what's an appropriate discipline for a teen sneeking out of the house after midnight for a couple hours?

Answer 1

let him sneek out again and lock all the windows and doors before he comes home. Then ground him from absolutely everything for a month- while he's grounded, have him write an essay on the dangers of sneeking out of the house without his parent's permission!!!When I was a teenager my dad used to make me write stuff like that, and i never made the same mistake twice.

Answer 2

#1 secure the window.
#2 may no longer hang out with the person s/he was going to see
#3 Grounding. When I was a teen this involved removal of anything involving electricity or battery power. No phones... No TV.. No VCR to record missed shows.. No computer.. No Cd's...No cell phone...no going out at all... Nothing. Only books and schoolwork.

To make a large impact, grounding for about a month sounds right. If s/he has any pages on myspace or stuff like that you may want to take it down.

When you do give her/him priviledges again make her/him earn them back one by one. S/he will have to understand s/he broke a major trust. Explain to her/him that even after grounding is over s/he will have to earn your trust back slowly and that you will be watching her/him VERY closely for at least a few more months beyond that.

Answer 3

I think it depends on several things...

Is this a first time thing or has it happened before?

When you discovered it did he/she lie and try to cover it up or admit?

How has he/she been doing otherwise? Do you have constant discipline issues or does he/she have a good track record when it comes to misbehaving?

How are her/his grades?

I would have to take all of the above, and probably more, before I made my final decision.

If my kid has been a pain in the a** over and over then I'd probably hammer him with a loss of privileges and grounding for a while.

If he's been good up until now and this is kind of a "first offense" I might go a little lighter on him in hopes that it won't happen again

weeder

Answer 4

I would make them plant rose bushes outside their window, while I sat back and supervised with an ice cold soda, remove door, nail window shut, take away all the gadgets (cell, ipod, etc.) and lock them in the trunk of the car, whole list for chores (you know the ones you put off because they are icky gutters cleaned, etc) and since they will have so much extra time on their hands (because on no tv and computer) they could write an essay on why they did what they did and spend some quality time sitting on their bed reading.

Answer 5

One of my friends had a problem like this with her teen. To solve it, she took everything out of the teen's room except for her mattress and a blanket to cover up with. Her clothes were picked out for her each day so she didn't get a choice in what she had to wear. She went to school, had to come right back home, and go straight to her room for a month. My friend took away all of her teen's choices, luxuries, and enjoyments to make her understand that it is not ok to sneek out of the house. Since she did not make a wise choice, she got all of her choices taken away.

Answer 6

I would first ground them from whatever it is they absolutely adore for 3 weeks (even if it has nothing to do with sneaking out, for instance their iPod, television their PSP, their xbox, the internet, myspace, cell phone...something like that)
also, the first day they were grounded I would make them write a 2 page essay on what they did and why it was wrong.
After that, TALK to them and tell them how sneaking out did no good, and it will take a while for them to regain your trust...
and then each saturday give them a list of chores to do...
the idea here isn't just to punish them, its to make them go through hardships and realize the consequences when they sneak out, and to ensure they won't do it again.

and the most important thing is: STICK TO YOUR PUNISHMENT. Whatever you decide to do, stick with it, let them know you are serious, don't let them off early....otherwise they will think they can do it over and over again.

Answer 7

No phone no TV no events. Nothing. Sit in your room and think about what yo have done. Not unless they are over 16 then I think you can put them out, if you are strong enough to do it. There's no reason to sneak out if they get to go out already and come back for curfew. Maybe they are hanging out with teens that are older and not have a curfew. It all depends on the age of the teen.

Answer 8

I think that locking the child out of the house at night is a good idea. If you can't find no other way to discipline, just take everything the kid owns away. I know plenty of parents who have done that. Surprisingly it worked for them. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

Find a way to make a natural consequence.

What are the consequences of this behavior? They are tired; you are tired, stressed, worried; you have lost some trust in them; it has cost you money in lost productivity at work, or lost energy at home.

Choose a few of these...

Generate some cost-related consequences:
- Block their access to the Internet, or TV, etc. Explain that because you were so tired and worried, you could not generate enough money to pay for these services for them.
- Sell their car (to one of your friends) 'to help pay for the security system we may have to install, to pay for the medication I will need to stay alert and calm, and to cover lost wages as I worried about you.'
- Sell or pawn something of theirs (actually, yours that they use) to buy a cheap alarm system to put on the doors/windows- not to keep them in, but to provide you with peace of mind that is now so badly rattled.

Generate some 'lost energy' consequences...
- you are too tired from worry to cook their meals (other than a simple PB&J), do their laundry, take them places, etc.


Explain that you love them, but this episode has cost you (not them) a lot of worry, a lot of energy, and their trust. It saddens you, but you don't have the energy to (fill in the blank) for them today... maybe tomorrow... if they help some with various jobs.

Explain how much it saddens you (but NOT that you are sorry- it was NOT your fault) that you HAD to sell their (fill in the blank) to cover the costs of (whatever) so you could feel safe in your home again, and so you could feel like everyone is safe and protected.

You are not angry, sorry, or indifferent. You are sad and tired. A bit disappointed, but willing to let him re-earn some trust and freedom. (BUT DO NOT 'sell' it back to him too cheaply!)

This is based on a program called 'Love and Logic'- a decent discipline program that has a decent track record. you can Google it and find quite a bit of stuff.

Answer 10

First, not being allowed to hang out with the person they snuck out to see.
Second, grounding is in order, a decent amount of it!
Third, curfue would be made earlier, and telling Mom and Dad everywhere they go would be a must.