My wife was diagnosed with M.D.D. (major depression disorder) 6 years ago. Since then she has been cutting. And lately it's getting worse. She really wants to stop and is seeing a doctor. Also, right now she can't take meds cuz she just found out she was pregnant. How can I help her stop?
2007-06-14 07:31:02 · 14 answers · asked by daritarian 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
First of all, congratulations on being pregnant!
It sounds like your wife really does want to stop self-harming but doesn't know what to do. Just so you know, there are several antidepressants that have been approved by women to take while pregnant. She should talk to her doctor about these options.
Other than medication, your wife needs to find alternative coping skills. People, when depressed, tend to only see what they know what works as options. They don't want to try anything else. It is hard and a struggle to find the motivation to do something new as a coping skill. I would suggest visiting the website below. It's got a lot of information on self-injury plus some ideas of coping skills.
What I would suggest would be to encourage your wife to start keeping a journal. Help her find out what might trigger her cutting. Be patient. In the meantime, remind your wife of options she has other than cutting. Give her an ice cube to hold in her hand until it melts. Have her do something physical (you probably will want to check with your doctor first to find out what is safe).
I have self-harmed on and off for about 15 years, although I haven't done anything for about 8 months. My husband went from trying to stop me to realizing that it's not in his control. I had to stop myself. I have been in therapy on and off for about 6 years. I have been very introspective and have been open to discover what's going on and why I self-harm. This is hard for some people though, I'm not sure how easy it would be for your wife. What finally worked for me was a) realizing how much my self-harm was hurting my husband and that my apologies were starting to not mean anything because I continued to do it, b) getting a red sharpie and "slashing" myself when I felt like hurting myself, c) talking. If you notice that your wife is going to cut, try to get her to talk. It is like pulling teeth sometimes to get me to talk to my husband, but that's something that I have to make myself do.
Also suggest to your wife to start therapy. She can then explore her issues in a safe environment, but you have to be supportive because she will come home vulerable and fragile from these visits. It's very hard to open up for an hour then have to close up. It doesn't work that way.
I wish your wife luck with this. And again, congrats!
2007-06-14 12:17:45 · answer #1 · answered by kaliluna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK..there is a flag here! Worsening of cutting could be a clue to worsening depression. Please call her doctor and discuss this. Also, there are many medications that are safe to take once she is past the first trimester, especially if the risk to mom and baby is greater than the risk of the drug.
For example, seizure disorder patients stay on meds during pregnancy as this is serious and seizures could result in death.
Why should your wife be any different? She deserves the same consideration. I would agree that she also needs supportive counseling right now in addition to a psychiatrist for medical management.
Good luck
2007-06-14 07:45:34 · answer #2 · answered by blondie9916 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cutting is a symptom of a bigger problem. Mine is borderline personality disorder. I hope your wife is happy with her doctor, and he/she has made the proper diagnose (s). May I suggest when she feels the urge to cut, you get a small sandwich bag of ice for her to put in the place where she feels the urge to cut. Also, she can use a red marker to make "cuts" on the places she has the urge. Congrats on the upcoming baby and just be there for her! Good Luck..
2007-06-14 11:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by Dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your a wonderful man to want to help your wife. The only thing that you can do to help her is to be supportive and to be a positive influence in her life. Try to keep her staying positively focused on the new life that you have created together. I am sure that you can not be with her 24/7, but the time that you do have together, try to stay busy with fun activities (either go out or do stuff at home). Try different board games, have one night a week be movie night, go for a walk around the block, go to the park, etc.
I was never a cutter, but I was severely depressed for many years and these are the things that my husband did for me. Now, these are things that we do on a regular basis with our children.
Good luck!!
2007-06-14 07:43:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister had the same problem, minus the pregnancy. Her doctor recommended weaning. He suggested another less invasive form of self-mut. Hair-pulling or scratching an inconspicuous area. Try to keep a log for her, because she is probably not focused enough. Be supportive so that she will be honest with you. Recognize triggers and write them down. Avoid these things. Check the log to see if it's getting better and share it with her doctor. The key here is total honesty.
2007-06-14 07:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by WNC 4* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are a blessing and all, but it was a horrible choice for you all to conceive, especially with her MDD and cutting. Did neither of you think that having a baby and then possible postpartum depression afterward would only add to what is going on? Anyway... Does she have other female family or friends that she could talk to, is she seeing a counselor or therapist? What is the reasoning for her cutting? I was once a depressed cutter as well. I tried the medication thing, but no help there. I realized that I had to go back to square one which is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.. I really had to look within and realize that I was created for a reason. She can get back to the great woman that I'm sure she is.. she just needs to know that she has a lot of support and that she was created to exist in this world.
2007-06-14 07:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by Shay 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
My son stopped with therapy and with distraction.
Every time he felt like cutting, he would get up and DO something, even if it was just run around the block. The urge DOES eventually leave. He also carried rubber bands in his pocket and would snap himself with the rubber band. It caused the pain stimulus he was looking for (subconsciously) without causing physical damage. Finding others who sympathized was a huge help as well, so support groups are recommended. Her doctor should be able to help with that.
I wish you luck. I hope your wife recovers soon. Good luck with your new little one.
2007-06-14 07:36:52 · answer #7 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since she has such a case of depression.........AND is pregnant, doesn't the doctor have any suggestions as to speaking to a therapist about her cutting? If a therapist can convice her how she is responsible for her new baby's life, inside her body, she might find it easier to stop cutting. Oh, I do hope she gets better.
2007-06-14 07:37:32 · answer #8 · answered by laurel g 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seeing as how your wife is under the care of a doctor your best bet would be to make an appointment with him and seek his advice. They are always open to families that need help with the education of a loved one in their care. Best of luck to you and your wife.
2007-06-14 07:41:09 · answer #9 · answered by DONNA L B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray... find a good counselor that she can speak with.. not a shrink but a mentor (your local church may have someone that would be willing to speak with her weekly, someone that will listen to what she is going through and why she harms herself).. Someone who is not going to just put her on the latest drug, but someone who is going to dig deep and find out the real reason she wants to self harm.. Good Luck!! Congrats on your baby...it will all work out she is lucky to have someone who loves her like you obvously do.
2007-06-14 07:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by Nicole B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋