the thing is that I am engaded and this other man is married with 2 kids but hes not happy and here lately neither am I. We are just friends nothing more but I am getting feeling towards him. I actually know he has feelings for me too. I dont know what to do he is a really good guy and I dont want to loose him as a friend. but the more I talk out my problems and he talks about his we grow closer together and I actually relized that my man has been treating me really bad!!!! what should I do????
2007-06-14 01:26:28 · 16 answers · asked by babygirl21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I also have a 3 year old daughter not by either one of these guys. but I was always told not to stay together for the kids sake if you are not happy then leave correct??? plus his wife knows about me and we are just friends we dont sleep together all we have done is hug and talk is that so bad????
2007-06-14 03:07:44 · update #1
Do not leave the one you love for the one that you like, bc the one that you like will eventually leave you for the one he loves.
2007-06-14 01:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by gremlin1422 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Barbara,
your situation sounds very unique. It seems you would have stayed in your current relationship and ignored these signs, if someone hadn't revealed them.
Now that you realize there are issues and your needs are not being met, It is time to have a direct conversation with your fiancee, describe what makes you unhappy or causes you to feel unappreciated. Reveal your needs and the ways you need to be cared for and see how he responds. It might be just the spark to get the passion and attention back in your relationship.
If you can maintain a friendship with this other man, I think it will be good for both of you. But it sounds like there is an under-current here which could develop into something dangerous, for both of you.
If you are going to go out on a limb and confront your fiancee, this other man needs to do the same in his household. Don't allow yourself to get drawn in to a situation where you are causing a conflict with his marriage vows and family responsibilities.
All I am saying is, don't change your life for a situation which could turn out to be much more damaging to your self confidence and karma.
Good luck to you ~
2007-06-14 08:36:24 · answer #2 · answered by yoak 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop seeing this married man doesn't it make you the least bit guilty to think u would be ruining a home and 2 kids lives if u get more involved with this man..He is transferring his feelings of unhappiness to you n u also have started thinking ur unhappy?!
The married man must be looking to get in ur pants obviously and how can u trust a man who is spending time with you most probably without telling his wife what is really going on between the of you? What if he does the same with another woman..
Cant u see? DONT get involved with a married man no friendship even.. STOP meeting him it may seem hard in the beginning but think of his kids his wife.. Stop seeing ur boyfriend if he makes u unhappy or doesnt treat u right..
U 'll meet a lot of people who willl love u for what you are n u 'll be the only one in his life...Trust me..Steer clear from this married man he doesnt seem like a person you should trust..
2007-06-14 08:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's married. I'm not really sure what else needs to be said. Both you and he should be ashamed of yourself. Never begin one relationship until you end another. My advice would be to cut off all communication with him until you both are out of your current relationships. The chances of him leaving his wife and kids are probably pretty slim and you'd probably end up being the mistress. If your fiance is treating you badly then either confront him about it or end it with him. But don't get involved with a married man or any other man that is in a relationship. I think you need to end the friendship and if you stay with your fiance please make it a very long engagement. I say this because if you are seriously considering getting involved with a married man then you yourself are definitely not ready for the commitment of marriage.
2007-06-14 08:34:16 · answer #4 · answered by ulovett_hokie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not in love with your fiance. If you were, you wouldn't even be thinking about getting into a relationship (physical or emotional) with married man who has children at home.
The fact that this new guy is "unhappy" in his relationship is that he spends more time discussing what's not right with cute girls than he does focusing on his family and how to make that an agreeable home life for them.
I have to ask anyway -why would you want to get involved with a man that has made it somewhat clear to you that if you were available for it he would cheat on his wife? 'Cause I guarantee you one thing here - if he cheats on her - he would cheat on you.
If you have realized in this little game you've been playing that your current man is not treating you right -or is treating you bad - then you should end it now before you are married and wind up going through the draining process of divorce.
That's my take on it. I hope it helps you make your decision.
2007-06-14 08:37:02 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs.M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Over time, everybody changes and grows into a different person with different needs and desires.
Your best hope for a long lasting relationship is with somebody who will love you no matter how much you change and grow and will support and encourage those changes.
Sounds like your fiance' may not be that person. As far as the other guy, if he is that unhappy, let him get a divorce first before you get involved with him.
2007-06-14 08:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by lunatic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, Its great to be just friends, but the thing is , marriage is a big thing, so u have 2 make a big decsion, which one would solve ur problems better, which one cares about u more than ur looks, remember u can marry the other dude
2007-06-14 08:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart and do whatever you think will make you happy. But if you are really in love with the guy you are dating and things are ok between the two of you then don't go throwing things away.
Ask yourself, out of the two guys, who do you have stronger feelings for? Who makes you feel warm, safe and protected? Who loves you unconditionally? Who respects you and appreciates you? Who worships the ground you walk on? Who is going to be there for you whenever you need them? Who wants to spend the rest of their life with you? Most of all, who makes you happy?
2007-06-14 08:32:16 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recommend getting to know the married man's wife.
I have never noticed that being engaged stopped women from having sex with other guys - at least not with me - if anything it seems when they get engaged they get a bit more promiscuous.
2007-06-14 08:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by glen_loves_fun 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave your soon to be husband. You say you love him but you go behind his back and cheat on him. You obviously don't love him and your being brainwashed by the other dude. He just wants you all to himself.
Good luck with that.
2007-06-14 08:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋