When to let go of my cat?

Question

My 5 year old cat that I have had since he was 8 weks, is suffering from renal failure and has been since January of this year. He gets SubQ fluids every other day, but HATES the treatment. He has been hostile with the vet and the techs since day one and I can't say I blame him. Thing is, is that I know he will never get any better than where he's at right now, his levels have finally stabalized. He eats, drinks and plays fine, but is not what he used to be. He was always a very active and playful cat. You can tell he "tries", I think for me, but when you look at him you know he is not feeling well. He can't jump as high as he used to. I'm stuggling with letting him go. I know he will never get "cured" from this, he is stuck with it. My first cat had to be put down from renal failure and I can't bear to go through it again, esp. since he's so young. My other cat has been sleeping close to him like she knows their days together are numbered. I know I need to let him go. Please help.

For those of you who stayed with their animal in their final moments, do you regret it at all? I hate for his last moments to be with people he hates, but I think staying until it's over will only make it harder for me. This sucks.

I don't want it to get to the point of him suffering anymore than he already is either, even though his quality of life is okay. It's not fair to him to get "stuck" all the time to keep him alive, esp. when it makes him so miserable. I think it might be better to let him go while he is still somewhat "well". I need help with this.

Answer 1

I am so sorry about your cat's illness. Over the last 14 months I dealt with the same situation, with my 12-year-old cat. SInce your cat is so young to have this problem, he could have been born with malformed kidneys, as my cat was, according to her veterinarians' opinions.

If your kitty seems to feel relatively good the majority of the time, and is still eating regularly and playing, then I wouldn't it's time to put him to sleep yet. But you're the one who knows him and can `read' him, so do what you think you should do for HIS best interest.
His toleration of the treatments is an issue, you're correct. My cat was a very calm kitty, and she did tolerate the sub-Qs well, although she clearly did not like them.

My cat was diagnosed in Feb. 2006. She had a complication in Oct. 06' - a huge cyst that damaged one of her kidneys - and she seemed to go slowly down-hill after that, but she seemed still to be enjoying life the majority of the time until this Feb.. One weekend day she clearly was suddenly feeling pretty bad - like the poster above mentioned, my cat also looked at me and meowed in a way that told me she was really feeling bad - and I took her to the vet. As soon as the vet touched her, the vet said she thought we were almost at the end. She was right - the vet kept kitty on an IV for a week, but soon as she came off the IV, she went down-hill again.

I took her home for two days after that, but Kitty couldn't even drink water, and she would not eat at all. That's when I knew it was time to say good-bye, despite the fact that to me, she was like my child. We spent a really good last 36 hours together - she laid on my lap and I just petted and talked to her for most of that time, and then I took her back to the vet. I was with her as she was put to sleep.

My point of telling you so much about my cat is that I think you WILL know when it really is time to say good-bye. When you think it's about time, don't feel bad about taking a day or so off of work to spend time with your cat. I think you'll feel better if you do that.

When your cat is no longer enjoying himself the majority of the time, or is clearly suffering, then it will be time to say good-bye. My thoughts will be with you.

Answer 2

The decision to end a life is never easy. It causes much soul-searching and it takes courage to assume this last responsibility to a much loved pet. The cat/owner bond is very special so it is easy to become emotionally caught up in keeping your cat alive when your own common sense tells you the end is approaching. A good vet helps you to decide when it is time to let go, but only you can make the decision.

Your cat has been a cherished member of your family, this is the last, and often most compassionate, duty you can perform for him. Modern drugs are extremely fast-acting and the end is very peaceful compared to the distressing later stages of a terminal illness. I have always stayed with my cats when they were put to sleep. For me, it's a final chance to say a few words and kiss them goodbye. I also worried that they might think that I had abandonded them. Obviously some people are not comfortable being there and that's okay too, as an anxious owner, may unwittingly make their cat nervous.

I hope you find comfort and help amongst the answers you receive.

Answer 3

It really does suck I am so sorry.

If he has improved I don't think I would let him go yet.

I have a dog that they said would not live and she is still kicking. She was taken to a shelter as a senior dog. She is my only dog I kept as an adult. What was I going to do no one wanted a 100+ pound dog that could barely walk still tested positive for Heartworm after treatment and attacked other dogs? I felt so bad for putting her through the treatment and I couldn't let her go. She has good days and bad days but those bursts of energy when she wants to eat the neighbors dog in the yard or kill the new foster just brighten my day. I have several days I worry she will still be alive when I get home from work. I know and I see her suffer a lot but she has drastically improved and does have good times. SHe is old and can't do a lot that the younger dogs do but she holds her own and rules the roost when she wants. I can't be the one to make that decision yet. We all get tired and as we age we just don't function as well.

If he eats drinks and plays stick with him. Don't let him go yet.

Answer 4

Our cat Angela went through the same thing. We hated having to add to her suffering with the subcutaneous fluids every day, even though that was what kept her alive.

We let her go, finally, and our only regret was that we didn't do it sooner but allowed her suffering to go on for our own comfort, since we didn't want to let her go.

Think of it this way: Who's benefitting from your cat being kept alive? (Hint: it's not the cat.) Who's suffering every single day? (Hint: it's the cat.)

Do the right thing and don't prolong the suffering of an animal who clearly cannot understand it and who has no hope for recovery.

Answer 5

I'd let him be euthanized when you know he's in a lot of pain and would be better off. Right now he sounds like he's doing alright if he's eating, drinking, and playing. I'd wait until you know it's time.... now is not the time. Good luck.

The cat I had growing up was dying of kidney failure, so we had to put him down. I opted to not be there when it was done and to let him have a "group" cremation. (cremated with other animals) The pain of losing a pet is hard, but in the end, life goes on...

Answer 6

You have to look at the cat's quality of life. You have to ask yourself if you are being selfish to keep him alive. It will tear your heart out to let him go and you know that but you ultimately have to do what is best for your cat. Look into his eyes and when it's time, he will let you know. Be there with him. I've had animals put down and I think it's better to stay with them. I didn't stay with my dog and the last thing I saw was her looking at me and not understanding why I was leaving her. That haunts me to this day and that was years ago. So, yes it is better to stay with them. My heart goes out to you. It's really hard to let go of an animal you love. I've found that getting another animal right away really helps. You won't be trying to replace your sick pet. You will be giving all that love to another animal that needs you. It really does help ease the pain.

Answer 7

You dont know how bad things like this make me feel but you need to let him go. Think hard, some strange creature always cared for you, took care of you, but now your life and health are going. You cant take the suffering anymore and just want it to end. I'm no cat, but I'm sure its something like that.

Answer 8

My cat had kidney disease at 10 yrs old. We had him since he was a kitten as well. He told me when he was ready to go. After a particularly rough couple of days, he started looking for a place to hide. I think he knew it was time. He looked at me one morning and gave me this pitiful meow, I knew he was ready.
My husband (at the time), my daughter and I stayed with him when they gave him the injection and we held him and wrapped him in a blanket when it was over. It was niced to have the closure. I wouldn't have been able to say "good bye" any other way.
You will know when the time is right for you and you cat. No one knows him better than you.

Answer 9

If you feel your cat is suffering in any way, you must let him go.In situations like this, you have to put your own feelings aside, although it will be very painful for you to lose him, it will be your final selfless act for him.Many people who don't stay with their pet 'at the end' often regret it & feel as though they 'abandoned' them when they really needed them, Personally, i'd stay with him - the sadness you feel at the time will eventually fade, but if you choose not to stay with him, it could be something you regret for a long time.Good luck with it.

Answer 10

If his quality of life is suffering, then it really is best to let him go.

I know how hard it is to do -- I lost two cats to FIP. The first one became completely paralyzed and could no longer walk, and the second one just started deteriorating until he was just skin and bones. I did not regret staying with them at all.. Personally, I feel that staying with them is just a last kindness we can do for them, to have them die with us around them and letting them know how much we love them, than for them to die with strangers, to whom the euthanization is just routine. I think we'd want the same kindness done for us as well.. I know I'd want my family around me if I was dying, rather than just detached doctors.

If it helps, you can also look into getting him cremated and having the ashes returned to you.. I had it done for both my cats, and I feel so much better than if I'd just had their bodies carelessly disposed of by the vet's office.