I've been with my now fiance for 11 years in total. I found out that he's been talking to another girl, and when i questioned him about it he would just brush it off or say "we're just friends" but he hasn't mentioned her at all to me. so if they were just friends, why would he hide that from me. Should i be suspicious? Does anyone else think something is going on?
2007-06-13 18:16:47 · 24 answers · asked by masam19864 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I'm a chronic cheater and I would have to say that when the act is occurring, being faithful just doesn't enter into my mind. I think I have---like a lot, if not most, men---convinced myself that this is just the way men are, and that it is pretty much accepted. I know it sounds like a very weak excuse, but that is pretty much my thought process: first I don't think, and then I just brush it off as no big deal. Sorry, but I'm being honest.
And yes, it sounds like he's cheating on you.
~Jack
2007-06-13 18:34:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Why do guys cheat on women? For the same reasons that women cheat on guys, I guess.
Why did he not tell you about talking to another girl? Probably because after 11 years with you, he knew that you would be paranoid and suspicious.
You either trust him or you don't. If you trust him, marry him. If you don't, get rid of him and find someone you can trust. If you don't trust men at all, which is what your question implies, then the problem is with you and you need to sort that out before you can have a successful relationship.
2007-06-14 02:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by Tim N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything that is kept secret only goes to show in time why it was a secret. If they were friends then he should have told you about it. These days not to many people have friends of the opposite sex due to trust issues. It's always in the back of someone's mind that if they have a friend of the opposite sex then there is potential for something more to develope. They have to have common grounds in the first place to be friends. After 11 years you should have been mrried legally also. It just seems like if he does in fact have something on the side then getting married would only lead to financial trouble (divorce attorney's, court cpst, etc.). Talk to his friend and get her side of the story. If I was friends with another man I would want to show my man that I have nothing to hide.
2007-06-14 14:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by tazzyp01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They cheat because there is a problem within them. The 'just friends' line is very common. Yes, you should definitely be suspicious of his secretive behavior. It sounds like something is going on to me. I'm sorry.
2007-06-14 01:23:02 · answer #4 · answered by MNature 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men do have women friends, just like women have men friends. I wouldn't read something into it, unless there is a display of behavour to think other wise.
It could be she talks about things that interest him and you may not. What do you consider "cheat on women" ?
Because they are in a relationship, they never intend to pursue toward marriage.
2007-06-14 05:52:45 · answer #5 · answered by Lee P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of guys that have been in relationships along time like to explore other options if they aren't totally happy but, 11 years is along time id suggest you have a talk with him or keep a close eye on how he smells, evidence on him etc.
2007-06-14 01:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They cheat on women because most women date lame guys. Uhm, like when a women saids she wants a nice man, she doesn`t go and date the nerd who would do anything for her. Instead she goes and dates the guy that will cheat on her, if you ask me women want a man who can make them cry and hurt them. Yeah, but thats just to name a few things.
2007-06-14 01:30:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be suspicious, just because of things that have happened in the past to me. my husband hid the fact that he was "friends" with a woman from me and ended up sleeping with her. he swears that he only went into it wanting to be friends but "things happened". if i were you, i would put an end to the friendship as soon as possible. or, try and be friends with her as well. then maybe she'll be less likely to show interest in him.
2007-06-14 01:25:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want to meet her. Plain and simple. Give him an untimatum. If you don't meet her and judge their relationship for yourself, then give him his walking papers. I personally don't think he is being honest with you, but to give him the benifit of a doubt.....watch his every move while she is around. What is the hug like? How do the talk to eachother? Follow your gut!
2007-06-14 01:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by Chris G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now it could be more to or its possible that its nothing- but it is clear that you 2 have trust issues & if the 2 of u plan to have a future together- u both r gonna have to sit down & talk about this so that you guys can get pass it
2007-06-14 01:36:54 · answer #10 · answered by kimmiegaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋