How do you politely tell another mom her toddler bites you?

Question

I watch a toddler during the day and he bites me and my son when he gets mad or frustrated. I want to talk to her and figure out a solution together but don't know what to say. The thing that makes him bite the most is when he wants a toy my son has. I can't afford to buy two of all toys and don't have the space anyway.

Answer 1

Thats a tough situation to be in! Its HARD when you have to talk to another mother about issues with thier child b/c the moms first instinct is going to be to get defensive!

What I would suggest is that you NOT accuse her child of any wrong doing or approach it in a way that would make her defensive.

Simply say to her, "When your son gets mad he tends to bite. Do you have any ideas on what I can do to help him settle down and not be so mad? How would YOU handle this situation?"

That way she is more inclined to not only listen, but also give you her opinion on the matter!!

I hope that you are able to rectify the situation and that his mommy doesnt BLAME you for his behavior!! Im sure if you approach it in a calm and loving way then you will get the help that you NEED from his mommy!!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Just ask her a question that would imply that you assume she already knows about it, because she probably does. However, my niece only bit at daycare, never at home, so maybe she doesn't know. Just say something like, "has he been biting long?" (in a concerned tone, not accusing). Or, "is there anything specific thing you know of that makes him bite that we can maybe address or focus on?" Or just say, "Some kids only do this at a babysitter, but were you aware that he ...?" Just don't be accusing or belittling like starting out by saying, "if your son continues to bite I won't be able to watch him anymore." Or, "your son's biting is a serious problem." Just take it from a "concerned" stance. Mom's can get VERY offended when they think someone is accusing them of not doing the right thing or "messing up" their children or not doing a good job of parenting.

Answer 3

You just need to tell her with a nice tone of voice. Make sure you are clear for yourself and for her that this is a very normal behavior for a toddler. Not all toddlers do it, but it is certainly not a sign of a bad kid or bad parent. A toddler uses any means necessary to get his way because he is a toddler. The toddler needs a fairly calm consistent response and will stop. Make a plan you both can agree to. Probably he does the same at home and at day care. I don't recomend biting back. Some possibilities to try:
a short immediate time out.
a bite specific consequence (the bite chair or corner)
catching before the bite (my daughter would get a gleam in her eye just before and we learned to catch her before and move her to another activity)
a reward system for not biting. the trick for this with toddlers is to use a short time. a sticker or smiley or m&m for every hour he doesn't bite. That way you can catch him being good.
Good luck. My experience is that with any of these plans the problem is solved in a very short time.

Answer 4

Tell Her You Need To Talk To Her, Sit Her Down And tell Her;

"I Think You Should Know, that For the Past Few Weeks/Days/Months Your Tolder Has been Biting me When he Is Mad or Fustrated. I Don't Want to Cause Offence But He Is Your Son and You Should Know So He Doesnt Do It To Your Or SomeOne Else, Sorry If This has Offended You But You MUST Know"

Answer 5

I would approach her at the end of the day and just say that you have something you want to bring to her attention and xplani that her son is having a hard time sharing toys and he's taking out his anger by biting you and your child. I'm pretty sure she'll understand because he probably acts this way at home or she'll be shocked if he doesn't, but either way she needs to nkow so she can take care of it at home and you can ask her how she'd like you to deal with it in your home.

I nkow when my DD bites we say "no biting, biting hurts mommy/daddy/whoever" and imediately redirect her elsewhere....

Answer 6

You're just going to have to tell her. Let her know the day it happens and phrase it as though it's the first time, and ask if he's been doing it at home. That's a good conversation-starter, and then if it continues it isn't as hard to bring up the subject again.

You shouldn't have to buy two of every toy just because her kid has behavior issues.

Answer 7

Start with "I've been noticing that your son is biting a lot. He often bites when he wants a toy that my son is playing with. Have you noticed him biting? Do you have any suggestions?"

Answer 8

It relies upon. If my new child is at very almost precisely the comparable ingredient and is the comparable age, i could proportion a similar tale if this is lovable and is going alongside with the verbal replace, something like, "Katie's been engaged on her numbers these days, too. they're little sponges at this age!" If my new child have been forward or at the back of of the different new child, i could merely remark with courtesy on how large it particularly is that their new child is doing so nicely.

Answer 9

"I see little Johnny is in the biting stage. I wasn't sure what you do after he bites so I just told him that it wasn't nice. I figured I'd ask you when you got home."

Answer 10

Tell her straight up that her son bites. If you don't, it coud escalate into something worse. If she gets offended, don't worry about it. At least your son wont end up with anymore teeth marks.