Your opinion on being a mother and going out.......?

Question

Im a 20 y/o single mother of my 2 y/o little man. I work only a few hours a day and the rest of the time 100% of my time is devoted to him. However Just curious for you opinion on what you think about me going out. I like to go out and drink a little ( always have a designated driver) and dance my butt off. I live with my parents so I have no worries about him while being out. I always put him to bed and make sure everything is fine before I go. I was going out only on fridays but I want to start going out more, meeting new people. Just wondering if You think this is irresponsible being as I am a mother. I appreciate all of ya'll opinions. Thanks!

Answer 1

Hello - Kuddos to you on being on mom and a single one at that. It's hard enough to raise a child with two parents. I don't think people recognize single parents enough myself.

I myself see nothing wrong with this. I am sure however, there are plenty of people that do. We are all different that's what makes that world go around right?

My husband and I go out - We go every Friday to this little sports bar right around the corner from our house so we can walk. We don't and won't drink and drive. Our children are 17 and 12 so they watch each other ( a boy and a girl).

I belive it is healthy for them to see that number we trust them to be responsible enough to stay home alone, that people can drink and have a good time and it's okay.

I think you are being completely responsible. Being irresponsbile would be stumbling in drunk off your butt with joe blow to take the babysitter home while your son was watching.

MY HATS OFF TO YA GIRL!!!

Answer 2

It's so nice to see that you're doing all that you can for your baby and making sure he's safe. It shows great love and maturity on your part that your chief concern is for your baby.

I think it's ok to go out a little and have some fun. However, I'd make sure to be extra responsible (don't take drinks from strangers. Don't drink too much. Don't do drugs. Don't put yourself in dangerous situations, etc.) Your baby deserves to have a mother who's alive and well. Nightclubbing has its risks. I think once a week is sufficient. If you start going too much, it can look irresponsible. Once in a while, go ahead a go out twice a week.

Also, try to get out during the day with your baby, too. Head to the zoo or the park. Check out a church function or baby and me class.

Perhaps you could look into volunteering.

Answer 3

If you are already going out every Friday I believe that is more than enough. Even though your son may be asleep, there is really no reason why you cannot stay home. It would be different if you were going to work after he went to bed. You would be trying to make your life better both for him and you. If you got that much "free time" when he is in bed for the night, I would get another job at night for a few hours and save the money for your own place. It is nice that your parents let you live with them, but surely you don't want to live there forever. Think of how proud your son would be of you if the two of you had your own place, one that he could be proud of knowing of the sacrifice you made will he was still little!!!

Answer 4

First of all, kudos to you for actually being aware and concerned that your social life could have an impact on your child. I don't think there is anything wrong with going out and having a social life. You are young and you want to feel young and free. My only concerns are these:

*Be careful not to take advantage of your parents willingness to watch your son. If you were living on your own, you wouldn't have quite this much freedom so just try to be mindful of their time.
*Make sure that your parents have a reliable way to reach you while you are out.
*Be mindful of the people with whom you interact and always gauge them by whether or not you would want them around your son. Even if you never intend for someone to meet your son, that wouldn't stop some psycho from interfering in your personal life if he wanted to.
*Going out on Friday night is ok as long as it doesn't affect your Saturday morning with your son.
*Don't do anything you wouldn't ever want your son to find out about. That is a good compass for behavior since you are the sole parent for this child, you are also his role model and hero.

One suggestion - perhaps you could find places to meet new people that are not bars or clubs. Join a few groups for single parents, playgroups or church groups. You will be amazed at the different quality of people you will meet outside of the bar scene. You might even find some great friends with similar lifestyles (single parents).

Answer 5

Sounds like you keep your son as your main focus and you're responsible when going out (leaving the little guy with your parents and having a DD). You deserve--you NEED--some time to blow off some steam. If you don't feel good about going out drinking more than once a week, maybe you could find a new hobby to meet new people. For example, I scrapbook so I can get out of the house for a bit. :) That may not be your style, but you might find something that appeals to you and is more constructive--join an exercise class, try pottery, something like that. :)

Answer 6

No it's not being irresponsible you are young and you have to enjoy yourself sometimes. If you don't you will go insane. I have a 6 year old and I make sure he is asleep before I go out and I am back by the morning. I know it's hard and you may feel guilty but mommy has to have some time to herself every once in a while. Trust me!

Answer 7

As long as you are there for your son, and he's taken care of, it's okay. HOWEVER, I'm a little concerned that you want to go out drinking more than once a week. Going out is fine, but you will not be a good mother if you turn yourself into an alchoholic and it's a very slippery slope into that lifestyle. Especially since you've already started and you're not old enough to legally drink. How much worse will it be when you're legal?

My sister just wanted to party, and my mother has been raising her child for 8 years. That's not fair to my niece.

I think Friday nights is plenty, but give yourself other nights out that don't involve drinking.

Answer 8

Well, I am a mother of a 2 year old and I do have a strong opinion on this. I do think that you, as a mother, should go out and get some fresh air and un-wind, but keep control of it. I have seen some girls (friends) that have children, that act like they don't. They go out all the time and act like that they don't have a care in the world. Just the other weekend I was having a conversation with a friends of mine and he was telling that he thought this one girl was hot ( we went to high school with her, so we have known her for a long time.) He was shocked when I told him that she had a 4 year old child. He had no idea. He said that he would had never thought she had a child because she is always out. I think that's sad. Sad for her child and sad for her because it makes her look like crap.

Answer 9

Yes, totally irresponsible. You decided to give up the partying lifestyle the minute you got pregnant. I can't understand how you can get by with working only a few hours a day and still have money to support yourself and your son, and have money to drink up at a bar. I bust my *** for many hours a day at work and can barely make ends meet. Oh, but I don't live with mommy and daddy. That's probably why you're doing so much better than me.

Answer 10

As long as you always have a designated driver and someone responsible is watching your little man go out and have fun. You may feel guilty about leaving him at home but as long as hes taken care of really well don't worry about it. Go dance the night away!!