What would they do if they learn I'm dating with a black?

Question

I've been dating with a black guy for over 5 weeks and I'm scared what my family's reaction would be. They're not racists but you know it'd be kind of strange. I asked him if he wanted to meet with my family he said it was ok but not so into it. Should I tell them?

He's the best guy I've ever dated, btw

BRIAN D: hey how can you be such mean and prejudicial?

Answer 1

Eventually they'll find out. If you feel secure in your relationship, then yes, tell them. If you two are still feeling each other out, I'd wait a bit.

Ultimately, no one can decide who is right for you. Not even your father. Race relations is a tricky thing for most families to handle. I wasn't particularly thrilled when my cousin started to date outside of our race, but I got to know the girl and she's cool. We actually are still friends even though she and my cousin broke up.

Everyone needs time to get used to things. I don't think people intentionally try to be racist with dating issues - it's just preferences. I've learned a lot and now I'm open to interracial dating - even for myself.

Perhaps your dad may surprise you with his acceptance. Maybe he'll take a minute to come around, but the best thing you can do is not let your family come between you and a good thing. Good luck.

Answer 2

I would first make sure that your boyfriend is completely "into" meeting your parents. You need to find out why he is hesitant about meeting your parents.

You want you and your boyfriend to be a united front when meeting your parents. He needs to be able to feel that you will have his back if your parents have a negative reaction.

Also, I would speak to your parents before hand and let them know the situation. Often times parents get SURPRISED and then you and your boyfriend will see their first reaction, which could lead to some not so nice things being said.

Let them know who he is (like a nice guy, a student, loves fishing, etc) along with the fact that he is black. This will show your parents that the skin color is not important.

Answer 3

Well, people can react in different ways. My family, we have always been around Blacks, my dad worked with many in Cotton Mills and I made some very good black friends over the years. Got some stories about that. I love to joke; "They not like Snakes". One day maybe I get to tell my story. But, my black friend and me, when we together, we called "The Snake Killers"!
I not sure how you should approach this as you know your family best. You could wait awhile to see how the relationship does, but, in time you need to tell your family. To me this not a big deal. There is a saying; "We all pink on the inside".
My Nephew marries a woman from Chad, Africa this July. She a good woman, she works hard and everyone loves her. Got to tell this and I finished. She took him to Chad to visit and he said he felt out of place as he was the only white person there. People looking at him, but, they accepted him. He a little on the heavy side and I joke that one day the people of Chad will be calling him; "The White Buffalo". LOL!

Answer 4

Five weeks is not long enough to date anyone to introduce him to your family.
After 6 months, you might have a reason to meet his family or him yours.
You can talk about him, and what you two do, and what you have in common and what is different.
"Hi mom, I have a new boyfriend. He's white," probably wouldn't come out in conversation, would it?
"Hi Mom, I've been seeing a new guy. We get along great. We both love to dance."
Who knows what they would do. Lots of times, people say they are not racist until their little girl brings home a black/brown/yellow/purple guy/gal.
Have a relationship first-then worry about how your family-and HIS- will react.
If they are racist, it is THEIR problem. Not yours.

Answer 5

they are racist then if you think it's going to be kind of strange. The more YOU feel uncomfortable about it the more uncomfortable you are going to make the situation for everyone else. Just encourage your boyfriend to be outgoing and try to make conversation every chance he gets so that his personality shows through and it will help them understand why YOU like him so much. The worst thing to do is to act all weird and silent as if you two have done something wrong. Be confident and act happy as you should be if you really like the guy.

Answer 6

I have been dating a black guy for just over 2 months now. I was a bit worried about how my family would react, they freaked out completely when i told them, told me never to return home and that if I wanted to see him they did not want to see me. They say they aren't racist, but they have shown their true colours. I was absolutely devastated. I have met someone who treats me like I have never been treat before, he is honest, caring, kind and works hard, I just can't understand their problem with him. So now I don't tell them about where I am or what I am doing, I just don't tell them anything anymore. If you think they may react like this I wouldn't say anything. They have made my relationship with him feel like a dirty secret. Only you can decide whether or not to tell them, at least if you tell them you will have been honest with them, whether they choose to like the situation or not at least you have told them.

Answer 7

It's your life. As long as a guy treats you right, no one should care what backround they have. If you're worried about it, tell your family first before having them meet so they won't be as surprised. If they throw a fit when you tell them, then you know where you stand. I still don't think people should criticize though, but there'll always be someone to say something nasty. Just be ready for that, but who knows- your family might not care at all.

Answer 8

I think your in for a world of hurt. Every girl I know who has dated a black guy long term wound up pregnant and alone. This of course does not hold true for all interacial couples only the ones I have personally experienced. Just realize to stay in this relationship you are going to have to overcome a number challenges when it comes to our culture. It may end up being more work than it is worth.

Answer 9

For goodness sake at least warn them well in advance. Show a photo or something. Whether they are racist or not, it's only fair to give them an idea of what to expect.

The same probably goes for his family too. The Supremes did a song called 'Does your Mama Know about me?' sums it up pretty well lyrics here. http://www.pcplanets.com/lyrics-text-8191-.shtml

Answer 10

5 weeks ?? .. whats the rush here .. take ur time .. relax .. wait till like 5 months at least .. gosh .. if I was the guy I wouldn't be so into it either .. going to meet the parents after a 5 week relationship .. no way and later girl!! ya going to get the u-haul in 2 months and married in 6 months ??