what will i say to him to make him understand??

Question

i recently found porn em dvds in the house from my boyfriend, i know its normal etc certa but when i first went out with him 4 yrs ago he knows how much i hate them, i feel demeaned and insulted and hurt that his using them. he knows all of this but he still continues to use it ruins our relationship and he just laughs at it , i dont feel like having sex with him at all, he says im not giving him enough, fair enough (if he cant control his bloody dick well how on earth do i know to trust him after all men do think with their *****) and im not the one happy wanking and his not the one finding porn about and feeling hurt, i need to find a way to explain to him like sex in the city 'it either me or them!!(the big booby fake sex women on screen).please only woman ans only, and no crap that im not pleasin him enough that not the point its the stupid porn i found and im very angry and anoyed and hurt to find that kinda crap...........it totally turns me off wanting to have sex like

Answer 1

I'm a male but I know better then a lady whats going on. The fact is porn satisfy's a man's sense of social pride better then it does a female. It can help their personal pride but the way society sets up the different sex roles, men get more out of sexual conquest then women. Just the way it is. Porn becomes a way a man can have power over this aspect. It becomes a crutch for not only the social ego, but in time the personal ego to. This causes alot of the time a seperation between sex and love. That one isn't the other or that one can't be satisfied by the other. In other words baby girl he isn't making love to you, he isn't mature enough, your getting f'd. Its true he doesn't satisfy himself with you and the porn is a big indicator of that. It doesn't mean you suck in the sack at all and just means he sucks at satisfy himself with you. This is commonly due to his own ego related fantasies. Yes he does love you understand that love isn't a magical special thing, its want we do with it, and for him it could be more a matter of you satisfing his want of relationship when in all actuality he needs a better relationship with himself. Or lets just simplify this, he watches the porn because it satifies his fantasy's, you don't. Its a childish thing to do to try and make reality your fantasies, so understand you've made a grave mistake with this fella. That chances are outside your romance their isn't much of a friendship, just to strangers in love not knowing what to do for each other or themselves. Understand also the reason its so rapid in our society is that we accept that we'll get into relationships that don't satisfy us. That it is the status quo to be in relationship that doesn't met your goals, expectations, or even the reality you see fit. Now ask yourself is this what you want? Because he already descided thats what he wants. This goes deeper then sexual satisfaction right into the realm of purpose and god. And I'm not religious but for a boy to become a man he must have purpose. Now what purpose do you think he has? So the only thing your left with saying to this fella is "I understand that porn does nothing more then satisfy your own personal fantasies about how you would won't a women to be, now if you've got a heart in your chest, answer me this, why does satisfy you mean so much more to you then satisfing me? And why can't you be satisfied with me?" You won't get an answer thou, understand if he knew what he was doing, he wouldn't do it anymore. Its about maintaining the world view, that sex is casual and is met to be that way, inocent and unhurting.... when what your after is intensity, meaning, and love, something the sex he wants doesn't have....