What do you do when you have screwed up badly with women and feel like you have no chance left?

Question

I feel like I have really hit rock bottom when it comes to trying to meet women, and I feel so stupid about what I have recently done. I found a girl I really wanted and thought she liked me back, but I let her walk away without asking her out. Then, like a retard, I found her myspace page by accident and sent her a message full of this stupid psychological crap I got from some online mens dating guide that was supposed to make her feel attracted to me.
Needless to say, it didn't work, and I even tried the same thing on other girls on myspace and all I got back were hateful replys, not what that stupid dating guide lead me to believe would happen. I have since deleted my account from that stupid website and my self-esteem is crushed. All this because I was too afraid to be myself and approach girls in real life. I don't know how I can approach girls I see and talk to them now. I mean, how the hell can I get dates with real girls if I couldn't even get one with on-line dating?

Answer 1

I think you know the answer to your own question... Ditch the dating site and don't use "psychological crap" dating advice, especially on girls you like. We can usually tell if you're being genuine or if it's something you picked up somewhere. Try to supress your fear of talking to and meeting girls face to face and most importantly, be yourself. You want to find someone who cares for, loves and appreciates the real you and you're not going to find that unless you're real with women. You can only be afraid so long... you don't want to be scared of women or lonely for the rest of your life do you?

Answer 2

You don't say how old you are and I think that has a lot to do with the way you are approaching women and what you expect in return. I recently had a discussion with two men. They were surprised to hear that I would prefer a man telling me that I am intelligent, rather than I am pretty. Personally, I prefer a man who values me for my personality and intellect more than my looks.
They were very surprised! Whether you can believe this or not, a REAL LADY wants a man who will be himself and let her be herself; no lies, no come-ons, no fraudulent expectations. And, if you cannot be yourself in the presence of the woman, then she is not a true person and not worth your time. So, whatever age you are, pick yourself up by the boot straps, look yourself in the mirror, slap yourself (gently) in the face a couple of times, tell yourself you are good person and deserve someone just as wonderful. Go out with no expectations; go out to just have fun; be natural; be yourself. (Fake personalities, backgrounds, etc. can be extremely difficult to maintain!)
When the real you is accepted by someone, and vice versa, THAT makes for a good relationship.
Oh, yes "P.S." - even though I have used on-line dating MANY times and have had some fun dates, I would strongly suggest NOT to go that route! Meeting the person in-person, in an environment in which you both share something in common (that would be why you were there in the first place), is extremely better than risking what people show you and say to you on-line. Best of luck!

Answer 3

Believe it or not, online dating can actually be harder than real-life. There aren't visual or body cues, or intonation, or really anything like that and it is easy to unintentionally send the wrong signal.

I know what it's like to feel like you've hit rock bottom--but trust me, it's never as bad as it seems. You can't have screwed up so badly that you have no chance--remember there are over 3 billion(Billion! With a B!) women out there. You're bound to find one sooner or later.

For the immediate future, it sounds like you just need to work on your self confidence. You are too hung up on what women think about you, and you are too scared of being rejected. It's tough to do, but you're just going to have to man-up and go talk to some girls. Just be yourself. The worst that is going to happen is that they're not interested--but even then you might make a new friend. You gotta just keep trying and see that the consequences of rejection aren't that bad. That's really the trick for guys who get all the girls--even the best strike out more than they connect, but they're willing to keep trying. Finally, ditch the dating guides. Just be sincere--that's all you need, and that's all women really want. You can't build a relationship when you start it off trying to be someone you're not.

It'll come together for you man, just believe in yourself and don't worry about what anyone else thinks--you have to be confident in who you are and what you have to offer.

Answer 4

Try being yourself. Women hate it when men spew pickup lines at them. Don't get dating tips from some "guide", what works for some may not work for others, find what works for you. If you are being fake then probably these women can see right through it. The best advice I can give is be yourself, you want someone to like you for who you are right? If you have to pretend you're something your not just to get a girl interested in you, how long can you keep it up? Eventually your true self will come through anyway and then where will you be? Just be true to yourself and be who you are and when the time is right you will find that someone who will like you for who you are and you can be comfortable and just be yourself. Love is not a game, don't be a player.

Answer 5

On-line dating, in general, is a waste of your time. The best way to meet women is to get actively and personally involved in activities that YOU are interested. This will bring you in contact with like-minded people, and increase your chances of meeting someone that you share something in common with. Only you can figure out what you are interested in, but whatever it is I can assure you that there are classes, clubs, and organizations out there that you can get involved with. You can even volunteer for charity or at a school or hospital. All you are going to meet online are desperate people. I doubt that is what you really want.

That said, if you cannot figure out how to approach a girl without chasing her away with psychological babble that insults her intelligence, then I recommend getting some counseling. You sound like you have some self-esteem problems, and that is not going to make you look good for the ladies. Ask your doctor about this and have them recommend you to someone who can help you out. It is likely your best option! Good luck!

Answer 6

Slow down TIGER. Take it to a walking pace. Now, take a deep breath, and let it out. Tell yourself, "There's nothing wrong with me. I was just using the wrong technique for my style." Now, take some time off girl-hunting. Go out and beat your chest for a while, hang with the guys. Then when you feel better, come back down to earth. Take another deep breath and let it out. Now you are ready to hone your skills. Just relax, be yourself, naturally, not someone you think you need to be to impress a girl. Be honest, tell her the truth. BUT MOST OF ALL, look her in the eyes when she talks to you and listen. You'll do fine Grasshopper. Class, dismissed.

Answer 7

As cheesy as it sounds, it IS best to be yourself. When you are feeling shy, nerdy, or even stupid-- let the girl know that. Believe it or not, girls will find some of your true attributes to be very attractive. Let your quirks be your strength!

Answer 8

Don't trust everything you read on the enternet. Start out by asking her to a friendly date like go out to lunch or something, then if it works between you, go for something a little more serious, like a movie, etc. Go from there and good luck.

Answer 9

What you do is give yourself time. You listen to some kick *** songs to get your self happy. You take a vacation. You have fun. You do whatever you have to do. Make yourself happy. Mrs.Right will blow in when you least expect it. You'll look at her and just know.

Answer 10

ooooo boy ur in bad shape