My husband and I are constantly fighting and getting back together. During our last "break" I applied for a position that would take me 2 1/2 hours away from where we live now. I would know no one and be starting fresh. We made up kind of yesturday and I got a call today to say I have an interview. Should I go?? I am so confused. I dont want to miss out on a great opportunity BUT I dont want to break my husbands heart either. What if we have another fight in a month????? Do you know what I mean?????? What should I do. He doesnt even know I applied for this job.
2007-06-13 21:32:31 · 19 answers · asked by karena k 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best thing to do is to go on with your life, and see how the relationship goes from there. The time apart will allow both of you evaluate where the relationship is headed, and also gives you an opportunity to renew your sense of who you are as an individual. Go for the job, and good luck!!!!
2007-06-13 22:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by Tbone64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already knew what you wanted to do when you applied for this position. The seed was planted after that and possibly you felt somewhat "armed" by having the knowledge of this possible job 2 1/2 hrs from home. it doesn't sound like a happy situation for either of you right now. Your husband may be exhausted with the relationship as well. You sound as though you would be forever wondering about this job if you are offered it and did not give it a chance. But the same could be said for your marriage. I think your mind is made up.
2007-06-14 05:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Starting fresh with this new job possibility sounds like a really good idea. It sounds that due to these constant break ups, you don't have any security in any form anyway. This new job could bring you financial security at least. You wouldn't know anyone as you said, but maybe that is a good thing. You say you do not want to break your husband's heart, but isn't he constantly breaking yours already? Maybe if you tell him about the job, he might "see the light" and take your marriage more seriously.
2007-06-14 05:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by 8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you break your husband's heart if he's so willing to let you go all the time?
The two of you have a sick relationship. You're poison for eachother. Get some counseling.
In the meantime, go to the interview. "I don't want to miss out on a great opportunity BUT I don't want to break my husband's heart either." Just by saying that, you indicate that your desire for success, your interest in your professional future is on the same par with your relationship with your husband.
If you were truly committed to this relationship, you wouldn't even THINK about applying for a job so far away. Loving, honoring and cherishing someone all the days of your life does not leave room for on-again-off-again marriages or long-distance relationships.
Somewhere in the back of your brain, you've already moved on. Poop or get off the pot.
2007-06-14 04:39:31 · answer #4 · answered by ann81969 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you need to ask if you will be fighting again in a month. It sounds like it a sure thing. You probably already know this. And this will be going on (constantly) until you figure out the root cause of the fighting. Problably some therapy or joint councelling would help. Otherwise, It may not be a bad idea to start fresh.
2007-06-14 04:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you don't want to break your husband's heart, but what about YOUR heart? You are the only one who can really say whether you think there is a possibility of this marriage working. If you think there is a good possibility of it working, then speak to your husband about the job.Perhaps he would even consider moving with you. If you think the marriage is not going to work out long term, then go for the job, and make a new life for yourself. You will simply have to do some soul searching to come to your decision, but remember to think not only of your husband's feelings, but of your own as well.
2007-06-14 05:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by sparrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A real tough question,Sounds like marriage councilling might be necessary if you want your marriage to work of course getting your husband to go is another possible problem .You really need to consider what is causing all these fights and if you want to remain with him perhaps a new job may help you both.Anyway I would go to the interview if it is that important to you ,you still may not get the job .Calm down and think seriously what you want most .Goodluck John.
2007-06-14 04:47:27 · answer #7 · answered by john h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opportunity knocks only once, so why not grab it? On the second thought its good if you will have a good job afterall, since you are constantly fighting. You will need that in the future. With regards to your husband, he should understand your decision. Try explaining to him clearly and if he is a broad minded person he will understand.
2007-06-14 04:50:21 · answer #8 · answered by Zhoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him about it.
Then you can discuss it and decide what the two of you want to do.
It sounds like commuting would be difficult or impossible. This would mean either you move or you find a way to make the commute work.
Fighting happens in any marriage. Hopefully when you make up you do it with the same passion as when you fight--your marriage can last although you ought to find ways to make it a little less stormy.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure you and your hubby agree on it.
2007-06-14 04:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by Warren D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about the interview. Do not pass it up. Let him know it is something you really want. He should respect that. If you get a job offer you can then decide if you want the job and what you would have to do to take the job.
2007-06-14 04:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by scotts1870 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋