How do I turn in my ex for beating me last night?

Question

Last night was the last time I'm letting him get away with it. What will the police do? I only have one fist sized bruise from where he punched me. Otherwise, I'm fine. He was picking me up and throwing me into the walls as well as punching but all I have is the one bruise. The other blows didn't leave marks. Hes hurt me worse but I never told anyone about it. Will the police even do anything? What will happen to him if they do? What will the police have me do?

he has been arrested before for beating me and for unlawful restraint. That wasn't my doing though, someone who was driving by saw what he was doing and called the police. Also, what is the best way to approach the police about this? Should I call them or go to the station? Will they make me strip and take pictures of all the marks...?

I want him to pay for what hes been doing and am worried that the police won't listen to me and say its a he-said-she-said type of thing. I just wanted to know what the process was like and if I could expect anything to happen to him. If not, I don't think i'd want to waste the officer's time.

Answer 1

First, you need to go down to the police station and make a formal complaint/report about it. They'll ask for your statement and probably take pictures of any evidence on your body of him harming you (cuts/bruises/etc.) They won't strip you, (that would be if you were raped, but then they wouldn't be doing those tests anyway, they'd send you down to the hospital) They'll advise you of your possible options and I would suggest asking for a TOP. (Temporary Order of Restraint) which would require your ex to stay a mandatory amount of feet away (Depending on the urgency of the circumstances) unless he would actually LIKE to go to jail.

You'll also need to get an attorney to help out when the court case against him comes up to help prove that he did assault you and that he obviously needs some counseling/help.

I hope you really do go see a lawyer and the police, this type of thing should not go unseen, and more importantly you don't deserve it.

Answer 2

First, get out of the house. Contact a woman's shelter or go someplace where he cannot contact you. Document the bruise. Go to your doctor and have a medical report made, take pictures of the bruise, show it to someone who can be a witness. As soon as you are safe, call the Police and file a report. The reason you went to the Woman's shelter first is so you have an advocate, someone who can walk you through the process and tell you what to expect.

When you file this report, it is important not to back down. He will make promises. He will attempt anything including gifts and affection. He already knows how to get back on your good side. Refuse all contact until the trial is concluded. Insist that he go through anger management counseling, and insist on marriage counseling, even if the marriage is over. You need to be seen as someone who has made every effort to resolve the conflict.

By the way, the Police will do everything in their power to preserve your dignity, but you need to move quickly, and you need to do everything in your power to protect yourself NOW! Be sure and tell the people at the crisis center what your concerns are so they can advocate for you.

Answer 3

Go to the station. Ask to speak with an officer and file a report. Also say you would like to know the process for a restraining order.

Also, change the locks at your house/apt/condo. Do it TODAY. If you have an apt and there is a doorman, tell your supervisor about what's happening and give the doorman a pic of the Ex. He comes by the pace, the doorman can call the cops.
Go out and buy MACE. Some states require a license to carry. Isnt hard to get.
Have any male relatives or female friends close by? Have them walk/drive or go with you for the next week when you leave your place. He is less likely to assalt you if there is a witness present.

As for the guy who said to have sex with him and call it rape. He is an idiot and should think before he types an inane answer to a real question.

Good Luck and Be SAFE!

Answer 4

Go to the PD and tell them you need to make a report on an assault and show them your bruise. They may want you to strip down so they can check for other bruises and take pictures of them for their file but you can always ask for a female officer to do that.

I am surprised you stayed with him this long but thankfully you are now going to take some action. Be strong and don't go back to the house to get your things unless the police are there with you or he may start on you all over again.

Might be a good idea to also file a restraining order against him while you are there and if you decide to stay in your home for now, be sure and change all the locks on the doors immediately so he won't have access. Make sure you have deadbolts installed if they aren't already, just as an extra precaution. If he needs to get his clothes, make arrangements for someone else to take them to him so you two don't have to see each other or be close to each other.

Watch your back and stay safe and keep your cell phone and mace handy at all times, inside and outside the house

And in the future, make reports immediately ~ doing them days later looks bad for you when you have to go to court.

Answer 5

Get a restraining order. There are shelters for women in your situation so go there for counsel and practical help. Never let this guy back into your life. If you can leave the area permanently without a forwarding address you should do that as well.

Now, once he is out of your life forever get help in how to evaluate men. Do not trust your own judgment as far as men are concerned. You need help in this area so that you will find a healthy relationship with a man for a life that has a future.

Answer 6

Please do something about this man! You need a restraining order, and you should press charges. Go to the police station and request a female officer or social worker to be there with you. They will need to photograph all of the marks, but they should be very kind about asking you to undress, and will try to preserve your dignity. Pleaes make sure that you have the other attacks documented by the police as well, even if you have no proof.

If there are any signs of damage on the walls that he threw you into, make sure that an officer is sent to your home to document those, as well.

If there is a shelter for battered women in your area, go there if you need a safe place.

Please protect yourself. I am worried for you.

Answer 7

You aren't going to like my answer but YOU have to be the one do do something and that is LEAVE and NEVER GO BACK. Don't rely on the police. Find the strength and resources within yourself to say that you deserve better and GET OUT. Move several towns away if you have to. Don't even bother pressing charges because you'll waste time in court to get a restraining order which is useless unless he comes near you and even then he'll get a slap on the wrist, if that. Instead, use that time to gain independence away from him.

Answer 8

Call the police and make a Domestic Violence Battery report. Then, call a local women's abuse hot line (ask the responding officer.. they will have the numbers) and ask them to help you get a restraining order against him.

He can be arrested for this, and with a restraining order he will be thrown out of the house and if he contacts or threatens you in anyway he will be arrested again and again.

Do not be a victim. Call the police immediately.

Answer 9

If you don't have children, run now and don't look back. Get a restraining order.

If you do have children, call the police to get the bruises documented and press charges, then leave and don't look back. If you don't, you don't have much on record proving that he's a danger to your child - meaning he could very well try to sue you for custody (and win) to get you where it hurts emotionally too. Get documentation, I can't say that enough. It would hold up in court and he'll lose a custody battle.

But, please, whatever you do please leave. You need to stop the cycle now, or this will continue to get worse as he tries to exert more and more control over you. He needs help that you cannot give him.

Answer 10

get somewhere where he cannot get to you, and call the police, or go directly to the station. file a report, see if they have any female officers on duty, they will file the report and if the case is legit, (which i see no reason for it not to be) he will be arrested. and even if the charges dont stick, which with the other incident this is a pattern starting and i think they might, but if not its, more gas on the fire. file for a restraining order

on a personal note, i am very happy to see that you are not willing to take it anymore. no one deserves to be harmed in a relationship, woman or man, physically or mentally. it makes me so happy to see a person finially get out of the relationship.