Premarital sex and societal constructions?

Question

Okay Christians, what is your view on premarital sex?

I know, most are against it, but why? The Bible urges us to flee from fornication, but how do you define fornication? Do you know the root Greek words and have drawn your conclusion from that? Or do you listen to Christian tradition and legalism?

Also, assuming that the Bible does take the "no sex before marriage" claim, then what about the different views of marriage from different cultures? In Bible times a lot of marriages were arranged, the ceremonies were different, etc? Why is it that in our culture today we assume that a slip of paper saying that the government acknowledges our union is seen as a pass to have as much sex as you want? Such is a construction of society, not church?

Christians seem to be defined these days as being vehemently against premarital sex, and I am curious to see why you believe it is so wrong.

Answer 1

Thank you so much for asking this, because I've often wondered it myself. It makes no sense that sex is sinful one moment, but if you wear a white dress and say some vows, it instantly becomes okay. I believe cultures make these rules to control female sexuality. Men worry that women will get pregnant from other men's children, so they have all these rules to prevent that. Most people don't apply these same rules to men, because men wrote the rules in the first place.

Answer 2

Don't take this wrong, but I'm sure you know what sexual immorality is, so we'll answer concerning marriage requirements.

Yes there are different cultures and manners.
In the Bible times, the women simply had to start living with the man and they were considered married.
They were considered marriage while dating, once the proposal was accepted. She could move in anything after she agreed to a life with him.
But there would still be some sort of ceremony at some point, and at times, a legal registration.

Different ceremonies still had the same purpose, usually to instruct the couple on marriage, love and obligation to each other and God. And to acknowledge their promise to each other in front of witnesses.

Answer 3

Fornication is sex outside of marriage.

The church doesn't recognize a civil service.

I have been reading the papal encyclical called Deus Caritas Est - God is Love.

In it, B16 defines the difference between "eros" and "agape."

Fantastic stuff.

The big issue is, sex is easy. We can have sex with people we don't like. This way we exploit one another.

That's not love. That's little more than a game of tennis or 20 minutes on the stairmaster.

Sex is something you should - key word should - be doing with someone you deeply love. If you love them that deeply you should - again, key word should - be willing to commit your whole life to them.

These days people want to swap partners like they swap the colorful color sleeves on their iPods. So they don't want to commit.

So too, sex gives us the idea of fantastic things. Sex kicks off chemical reactions in our brains. The actual chemical reaction of being "in love" lasts for about 6 months.

Too many people meet up, have sex, get a civil service, then divorce within the year.

The idea of going through a church and sitting in classes learning how to be a good couple takes that full on 6 months where your chemical reaction may fade.

Take this friend of mine. He married the wrong girl because they have great sex. He's miserable. So miserable he doesn't even want to have sex any more. The funny part is, he thinks he should stay married because he's catholic. Well, if he really were catholic they wouldn't have had premarital sex and he wouldn't be in this situation.

oy vey.

Answer 4

Ok, the Greek word for fornication is por·nei′a. (Pronounced: por-nee-ya)

Definition: Porneia as used in the Scriptures describes any illicit sexual activity outside of the divine bounds established by marriage and thus includes the ideas of unlawful sexual intercourse, unchastity and fornication.

Porneia is and translated as: fornication, fornications, immoralities, immorality, sexual immorality, unchastity.

You can read more about it in the link I've provided.

The term “fornication” (the Greek word por·nei′a) includes all forms of illicit sexual relations outside of Scriptural marriage. (Additionally, it's sometimes applied to adultery.) It also refers to all illicit sexual activity involving the use of the genital organs carried on outside the bonds of marriage. That would include oral sex and the deliberate fondling of sexual organs.

"Why is it that in our culture today we assume that a slip of paper saying that the government acknowledges our union is seen as a pass to have as much sex as you want?" When a person marries, they're taking a vow before the government and God. When it's legal in the eyes of the government (and you're holding that "slip of paper") it's also legal in God's eyes. You've now become "one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) Therefore, you're now lawfully (and morally) able to have sexual relations with your mate.

Hope I've helped.

Rachel B

Answer 5

My personal view is that sex is something sacred and intimate that shouldn't be taken lightly. So while I can understand why it is seen by the Catholic church as being reserved for marriage, I tend to think more along the lines of it being for a mature, stable, committed relationship. No one night stands, no "third date home runs," no "friends with benefits" - something that is a deeper connection that simply dealing with a sexual urge.

Answer 6

Ironic that people would marry to do something that women won't do after they marry.

LoL risk of low self worth because of premarital sex?

Somehow nailing a hottie has never resulted in that problem. Maybe if you get drunk and take a fugly home...

Answer 7

I believe that premarital sex is unwise.

Not because the Bible says so. Because science and medicine say so.

For one of the many reasons why it is unwise, read the link below.

Answer 8

Also, in those days, women were essentially property.

See, the men wanted to make sure the kids they bore were *their* kids, so they had to pay for their brides, and they only wanted to buy virgins.

Hence the emphasis on virginity.

Note that only women were considered spoiled if they weren't virgins. Men could do whatever they wanted (and often did--remember how many wives and concubines King Solomon had?).

Answer 9

This is why I think premarital sex can be a bad idea: risk of becoming pregnant, risk of STD, and risk of a low self-worth. I must say, though, that I like Graciela and Monica's answers.

Answer 10

Interesting question