still does, then you should probably be suspicious, so find out what is so important that he needs to talk to her, and if they dont have a kid together, than there is no reason
2007-06-14 11:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by mark h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was goin out with my gf for exactly a year and then she sed tht she was talkin to her ex... i asked her not to talk to him. then the next day or watever it was she went to his house...and sed she was goin to her frends...then she broke up with me after awhile put me through more **** then u could ever imagine..then she wanted me bak after a month or so...and still put me through **** with him and was with me AND him at the same time and never told me. till she broke up with him. but she was still sein him wen i wasnt around which is messed up. now they dont talk at all.
2007-06-14 11:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋