what is your parenting philosophy?

Question

What is your parenting philosophy. what do you teach your children, or what will you/ do you practise while raising your child?

Answer 1

First, I'm a parent, not a friend. And secondly...

Benevolent dictator (on its face) is: "...an absolute ruler who exercises his or her political power for the benefit of the people rather than exclusively for his or her own benefit."(http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/dictator).

I'd like to think of my household as a benevolent dictatorship because it's certainly not a democracy. I honestly believe that a part of the reason families are so out of control is the democratic process. In my house, it gets done because "I said so." And though sometimes obtained through mild aggression, never through repression but more celebration of obedience because my children need to understand that what I do, I do for their benefit, not for their demise. My goal as a benevolent dictator is to build up my children while establishing healthy boundaries and outlooks.

The mistake to a democracy in the world of children is because they reason as children and sometimes, when they don't get their way, they remind of just how childish they are because they act and react as children do (immature, unreasonable and selfish). And they're supposed to.

An interesting thing happens when I take my oldest daughter in public (the younger one is just a baby), and this has happened since my oldest daughter was two or so: people always comment about how polite and well-behaved she is and 9 times out of ten, will ask me how I do it. My answer is simple: "She's what happens when you don't give them (children) too many choices." It's not to say she doesn't have ANY choices because she does. It's just to say that once I've said no, that's it...it's not a negotiating process. Once I set a rule, that's it and if it's bent or broken, there's an already established consequence, which varies depending on the severity of the disobedience.

As she gets older, the relationship slowly evolves into what is to ultimately become a 65/35 in favor of democracy. The logic here is as I'm teaching her, she's actually learning and so as she becomes older, she can be trusted more to make sound choices and actually think about a decision before it's made. Ideally, with age comes wisdom.

That's not to say that she won't make mistakes because Lord knows she will; it's just to say that there's a difference between a mistake and a blatently corrupt decision and either way, as she gets older, I am to loosen my grip and become more a support system than a ruler. (In younger years, I'm both as well, but rule more because at younger ages, I think it's more necessary to make decisions for them rather than with them).

Plus, let's keep it real: in the real world, as adults, we have rules and some of them are harsh. And really, we have a democratic government, but laws that are totalitarian in nature to a degree. If you commit a crime, you are charged with that crime and some predetermined penalty is applied. You murder someone and you could end up on death row (or if you have great lawyers, you may actually walk free...lol). You speed or don't wear a seatbelt and pay a fine.

Further, the penalty is based on the severity of the unlawful act. Raising children is no different in that regard. When we become adults, the law, in great part, becomes our parent because a lot of the bad or illegal decisions we tend NOT to make are done based partly on how we were raised and what we know of any penalties for certain offenses.

So, in my house, another word for benevolent dictator is "Mommy." LOL.

-Faith

Answer 2

I don't know that I have a real philosophy. I try to treat them with the respect I would any other person and put their needs above whatever parenting trend is popular today. I think the best explanation can be found in my source site.

Answer 3

Children will display the treatment they receive. If you give them respect, interest and time they will reflect that. If they are subjected to controlling, dismissivness and disrespect then it will show. I have an absolute delight of a teenager to back up this philosophy.

Answer 4

Our parenting philosophy is to make sure our kids have lots of nurturing, love and affection, are exposed to all types of child-enriched environments, are taught respect and to respect others, have a love of people and learning and enjoy their life.
We give them freedom and boundaries with limits and want them to be loving, happy kids.
Plus we never hit. That is why they are so well behaved. They want to do what is good and right, not to be scared into behaving.
That's us.

Answer 5

i imagine you should basically ask them they could no longer even comprehend that a lot. inspite of the indisputable fact that what they do comprehend they ought to keen percentage with you in case you ask for it. Any reliable adoptive figure might want to objective this each and every time their newborn needs to understand extra. considering that your mom and father have continually been open about your adoption i don't think of they could have any severe situation you eager to understand extra or sharing what they do have.

Answer 6

My child grew up already.
I just tried to instill in him that he is loved, and special to those who love him, and that he always has us, no matter what.
He turned out GREAT! (if i may say so myself)

Enjoy this time , --these are the good old days!

Answer 7

that everyday is another chance to learn something new. everywhere we go we teach our son about the world, about people, about manners, science, religion ect. I don't believe is passivle y sitting by and letting kids raise themselves!!

Answer 8

Whatever I do today ( or any other day) could affect him and the person he becomes. What I do today, may affect the rest of his life.

Answer 9

Keep a hickory always close by.