however he is still married to his ex who has moved out. but shes not over him she wants to get back together and when i asked him if he still loves her he said i love her but no im not in love with her. i asked him if he wanted me to leave this led to him crying and asking me not too.
However she calls him all the time asking to help her buy a car or bring the cat round etc it such a difficult situation.
One day shes angry and shakes my hand and sais no hard feelings well done and another day shes crying to him.
I love him more than anything in the world and would give up everything to be with him and i expected things to be difficult but i just want some advice as to how to cope with this. Ive tried talking to him saying how hes there everytime she clicks his fingers but he just gets upset. its hard to put all these feelings into this! please help?
2007-06-13 23:28:28 · 9 answers · asked by mog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only you know what is right for you, but I wouldn't want to be dealing with a situation like that.
Speaking as a guy, he obviously isn't over her or he wouldn't be doing what he is doing.
I would get some space and tell him to call me when he has his stuff figured out...
2007-06-13 23:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by Robb 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are with an Aussie and you are not one - good luck! They are untrustworthy, very lazy, cheat when they lose at games and sports, extermely jealous, and dishonest and pretend that they are better than they are.
The women are highly manipulative and the men are irresponsible. Get out of there while you still have some self-respect. They are probably both ripping you off together. Are you giving him any money?
There are exceptions, but they are few and far between. The one good thing there is that they hardly enforce the criminal law - it is all wristap stuff - so you can have a ding dong domestic without much fear.
2007-06-13 23:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is either going to get a divorce and live a happy life with you or he is going to stay married to his ex. which to me still means his wife. As for the helping with the car buying i would tell him not to do, because if she doesn't pay the note then it will come back to him and if it is repo then it will make his credit look bad. Maybe loan her some money to buy a car but make it a loan and not a gift and have a letter of intent to pay back the loan signed and stamp by a notary public.
2007-06-13 23:36:39 · answer #3 · answered by maverick29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of there now.
He is saying one thing to you, but his actions speak louder than his BS. He is clearly not making it clear to his estranged wife that she has no business being such a large part of his life now that he has you in it.
This is a man who is capable of subjecting you to a very unpleasant situation, when it is quite within his power to put an end to his wife's behaviour. He is doing nothing, or is at least acting ineffectively.
You need to make it clear to him that he has a choice to make. Either he clears this manipulative woman out of his life or he doesn't get to have you.
Make no mistake, you can not negotiate from a position of weakness. You can only deal with this from a position of strength. You will be in a weak position as long as you remain in his house. You will acquire a position of strength by moving out and thereby showing him that he is no longer going to have it both ways.
Protect yourself, babe. This is an early stage in your relationship; make it clear right from the start that you insist upon being respected. Right now you are being taken for a fool.
2007-06-13 23:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-23 20:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a easy situation, but remember, he is always going to have a feeling of responsibility towards her, he does still love her...The fact that he says he's not in love with her any more is a stupid argument, "being in love" is a chemical reaction your body has to help two people get together initially, there after, the "in love feeling" disappears and you love each other...for the rest of your life, so unless he tells you he doesn't love her anymore, get ready to have her a part of your life for the rest of your life, and deal with it!
2007-06-13 23:40:49 · answer #6 · answered by Sas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's gonna be hard but you're going to have to be firm with him. If he wants to be with you, then he should ONLY be with you. She is his ex. She has no right to ask him to help her pay for new things that she wants after their relationship is over. It is disrespectful of your relationship with him, and you need to let him know this. If he truly loves you like he says he does, he will understand. Maybe he just needs some more time to get over his previous relationship. At any rate, you deserve his full attention.
2007-06-13 23:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by mihali 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just a thought , u have a good friend that know the both of u ??
ask him for help , ask him to talk to him , example how yr friend seeing things @ his point of view ... just time a firend from the outside trigger his mind then the person inside the box ...
or writing a letter will help a lot , because is he reading and that make he think... which he think he see the picture more clearly on wat he doing to himself and of coz to u etc
gd luck take care
2007-06-13 23:43:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him alone until his divorce is final
2007-06-17 22:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋