I've been dating this guy who we'll call SAM for going on two years. After the hurricane his house was distroyed so I let him come stay with me. Now he expects me to do all the house work and repairs to my home as well as pay all the bills, while he saves his, I don't feel this is fair and have told him so but he still refuses to help out So how do I make him see the errer of his ways?
2007-06-14 10:40:07 · 13 answers · asked by bayoubaby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him. Ask him to start helping with the bills and around the house. Wait, you said you already did this.
If he can't do this, then suggest he move.
I am sure he knows he is doing this, but if you keep doing everything why should he change? He had something bad happen and you helped him out. He needs to start helping out too. It's up to you to decise how long you want to put up with this.
Perhaps giving him an ultimatum. Give him a certain amount of time and if he can't do what needs to be done by then, then he needs to go.
2007-06-14 10:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by *Rumer*Severin* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well chicky, if you are feeling used and unappreciated... then dump him. No one deserves to feel stepped on and i hate seeing and hearing about that happening to people. If he can not see the mistake he has made, then kick him out. He is an adult and should be able to take care of himself, you are not his mother and you shouldn't have to take care of him, he is not a child, nor is he a baby. You deserve better and you don't deserve to be his slave. If he will not change, and you see no difference in the way he acts... then leave him. Every relationship takes two people standing with eachother walking the road of life, not one person carrying the other. People like to be cared for and like to be pampered, but in this case, he should of woken up from his dream and jumped back into reality and should be assisting you in the daily chores and other work.
2007-06-14 17:50:58 · answer #2 · answered by cait 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to "show someone the light". That is commonsense that if you are staying in SOMEONE else's house, you do your part. But, you can't blame him - You ALLOW him to stay in your house. The only way to fix this situation is to tell him: Get up and help or GET OUT! It's that simple. And, why would you date a man like this for TWO YEARS! You deserve so much better! I wish you could see that......
2007-06-14 17:44:30 · answer #3 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being taken advantage of and it sounds like you really want it to stop. You may lose him but, honey, it may be worth it not only for financial reasons but your own self esteem. No one can take advantage of us unless we let them.
Go over your bills with him. Tell him how much you expect him to contribute each month. Tell him which jobs around the house you expect him to take care of. Tell him this is a partnership and he needs to do his part.
If he refuses, give him notice to leave. Hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-06-14 17:44:33 · answer #4 · answered by LadyG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had a very similar situation. I finally got up my courage and told him that we could still be friends but he had to go find somewhere else to live. He actually found a vacant garage to live in for free and all he had to do was yard maintenance. It was a relief to have my life back and piece of mind once he was gone. So worth it. Good luck.
2007-06-14 17:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him its time to move on. That you can't afford it emotionally or economically either.
If this doesn't wake him up, you might want to move on....and move him out.
I would suggest telling him the bills need to be spit down the middle along with the housework and repairs.....
This will tell you if he is using you....he will either move on or help out.
Balls in your court.
Best wishes
2007-06-14 17:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being demanding that he do certain things for you and if he does not then set a date for him to leave.
Stick to what you expect from him and accept nothing less. Make him respect you.
2007-06-14 17:53:43 · answer #7 · answered by anosey1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You make it clear that he either helps out, or finds some place else to live.
Get some backbone...nobody can use you unless you allow it.
Good luck!
2007-06-14 17:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A firm talking to on how unhappy the situation is making you... sorry but good luck
2007-06-14 17:43:21 · answer #9 · answered by angijd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that it isn't working the way it is. Either he helps out or find someone that will
2007-06-14 17:43:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jeannine K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋