My Niece is getting married in a couple of months... My mother, (her grandmother) is a tad unconventional. My mom is not the sterio typical grandmother. She does not want any flowers, to be walked up the isle, and I am now battling with her now about her clothing. The wedding will be in a up scale location and it is after 6 pm. My neice is so worried about this and I took this problem off of her back. My mom is the only living grand mother and my neice is the only girl in the family of all boys. Should my mom wear a gown to this wedding? My neice is not dictating anything specific, buy my mom wants to wear a mini-skirt so the attention will be on her and not the bride!!! Any help will be greatly appreaciated!!!!
2007-06-14 06:08:14 · 18 answers · asked by ncbound 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
ask your mother, how she thinks that the bride would feel if all the attention was taken away from her on HER day...Hopefully just by saying that she will get it
2007-06-14 06:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by B2B2008 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it would help to remind Grandma of her own special day and how she probably wanted everything to be perfect for it. My mother-in-law to be showed up at my wedding (my colors were teal and mint) in a black dress. It truly ruined the pictures and what should have been fond wedding memories. Your mom should definitely wear a gown with an attempt to keep with the color scheme. Maybe a good compromise would be that she wear the appropriate clothing for the wedding and pictures and then she can change for the reception?? I don't know that I would tell her she can't come if she doesn't dress appropriately, that would hurt your niece even more in the long run. If she refuses to dress nice, make sure that she's hidden in the back of all the pictures. No one's going to take their eyes off your niece...the bride is what it's all about!
2007-06-14 06:21:15 · answer #2 · answered by Angela R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She should not wear a mini skirt. No one should be prettier than the bride or trying to grab everyone's attention away from the bride!!! This is totally ridiculous! Tell your mother to dress properly or she will not be allowed to attend the wedding. If she insists, just leave her at home on that day or do something about this. She should stay at home if she is causing too much trouble.
Good luck!
2007-06-17 02:07:42 · answer #3 · answered by Amethyst Cherry W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's an old woman, humor her. Just let her wear whatever she wants. I highly doubt an old woman in a skirt could pull more eyes to her than to the bride. The guests who are all coming appropriatly dressed no doubt have appropriate manners to match and will ignore the faux paus accordingly.
You cannot force someone to wear what they "should" wear. Even though it's not traditional for the grannie to wear a miniskirt, try to focus the attention on the bride and not grandma's clothing. Not including her on the guest list for this reason will be something you'll regret. You only have one grandma and keeping her from her nieces wedding over something so petty is ridiculous. Family comes first no matter what they're wearing. Get over it and focus on something more important. If she died before the wedding you would give anything for her to be there miniskirt or not. Think about what's really important here. Don't be a flake.
2007-06-14 06:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by goturanswer 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A wedding is always the bride's day, no matter how you slice it andthe bride's wishes should be respected within reason. It is reasonable for her to expect appropriate attire among her guests. You could inform your mother that this day is about your niece, not her, and you'd appreciate it if she would respect your niece's preference for that one evening. If she doesn't end up wearing something appropriate, be sure that the photographer gets her picture with other appropriately attired people and, once the wedding album comes out, she can see for herself how much she stands out. Maybe the next nuptial will go smoother. Regardless, you and your niece will have to forgive and (try to) forget if she makes a fashion faux pas and enjoy the celebration anyway.
2007-06-14 06:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by LEW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the brides grandmother should not be wearing a mini skirt to the wedding. If she doesn't want flower, or to be ushered to her seat that is up to her. She will probably feel bad about it later. She doesn't have to wear a gown but a nice dress would be better than a mini skirt. My daughter would flip out if her grandmother did that.
Good Luck and Congrats to the bride.
2007-06-14 06:13:39 · answer #6 · answered by bluebird 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Buy mom a dress, pick her up and do not let her out of your sight the day of the wedding. Make sure she stays in the dress and acts like a respectable granny. You are a sweet aunt to assume this responsibility. And you niece will appriciate it so much if granny has on a nice dress instead of a mini skirt.
2007-06-14 07:46:18 · answer #7 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can insist on a gown, but be prepared then for grandma to either refuse to show up or appear to go along until she shows up in a miniskirt.
You can't control her in this, so your neice has to decide whether she's willing to fight a losing battle or whether she's going to be at peace with this. If it's important to her to have granny there even if she looks ridiculous and deliberately tries to upstage the bride, then she should go ahead and invite her. If she's not willing to have grandma there, she should gird her loins for some family fallout.
Mostly, though, I imagine the fallout for grandma will be greater if she's allowed to show up and make a jackass of herself.
Stop fighting with your mother. It's upsetting you and getting her exactly the sort of attention she's looking for. If people stop reacting, she may stop behaving so badly. And if she doesn't straighten up, at least you won't be developing ulcers over this.
I'm terribly sorry you and your neice are having to deal with this.
2007-06-14 06:21:13 · answer #8 · answered by gileswench 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No way should she wear a mini-skirt. A gown isn't necessary, but a nice dress or pant suit would be more appropriate. I know we can't get my mother in a dress, so my nieces will have their grandmother in a pants suit when they get married. Of course, my mom is 30 years older than me, and trust me on this, neither of us would wear a mini-skirt lol.
Talk to you mom, and ask her to behave. It's fine that she doesn't want any flowers or to be walked down the aisle, but her clothing needs to fit the occasion. If she won't listen to you, have your sibling whose daughter is getting married talk to her, also.
Wish you the best of luck!
2007-06-14 06:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds horrible. Give her nice dress, not necessarily a gown..... sit down with her and tell her the specifics. Also get a couple guys from the family, more than likely the ushers and use them as bouncers. Tell them and your mom if she or anyone gets out of line on the day (inclusive of the dress code) that is supposed to be perfect for someone OTHER than her, that they will escort her/them out and they will not be allowed back in.
2007-06-14 06:26:48 · answer #10 · answered by blanquettedeveau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have a terrible time trying to get her into anything too formal. From the way it sounds, I wouldn't be too concerned with getting her into a formal gown. However, she definitely needs to wear something long and semi formal. At least something that could be worn to church! If she disagrees, and will not wear something appropriate, I would tell her that she needs to not bother coming. I never like to be mean, but that is just incredibly selfish of her to want to wear something that would draw so much attention. It sounds like she has a bad attitude. Someone needs to stand up to her! Good luck to you. It sounds like you have your work cut out for you!
2007-06-14 06:21:23 · answer #11 · answered by GrasshoppaMomma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋