Three strikes your out...How do you move on and trust again?

Question

Married once for 12 years and two other relationships that didn't work out. Now I am afraid to move on or to trust again. Where can you find an honest man now a days?

Answer 1

Hi: I have been divorced (I was dumped) and have had several bad relationships before I met my current wife. You have got to have faith. I have done alot of soul searching to better understand me. I now understand that you have to go foward not backwards. You must learn from your past experiences and move on. Believe me, you will find love again and it may happen when you least expect it. So be ready. You don't have to go out looking for it, it will find you. You have to trust people. Trust is the main foundation to friendships and relationships. Most of all, you want to listen to your heart. Your heart will never lie. Three strikes only counts in baseball. This is life. There are many chapters in your life. You can now start the 4th chapter of your life. Your book is not done yet. Take care.

Answer 2

I have been there and trust seems to always end up being an issue however (I am a women by the way) it's not finding an honest man that is going to solve these feelings you are feeling. First, you need to know what you want and what you can bring to a relationship. I don't know of a more painful experience other than losing someone through death to overcome without wanting to just find someone else to replace the love you miss. We need to really heal from lost relationships and be who we truly are and only then can any relationship have a chance. We need to learn to trust ourselves before we can trust someone else. Honestly, if you really feel it's been male dishonestly then you need to do whatever it takes to gain that trust and without a doubt you should discuss this with the next man you meet that you feel could lead to a meaningful relationship. Tell him it's not him but past experiences and that you need time to trust and do a background check on the guy; if he has nothing to hide this should not be a problem. If he yells,"you don't trust me, so you did a background check on me" just tell him (to ease his concerns) that you don't trust yourself and often we don't after several breakups. Usually second and third relationships are often rebound relationships and are doomed for failure unless we as individuals stop running and learning to know who and what we want in a relationship. Take some time and be good to yourself and just stop looking and in time a good man will come into your life and you will be ready for him. Personally, if I survived the pain and loss of a breakup I want to feel that I always live with the good of who I was with before which allows me to never be bitter or angry. I stayed in a bad relationship because I did not feel I could adequately support myself alone but when I just said enough is enough and left I found that I could support myself which gave me security I didn't have in my past relationship. If you don't have to worry about needing someone else just to survive, it makes allowing time easier.Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hi Grenis,
We completely understand where you're coming from. I myself have been in quite a few relationships in my time and have been Married and divorced once. Chriist and I haved learned the hard way as well that human being are apt to let us down, even without intending to at times. We have different desires and at times after we've committed ourselves to a relationship or a strong friendship, we have a tendency to let the other person down due to these different desires and wants. We usually want the best for all in a relationship, but when we are seeking to be happy as individuals, we have a tendency to let the other person down. Chriist and I have found each other on a Christian singles website. We are really compatable and happy with one another and desiring alot of the same things in life.And or are open to work together on eaches wants. We highly advise that you first seek God in prayer on this matter.And put your trust fully in Him, so that He will work with you.Proverbs 3:5-6'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths.' And Psalm 146:3-4 'Put not you trust in Princes nor in the son of man(people), in whom there is no help. His spirit goes up, he returns to the earth, in that very day his thoughts perish.' He will teach you how to forgive,even when we've been hurt exceedingly, and learn how and who to trust, by His standards. It's highly advisable that if you really want an honest man that you seek him out in the Church. A sincere Christian Bible believing Church. Not that this is always the case, but most of the time it is. In Church people are to recognize that they have a need for help and to be saved out of life's issues. Men and Women in Church have morals standards to follow by and are more apt to do so, then just any guy or gal around these days.Please investigate what you've been encouraged to do by us. And may God help you with you search for that honest and true man that is out there and that was made just for you. And God says in Genesis 2:18'...IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN SHOULD BE ALONE, I WILL MAKE HIM(HER)A HELP MATE.' In His Love and care, your servants Sister Chriist, and Pastor B

Answer 4

It's not just honest men who are hard to find, my friend. Trustworthy women are few and far between as well.
My circumstance is not much different than yours, so I get where you're at.
At this point I've just decided that I'm not ever letting any woman in that far again. Not that I'll never love or trust again... just not quite as much. Not giving someone the power to tear me down again, you know?
Good luck.

Answer 5

some human beings are not geared up for monogamy and it style of feels like your spouse could be that style of guy or woman. I even have stumbled on that a marriage can exist devoid of monogamy, yet no longer devoid of have confidence. so which you particularly have 2 thoughts one you're able to have an open marriage, notwithstanding this infrequently works out if the relationship did no longer commence out as open interior the 1st place. the 2nd is to easily chew the bullet and leave, she's cheated on you before and he or she will cheat returned and no person merits that, I comprehend that this could nicely be a perplexing decision to make, notwithstanding it particularly is often ultimate to make a sparkling wreck. it particularly is particularly helpful to evaluate turning out to be a member of a help group it particularly is often ultimate to be around people who empathize. individually i could fake to make up together with her mutually as secretly moving any great ingredients into the call of an off-shore corporation owned by capacity of a have confidence account of which you're beneficiary (I even have stumbled on Singapore and the Caymans are ultimate for this). As for any funds ingredients in case you purely open an ecu financial enterprise account interior the call of the have confidence (those can unquestionably be setup utilising an lawyer in England) you may deliver a rapid international draft (Deutsche financial enterprise in Frankfurt Germany is large for this) have the financial enterprise subject you a Mastero Card so which you nevertheless have get admission to to the money. this form whilst that cheating harlot tries take 0.5 your stuff you may hand her a twenty and tell her to bypass to hell.

Answer 6

Its always best to look at ourselves in these situations because we cannot change others, but we can change ourselves. The very best way to find a good companion is to stop looking. Get involved with something you have great passion for and throw yourself into it. You will find that like minded people will be around you and at least you will have something to talk about. All good relationships start with good conversation, start there.

Answer 7

I don't trust THAT person ever again, but NEVER let that spill over into every other aspect of your life - it is highly unfair, and the destruction of half the relationships I swear. It is in the past, let it go unless it is involving the one who lost the trust in the first place.

Answer 8

just with anything you just need to give your self some time
take it one day at a time. it may seem like you cant trust
anyone right now.but as time goes on it will get better. dont
worry so much. when you ready to get back out there you
will. good luck.

Answer 9

I think that the genuinely good ones are few and far between.

I hope you meet someone who you really can trust. Good Luck :-)

Answer 10

If you figure out where the honest men are, let me know!