How do I get over him?

Question

I just lost my soul mate, the love of my life. We were together for almost four years, and planned on spending the rest of our lives together.

I'm a total wreck. I can't imagine living my life without him. I invested so much into the relationship. I was always concerned about his feelings ahd wellfare. I put university on hold, moved 8 hours away from home, and spent my college fund on moving in with him.

I'm back home with my parents, and they've been very supportive. I feel so alone though. Most of my friends where I lived with him are his friends also, and they are closer with. I people I was friends with here have drifted apart over the years. I went back to school part time in January, and I really have my heart set on the program back where my Ex lives now. I couldn't stand living in that city alone though, and the program isn't offered around here. I don't know what to do :(

I would do anything, even die for this man. How do I live my life without him?

Answer 1

God, I feel for you. I hope you have a friend you can talk to and just pour out your feelings. Or maybe write them down somewhere just so you can work through your pain. Focus on your life and try and move forward, be strong, and focus on school and friends and family. Don't let this ache in your heart turn into a cancer that destroys your life.

It's like he'd dead to you now. And you just have to move on. Think of him as dead (not in a destructive way, but as a way of not kidding yourself that he'll come back to you) and focus on reshaping your life into what you want it to be.

Write down three goals on a piece of paper and try and make every day about achieving those goals. Work on making some new friends, who are his and your friends, but your friends. Take up swing dancing, that's just an awesome feel good thing to do.

Be strong and know that this is a sad part of being a woman, the pain of losing your man.

Answer 2

If he is your soul mate then he will find a way to work things out with you. I know how much it hurts to loose someone you love. But sometimes things happen for a reason. Who knows maybe there is a man who is 10X better out there for you. You have to be strong and somehow be patient. If it is meant to be then it will be. I know you heard that saying, "Sometimes you have to let go and if it comes back then you know it was truly yours" This could be a test to see if your love can overcome. Please stop making sacrifices for him. You already have done enough. It is his turn now. You will get through this. Have faith and finish school.

For future reference: Never give a man everything because once he is gone you are left with nothing. Think about it. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

been there....
first of all - I am sorry that everything doesn't work the way you wanted. but don't feel sorry too much for yourself and trying to do a lot activities outside the house. Go shopping, take a dance class, go to gym, meet friends for coffee - anything to meet a new people...or go for holiday somewhere - beach perhaps and enjoy your days. Do things that you never had time to do that. Change your hair style - just make yourself happy.

yes it won't be easy... if he's for you - he will be back to you but if he's not - just thankful that you had a great time together with him after all these times. Wishing him happy and most important - it's you...

Answer 4

When I read the first couple of lines of your post, I thought, oh no, someone's died. Then I read, no, it's just another break up story.

OH LORD GIRL! Get some therapy! Your life is a precious gift and to say that you would die for this person is ridiculous. Take a walk around the children's cancer ward in your nearest hospital and then think about this pitty party for one.

Don't get me wrong, I've been hurt by a break up but you can't go talking crazy about "how do I live my life without him"! You live by taking one day at a time and getting a life of your own.

Get your education and succeed in life. That's the best thing you can do for yourself.

Answer 5

first breath..it will take a while to get over him...so dont be afraid to hurt over him....its normal..but you have got to live your life again...follow the dreams you once had. and dont let the memory of this guy hold you back. What would he have wanted you to do? Your best guess is probably as good as mine, and thats to move on. The trick is to move on, but never forget. You need to move on with your life, go to college and make a life for yourself. But never forget him, allow yourself to cry over him sometimes, but dont let him hold on to your life.
Right now, its okay to be sad and to cry, but you need to gather the strength thats in there somwhere and get moving.
Some advice, sooner is way better than later, but only when ur ready

Best of luck
Pray

God bless

Leelah

Answer 6

Make yourself busy with things that you wanted to do but where not able to do with him. If getting out of bed is hard. Give yourself a pat on the back for just getting out. Write a list of things you love about yourself.
BABY STEPS. Even if you go backwards. Realize it. And keep tiring. Praying is also very good.

Answer 7

It sounds like he really hurt you. I'm sorry. Try to keep your mind off of him...go out for dinner with friends, spend time on your hobbies and other aspects of your life. Eventually you will feel better and maybe find a new guy. Don't worry, it'll all be okay. Good luck!

Answer 8

Find a new man that will make you forget him. You should have never gave up your college fund to move with him.

Answer 9

You get up you put one foot in front of the other....
Rent Sleepless in Seattle the rest of the line is in there,

Answer 10

well.... I'm sure he would want you to go on. just remember the good times you guys had together but remeber they're just memories and that life goes on.