Will men be put off by my bipolar?

Question

I'm considered pretty and attractive, I'm smart with a good sense of humour and I am good natured/honest. I'm just about holding down a university degree. The problem? Bipolar. I rapid cycle; about 3 times a year I get in an often severe depression that lasts for a few weeks a time. My highs are nipped in the bud with olanzapine. I'm not violent and I don't take drugs, I'm compliant with my meds and I don't take my problems out on other people. I just get very down every now and then where I take to my bed (I've never attempted suicide) and if I feel myself getting high I take my meds. I can just get very hype - the usual bipolar stuff.I also have very bad dyspraxia and mild Aspergers with a very dysfunctional family. I don't know if any man will ever take me on because of this. I have friends etc but I'm to afraid to start dating because I don't feel any man would be prepared to take me on. There is just so much stigma and they will think I have too much baggage. I don't know what to

Answer 1

You're not doomed to the single life just because you're bipolar. Any guy worth being with will love you despite your illness. As long as you're getting the proper treatment and he knows what to expect and what to watch for, it's not a problem. Don't go around advertising your illness, but when the time comes, let the guy know and if he really cares about you, it won't change anything.

Answer 2

It also depends on the maturity level of the guy. To be honest, the guy is going to have to have some mental toughness and alot of compassion. If the guy is in his 20's generally he will not have the patience for these issues. Again, I think the maturity level plays a big part in this. One thing is for sure, speaking as a guy, you call it baggage, but it is also drama (so to speak) from a guys perspective. Don't bring him into the "drama". I'm not saying hide it from him, but he will not want to hear about the family issues and the details in the early part of the relationship. I do believe you need to be honest with him, but it sounds if you are smart and will know the right time to indulge more info.
Your concerns are normal. Keep taking your meds, hopefully you are receiving counselling and discussing these issues with a professional, they know you better than any of us and can give you even better direction. Just stay positive and don't dwell on the negative. I am sure it is difficult but you will eventually find someone who enjoys you for who you are.

Answer 3

Honey, every one has some kind of "baggage". If I were in your situation, I wouldn't go around announcing I have bi-polar disorder on the first few dates, though. Just like I wouldn't announce I'm a single mom on the first few dates. Let the guy(s) get to know you first, and then if it looks like the relationship may turn into something serious you can tell them about your medical condition. Please, don't let your illness keep you from living a full life. You may or may not find Mr. Right, but way deny yourself the opportunity if that is what you want.

Answer 4

You have to have a master plan for your next bipolar episode. My boyfriend is severely bipolar. His episodes last 2 to 3 weeks and occur about 3 times each year. Since the verbal abuse and constant talking nonstop for days, is more than I can bear, I have a plan in which I stay over at a girlfriend's house during the worst of it.

We discuss his episode in detail once it is over and I learn a little more each time. Like remaining silent as long as possible so as not to upset him any more than he is. If I stay, we get into a shouting match and he wins. I beg him to stop talking and let me sleep, but even if I hide in the bathroom, he takes the doorknob off and tells me I'm not listening to him.

With any new boyfriend, it's best not to tell him too much at first. Just be yourself and have confidence that he can handle your personality during an episode. Talk to him about any questions he will have. Let him ask and learn at his own pace.

I think it's getting more common for people to be bipolar and have disfunctional families.

Answer 5

My wife (of 11 years) is bipolar. As long as you have it under pretty good control and he understands how it works and how to deal with it, all can work out. The two of you just have to discuss how you want to deal with the depressive aspects of the situation. Should he stay away and let you alone until it passes or do you want some interaction to attempt to pull you out quicker. If a guy is really intersted in you as a person, he will not let a little medical problem get in the way of things. Good luck.

Answer 6

You know I think with love and communication, most problems can be overcome. It would seem that you have a pretty good handle on the problem. Honesty and understanding are to be expected from both sides in any relationship. For some bi polar will be the issue, for some it will be extra marital affairs, for some it will be cancer, for some it will be financial stressors, for some it will be sexual frustration or incompatability. I would say as long as both you and the lucky man will put your heart into the relationship, and be willing to be patient with each other and honest with each other, there is no reason why you can't have a wonderfully fulfilling marriage or relationship. It seems as though you are mature enough to be upfront about it, although I wouldnt' bring it up on the first date. There will be challenges for you and whoever the lucky man is. It will take patience on both of your parts. KNow that he will bring in his own luggage as well. Expect to love him in spite of him and allow him to love in you in spite of you.

In the immortal words of Joe Pesci as Simon Wilder to Brendan Fraser as Monty in With Honors (great movie highly recommended)

Simon Wilder: Women. Ain't they perfect?
Monty: Not always.
Simon Wilder: Yes, they are, they're perfect. Don't matter if they're skinny, fat, blond or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect.

Answer 7

I have a friend who is bipolar and she is doing great in life. She somehow manages those times when the "attack" occurs. Just surround yourself with good and trustworthy friends.

Answer 8

I think those disorders are super sexy, but that's just me