My girlfriend lives with me. I pay all the rent. I pay all the utilities. Satelite, Phone, DSL, Gas, Electricity and for my motorcycles and child support which add up to about 2150 per month. She is planning on going to Respirtory Therapy School and she asked me if I could help her out financially while she is in school which could add up to around 700 dollars. I told her that I would see what I could do but I explained to her my bills and she got upset with me and said that I was making her feel bad, I make okay money and I could probably afford it but I would have zero money for myself. Am I wrong for telling her that I'm not sure if I could help her out 100%. I really don't want to; am I wrong for feeling this way, people work and go to school all the time.
2007-06-14 02:06:58 · 26 answers · asked by Lewcifer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She has a job but doesn't want to work while going to school.
2007-06-14 02:13:00 · update #1
you all made me realize something. I figured the money was for her Truck payment and insurance. She wants me to pay for school too. Jesus..........
2007-06-14 02:24:09 · update #2
You need to ditch the.... well you know how the saying goes; one, you told her that you could help her out, two how the hell did she think you were making her feel bad, three, she should feel bad for being such a goddamn leech. Let me ask you this, would she do the same for you; work the 75 hours a week and pay your way through school, this is a no brainer, no she wouldn't, and at the end of all of this what is going to be your reward, she will have a better job and she'll probably just spend more money on junk she doesn't need; there is no gaurantee that she will even be around after she is done with school. Honestly, if you have any money to spare at the end of the month it should be put in a college fund for your child, at least you know she'll always be around and take care of you when need help. I'm tired of women taking advantage of men. When was the last time you ever heard of a woman putting her man through college or doing anything more than stuffing their face and watching "Dancing with the Stars"; I don't think you should help her out at all, there is nothing in it for you, tell her to be an adult and take care of herself. This just reaffirms my belief that women are the laziest creatures on the planet. She has plenty of time to prepare for this tell her to save her money and quit buying frickin' sweets. I guess good oral can get guys to do crazy things but man you need to come to your senses. You need to find a woman or women that have their crap together so at least you don't have to pay for every meal, they're out there. PLEASE SHOW YOUR GIRLFRIEND THIS!!!!!
2007-06-14 03:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dont feel bad at all! She is taking advantage of u and using u? R u sure she is in this relationship for the right reasons? I say this because u are already supporting her so much and then she gets upset when u say that u cant help her out 100% with her studies!!! I work and study and it doesnt kill me so whats wrong with her! She is going to take everything from u and if u dont stop her now and let her get away with it u will be broke as long as u r with her and she will never be employed! Sit her down and tell her that u love her but cant afford to pay for her studies but give her advice about getting a job and doing night classes!!! If she freaks out and leaves then u know that she was only using u and then ur better off without her! But u seriously need to do something! U work hard for the money that u earn each month so u should be able to spoil urself to make it all worth it!!!!!
2007-06-14 09:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by Stacey-Lee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right and she is wrong. You should not feel obligated to pay her schooling fees just because she is your girlfriend. There are student loans or financial aid she can apply for.
It sounds as if you are paying all the bills. Is she working? If she is, does she contribute to the household? If not, she can get a job to pay for her schooling.
ADD TO YOUR ADD: Sometimes in life we have to do things we don't like. It's called being an adult. She needs to stop being so spoiled and earn her own tuition even if it means working AND going to school.
2007-06-14 09:14:12 · answer #3 · answered by Lila 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes she is wrong. I work two jobs and go to school and pay EVERYTHING on my own. There is no reason why she can't get a part time job or look for scholarships. She should be helping YOU out with atleast half of your expenses but doesn't, and then she has the adacity to ask you to fork over more money and then get mad at you? I'm sorry but that's just wrong. Either she is really lazy or is a moocher. Stand your ground babe.
2007-06-14 09:13:05 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Rachel The Great ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has a good deal going with you. Explain to her that you would like to help her but you have all of the other responsilities on your shoulders and it would become a little too much for you. I mean she has to understand that she has to pitch in - it is really not fair to you. You are not wrong for feeling like this - you are human and you have a right to be able to spend your money the way you want to also. She should feel bad asking you because of all of the other things that you do for her. All she has to do is work a little part time job for some extra money. Stand by your guns.
2007-06-14 09:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by Babycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she is wrong. You are already paying all of the living expenses in the household, what does she pay for??? She can get loans and grants to attend school. These would cover the tuition fees. Besides the Federal Financial Aid (Pell Grants, Stafford& Plus loans,) there are also privete education loans available to her. You are her boyfriend not her husband or father, you have no obligation to pay for her schooling. You need to sit down and explain these things to her. If she loves you and is not there to use you, she should understand.
2007-06-14 09:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think asking you to pay her way through school is just wrong. If she's serious about doing this, she needs to find a way to make it happen. By which I mean she oughta get a job or take a loan, not mooch off you.
Plenty of us made it through school without expecting our boyfriends to subsidize our lives in the process.
2007-06-14 09:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being that YOU pay for the roof over her head, the food she eats, and the phone, TV, computer, etc., plus child support, you are being more than reasonable about this.
It's not THAT difficult to work while going to school, I work full time in Manhattan and take college classes at night to get my RN license! Most employers are accomodating.
If she can't support herself, that's her problem. Tell her to get a loan.
The only person you are OBLIGATED to support is your child.
2007-06-14 09:26:48 · answer #8 · answered by tiny Valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not your job to support her AND to pay for her education. Tell her to work and earn what she needs or take out a student loan or something. She sounds like she is taking advantage of your niceness and EXPECTS you to pay which is horrible. That's not nice of her. Do you even want to be with her? Sounds like you can do better... whatever you decide, she should learn to be responsible for herself and not rely on sugar daddy, you.
You have your own expenses, and child support is important and MUST BE PAID. Tell her you just can't afford to.
2007-06-14 09:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she has a cheek asking you. She should go out and work and studying like the rest of us. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet, instead of expecting you to cough up. She should feel bad when you mention your bills.
If you don't want to "help" her then don't. You have to look after number 1, cause noone else will.
2007-06-14 09:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by trackie1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋