My crazy exBF is stalking me, Restraing order doesnt work !?

Question

I just have to vent. I am in my early 30s and had to move 100 miles away from my exBF.
This guy is now engage dto another woman & still stalking me.
We dated for 6 years and he only turned psycho/controlling for last 2 years.
When he hit, slapped, grabbed my throat I left.
I moved 6 months ago and he has spent much time finding me and harassing me.
I have gone thru much of my savings to move and hide from him.
He has found me again even though there are 2 ROs against him. His family protects him so he thinks he can do anything.
Last night he sent me 30 texts and 10 emails on myspace.
He called me a slut (mind you i have slept with him & one other guy only) he said I judas and that I have reap what Ive sown.
Should I move further away ? My family was dumb and told him where I currently live. He is MENSA bright & just wont stop saying how much he hates me & wishes me harm.
I have about 175k left over in savings. Should I just go rent someplace veyr far away & start over ?

Also the scariest thing he said to him is 'he knows no fear, and if i go to police he will feel even more Vengeful towards me and doesn tknow what hes capable of'
I have saved all the screeshots of his emails to an offline server.
He says I ahve already mortally wounded him by abandoning him and I am the Wh0re of Babylon. (did i also mention he is ultra religious?)

Answer 1

Glock 9.

Answer 2

I've had to get a restraining order served before. It's a pain. But it's worth it. Make sure you document EVERYTHING. If you is leaving threats on Myspace, print them all out. Start a file and keep evidence of everything he does. If he has violated the restraining order that is a punishable offense, which means that he goes to jail. MENSA or not, he will do hard time if he violates a judge's order to leave you alone. Get another restraining order if the ones you have apply to other states before doing anything like moving. Notify the police that he has stated that he wishes you harm. This may constitute threatening which is illegal in most states.

I would also 1) buy a guard dog if you don't already have one. 2) take self defense classes, 3) buy a gun, and 4) tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone you will send his fiance and family copies of all the threats and emails he has been sending you. Keep in mind that a warning like that may also further provoke him, so be prepared for retaliation.

You should not have to keep running though. Take this to the police as it is not unreasonable to believe that this will end up very badly for you if you don't do something about it.

Btw, changing your name and moving won't change anything. It might slow him down, but he will find you. My job is to find people that generally don't want to be found, and it's fairly easy. There are records available that show that you have changed your name and moved. You need to confront this schmuck with the police, and arm yourself/get an attack dog once you do.

Answer 3

I know this sucks for you, but it also sounds a litte too much like you are playing the victim after screwing up. How does he get your myspace? Why haven't you changed your cell phone number? How doesn't your family realize that your life could be in danger? Are you documenting all of the text-messages, voice mails and other contact? Are you contacting the police and the Myspace administrator?

You have done a crappy job of getting away from him. Not only that, but 175K is more money than most will see in their lifetime. You have the money to get away. Make the effort to move without anyone knowing and only get an apartment at first to see if he finds you. Then, buy the house once you are comfortable. Change banks, cell carriers and all other things that he may be able to trace. Tell your family to shut their big pie-holes or the next place you move to, they will not be trusted with the address or even the town.

DO SOMETHING AND QUIT PLAYING THE HELPLESS VICTIM.

Answer 4

Sweetheart, if you have two retraining orders against him and he's texting you and contacting you via the internet and making threats, call the police. If those threats are in writing, call the police, if he shows up anywhere around you, dial 911, tell them his name, what make, model and year and color of the car he's driving. Tell them that there are 2 RO's against him and that you have moved several times to get away from him. Tell your family that this person wants to harm you and they should not, by any means, be giving your address or phone number to anyone, at all. Period!
You have a right to live your life, free from anyone that wishes you harm, that's why RO's are issued. Take advantage of the law. Do not let this jerk ruin your life and your happiness.

Another thing that you can do is go to the local police station, ask to speak with the patrol commander and with the detective division, let them know what is happening. In light of what has been going on in this Country and in every state in the Union, it is their duty to help you and protect you.
If you do that and they give you a hard time, contact me and let me know which department is foolish enough to let this happen. I will do my best to make sure that they are brought up on charges. That's a promise. Getting a firearm is a good idea, if you know how to use it, a BAD idea if you don't. If you have that kind of money saved up, you can afford some lessons, I recomend a .45 ACP pistol, a good one with some Cor-Bon ammo and some Glazer Safety Slugs. They won't penetrate walls and will do him in in good order. You have the right to defend yourself. I realize that this is somewhat long but please take heed. If you do decide to arm yourself after you've been sufficiently trained and know how to use that firearm. You must learn when to use it and how.
If he should break into your house, always have your cell phone on your person, if you are elsewhere in the home, go to the bathroom or your bedroom, barracade yourself in there, immidiately dial 911, tell them you have and intruder and you have a gun, stay on the phone. If he breaks into the room, shoot him, shoot the sucker dead!! He won't be able to sue you and you did everything the right way. Good luck,
Rick

Answer 5

No matter how far you move, this guy is intelligent enough and crazy enough to find you. You would have to cut all ties and completely change your name and identity to throw him off, and there's no point in sacrificing your life.
Instead of running away, you need to stand firm and let him know that threats against you won't be tolerated. Document everything he does when he does it - save copies of every text and email and write up a report of every phone call and meeting. Go to your local police and give them the full history of your restraining orders, and how he has violated those restrictions since then. Stress to the police that you are deeply afraid for your life, and want to take further legal action against your ex.
Don't give this guy any fuel for his fire - don't return his messages, and when you speak to him, do so only to firmly remind him that his is violating his restraining orders and you will be alerting the police immediately; then hang up without waiting for a response.
Send a copy of all your reports of his behavior to your family, so they appreciate the extent of his behavior... and send a copy to his fiancee as well, so she knows what sort of psycho she is marrying. That will probably piss him off royally, so it might not be a good idea, but consider it.
Also, consider making your case public - present the facts, not your opinions, to the public at large. If everyone knows about his threats, he's less likely to act on them because there is so much attention and evidence focused on him.

Answer 6

Don't run from your problem. That is were alot of people screw up. Call the cops he is harassing and threatening you. I bet if you call the cops and tell them hes stalking, harassing, and threatening you his *** will be off to jail. Exceptionally with 2 ROs. Don't be afraid and just call the cops. Also that wasn't very smart for your parents to tell him were you are. Like I said call the cops. Don't be afraid of him hurting you if you do too, because he won't. Put him behind bars were he belongs. Oh, and also buy a gun. It is not illegal or sinning to kill someone out of self defense. Though shalt not kill. That also means not to let yourself to get killed. It even explains that in the older bibles, but the shortened it up creating alot of confusion making people think they can't kill anyone even out of self defense, but that is not true. Call the cops before anything like that can happen though. Oh, ya almost forgot if you are completely against guns then get some pepper spray or a tazer, or both. Carry them with you at all times (and obviously make sure you know how to correctly use them).
Good Luck and all the best.

Answer 7

Since you have a ppo order against him he's not aloud to have any type of contact with you. save those txt messages and emails they are evidence that he's harrassing you. take a copy of your ppo to the local police department show them the evidence and see if you can get a judge to issue a warrant for violating the ppo order. Its not that it doesn't work, its that you've got to have evidence (which you do) and you need to go the police to make it work. Then keep your doors locked or your cellphone/pepper spray ready when your out and about. And call the police if you see him or he engages you. And for the love of God please tell your family the worst thing they could do is tell this guy where you are.

Answer 8

Wow! I think that you should go to the police and tell them exactly what is happening, tell them that the RO are not working and that they better do something against him. You should't have to move because of him, that's no way to be living life. I am pretty sure that if you show the cops the texts and e-mails they'll be able to do more than just giving him ROs.

Best of Lucks!

Answer 9

Are the police helping you? I'm no expert, but...

You need to stand up to him. Backed by police and very big friends. The best defense is a good offense. Make him fear you! Stop running. Make him know you don't fear him. If you're running, he's still controlling you. Your fear is the only thing he can hold on to. Make him fear you. Take some self defense classes.

Answer 10

there is a lot incorrect right here, i do no longer know the place to initiate. No,he's no longer too previous.i could say that he isprobably mentally unbalance or a minimum of immature. you recognize the type you recognize that? because of the fact he's courting somebody who's additionally somewhat immature. No, he's no longer stalking you. you're allowing him into your existence via giving in to his demands and leting him bully you emotionally into doing what he needs you to do. My ultimate suggestion is which you stop chatting with him, stop seeing him, stop even examining his emails and merely merely circulate on with your existence. the only reason he's being this type of pest is considering which you're letting him be a pest.

Answer 11

check your restraining order and see if it sepcifies no contact. The order wont stop him , what its for is it gives the police the right to arrest him at once if the order is breached.

Save the emails and contact the police . The restraining order may be enough or some states have stalker laws.

Good luck.