A year ago, I asked a friend of mine to be in the wedding. She was so happy I asked, and said yes.
Well, we didn't really talk through the winter, but I kept sending email updates to everyone in the wedding party about the wedding, vendors I used, etc... and I never heard back from her.
Two weeks ago, I get a notification from my dress shop where the girls are getting their dresses and they say that she's not been in, and on top of that, because she's not come in, everyone (who came on time!) must now pay $30 rush fee for the delivery of the dress to be in on time before the wedding. I tried calling the bridesmaid and ended up having to leave a voicemail about this and telling her to get in ASAP!
I tried calling her and calling her and she won't answer, and won't return voicemails where I have BEGGED her to call me back. I finally just said "Screw this!" and replaced her, without her knowing.
Should I have done something different?? I feel like I did everything I could!!
2007-06-14 05:41:48 · 39 answers · asked by Rock Goddess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
People have asked if she ever responded or called back -- Nope. And I've given up calling and emailing her, too. So when I get my email updates sent out again, she'll be out of the loop.
I feel awful that this happened, but I also feel like I wasn't good enough to be her friend when it came down to it.
If she didn't have the money for the dress, she could have just said so. That way, if she really wanted to be in the wedding, I would have paid for the dress or she could have told me that she just couldn't manage it.
Thanks to all of the answers!!! :)
2007-06-14 05:53:35 · update #1
I feel your pain.
i had a similar problem with my bridesmaid AND a groomsmen (they were married to each other)
Everything was set. Tuxes were ordered (or so we thought) we got a call from the tux shop, saying that Rick hadnt been in yet. I said well thats weird..... Called him. He said he was in got measured gave me the measurements, so I raised a stink with the tux shop about why it wasnt ordered.... Well come to find out that the groomsmen didnt pay for the tux. and had no intentions of doing so.
I sent my bridesmaid her dress in the mail. She got it, said it needed to be altered, so she took it in......
THEN I get an EMAIL from her ( not a phone call, nope nothing of the sort) saying she's really sorry, but they wont be able to COME!!!! so.. I lost a bridesmaid AND groomsmen 4 weeks before my wedding. I replaced them within the same day as that email, but still.
I dont understand why people say they'll do something, and then dont. Its rude of them to do something so stupid.
I agree with you 100% of replacing her. otherwise you run the risk of NOT having dresses at all for your other girls. not cool.
Good luck, and I hope everything turns out great for you.
2007-06-14 15:56:47 · answer #1 · answered by mannasox 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It does sound like you did everything you could and she didn't respond. You had to do what you had to do. I would just leave her a voicemail or e-mail saying that you had no choice other than to replace her, and that you sincerely hope this doesn't ruin your friendship. To be the devil's advocate, maybe she thought that she was no longer included in the wedding festivities because you didn't talk to her much...even though I know you said you sent her out e-mail updates. All I'm saying is I don't think she's an evil, rotten person for not responding, as I don't think you were mean for replacing her. Weddings are very emotional times without all the drama that goes along with it, so just do your best to keep your chin up and have faith in the decision that you made.
2007-06-14 05:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My only question is why you put up with her behavior as long as you did. She never talked to you, held off ordering her dress until the rest of the wedding party had to pay for her tardiness, showed no interest in the wedding, and utterly failed to support you.
The only excuse for that is if she's been in a coma for the past six months, in which case someone ought to have informed you by now.
The only thing I would have done different - aside from letting her go well before you did - is make sure I left her another voice message telling her very clearly that she's no longer in the wedding party. She does need to know that.
2007-06-14 05:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by gileswench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, without judging you, I would seriously apologise to her and explain yourself by text (I guess you already have done!) and then leave her to respond to you in her own time. Don't bombard her with texts or calls just now as she is probably pretty hurt and upset that you didn't go and at the end of the day she won't appreciate being reminded of what has happened while she is on honeymoon. Let her enjoy her wedding and honeymoon and let her get in touch with you, if she wants to. Just leave her to contact you and that's all you can do.
2016-05-20 02:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww,sweetie you have nothing to feel sorry about. This girl you say if your FRIEND certainly hasn't acted like it at all. She's acted selfishly and hasn't been a friend to you. She has plenty of time to let you know if she needed to bow out but didn't. She's rude and I wouldn't waste one more minute trying to be her friend. IF she ever does get back to you, I'd tell her how hurt you are that she behaved this way. In fact, I'm not even sure I would invite her to the wedding at this point!!
2007-06-14 06:05:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have replaced her as well. You don't need to deal with an irresponsible person especially when it comes to your wedding and if your friendship is over she did it not you. I didn't talk to my best friend much while she was planning her wedding but we did all go to the bridal shop together and emails are better than nothing at all...
2007-06-14 06:18:27 · answer #6 · answered by jcgrier24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did well. its your wedding and if she wants to screw it up F*ck her. Just be happy and if she is a real friend which she is not she would of know how important this was to you and would of done her best to get in touch with you. Just don't stress. Do you think she loses sleep about not calling you? Hell no. Just know that you did good and relax. If you don't lokk out for yourself who will. After all you are number one right? Just be happy.
2007-06-14 05:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should have been more responsible. You probably did the only thing you could when you replaced her. If she didn't show up and everyone who did come had to pay $30, it's definitely not fair. She's the one who should say sorry, you did nothing wrong.
Hope this helps!
2007-06-14 05:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by Angel. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What else do you think you could have done? Maybe go by her house or work? If she was to be your bridesmaid she must have been a good friend. So, what was the outcome? Did she ever get back to you? I think you did fine. But if you really wanted her to be there, you would have found a way.
2007-06-14 05:45:55 · answer #9 · answered by Home RN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...And how exactly were you mena? I mean, you were very nice about it...I wouldn't have waited this long to replace her!, I would have let a message letting her know and call the day...IS about the bride not the bride's maid, so if she accepted her responsibility to later find out that she wont be able to do it. The least she could have done was to give you a ring and let you know. Or at least answer your calls. Regardless wether you spoke to her on Chritsmas or wonter or spring...If she is upset about that...WOULD IT HURT TO LET YOU KNOW??? I don't know any one who died due to lack of communication with some one they knew..DO YOU?
2007-06-14 05:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by Jeenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋