ok here we go, no family to run back to one baby and one on the way if i can carry one with all this stress and not much food or sleep. i am liveing with my fiance, i cook i clean and i work (at night) and take care of the baby in the day. my fiance works in the day and SOMETIMES does the dishes if he feels like it, he watches the baby at night (baby sleeps all night now and only one nap in the day) so he doesnt do anything at home, and does not apreciate anything i do. he complains of being so tired all the time and he doesnt do anything except work, its easy to take care of a SLEEPING baby.i am so frustrated and stressed i need some appreciation and when i tell him that he blows me off like i have attitude for no reason. so what to i do???
2007-06-13 18:17:18 · 9 answers · asked by curvy_chick000 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He definitely should be more considerate... however, has it ever occurred to you that maybe he doesn't realize what he's doing? If you haven't brought it up at all, he may not even know what's going on. Men can be pretty oblivious to that kind of thing. Talk to him and see what he thinks about the whole thing. Any decent man would be willing to help you take some stress off... if not, he's a loser.
2007-06-13 18:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all take a day off leave your baby with him for a day, go get pampered. He should be able to handle one day.
I know it's tough I used to work nights and then watch my baby during the day also. Your fiance might have been raised the old fashioned way where the woman took care of the home cooking, cleaning etc. and he doesn't know any better. It doesn't make it right. Does he even know how to cook.
Talk/yell GET IT INTO HIS HEAD and tell him this is B.S and you don't need the stress. tell him he needs to start helping some. You know in a relationship it has to be 50-50 for it to work. If he doesn't start changing he never will.
Last of all you should have seen the signs on how he was beforehand, if he doesn't start changing, get out of it, you don't need that crap, there are people out there who will appreciate you and your babies.
2007-06-13 19:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by markus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is...get out of the relationship now. It sounds as though it's been rocky for sometime and that you have had your doubts about his past actions. He's 'only' a fiance and you have one baby and one on the way. You entered into a housewife/homemaker situation, if you can't deal with it, you need to get out and make the best of what you have...possibly even giving the baby 'on the way' up for adoption to give him a decent chance at life, since you mention you have 'no family' to run back to. I'm sorry, you sound like you 'deserve more'...but that's what marriage and commitment and family is all about..cooking, cleaning, working, taking care of the babies, etc. You're obviously not mature enough (both of you sound young) to handle all that. And staying in this relationship, and having another baby, is not going to change things or make a situation any less stressful or frustrating. Think of the babies futures, not just yours.
2007-06-13 18:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by Rocky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him when you aren't feeling tired or stressed. It will come off less whiney or needy and he may take what you say more seriously. But to be honest with you, ask most moms and you will find that the distribution of the work load is usually shifted mom's way. Always has been, probably always will be. I decided after kid #3 that I would quit thinking about how much work I was doing compared to my husband, and just do what I could do and ask for help when I needed it. I was still a frazzled mommy burning the candle at both ends, but I wasn't nearly as resentful and unhappy. Don't let the man muscles fool you. We girls are the toughies!
2007-06-13 18:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by MaxitudesMamma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're on the same boat.I just learned to accept it.As a mom we will do everything for our child with or without our partner's help.Just pray to God for strength and courage to do it all.Save money for yourself.Since your man is working let him support you.Just work less hours so U have time for the kids and yourself.Never expect from him and you won't get frustrated.Save money without him knowing it.Part of your stress is your pregnancy so just take it easy,let him do the working.Take care of yourself.I learned to be numb....But there is a plan at the back of my brain...turn your stress to be your strength to stand on your own someday.
2007-06-13 18:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you need to have a talk about divison of housework, communication and expectations. Will he go to counseling with you? If not, consider going alone.
Reading material to consider:
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw
2007-06-13 18:27:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you want what? A big shiny medal? Or perhaps a big cross so you can crawl up and play the victim?
It's been this way since the beginning of time. Why do you think women have higher pain tolerances and more stamina in the long term?
That's life sweetie, if you don't like it, find a different man that has more feminine qualities.
Perhaps if you appreciated him more, he'd appreciate you more.
2007-06-13 18:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Simple answer, you are in the wrong relationship.
2007-06-13 22:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by Lee P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married as soon as possible, you shouldn't be shacking up.
2007-06-14 01:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋