Were you able to resolve any issues b4 ur parent passed away??

Question

Does it make their death a little easier to deal with if things are brought to the surface in efforts to strive for peace for the both of you?
If you were unable to discuss any issues w/this parent, do you wish you'd made the effort when they were alive? or does it really make a difference?

Answer 1

My dad died on my 16th birthday. Prior to that I was so bitter towards him for so many things that happened. He abused my mother and I, did drugs, slept around...I mean I could go on and on. The night before he died he left my mother and I again for the last time. He walked out on my mom that night, and didn't bother telling me. The next day at school I found out he died.

Because there has never been any closure, it was extremely difficult and I found myself grieving more than I ever expected to. I could go on and on with the 'what if's" but that certainly isn't going to change a damn thing.

Answer 2

I guess it depends on your relationship with your parent. And having the chance to resolve any issues when you know they are close to passing (eg: sickness) probably changes things. Wouldnt it be good if we could want to resolve issues when they are alive, instead of waiting until they pass or get sick to realise how much we do love them and want to make peace. Unfortunately I am guilty of that and do have regrets. I was just coming to the age of wanting to do things with my mother, become friends and go out together but my changes were too late and she was diagnosed with an acute brain tumour, even though she was sick she didnt understand any thing I would say anyway. But you know what? at the end of the day our parents love us no matter what and would probably forgive us for our mistakes anyway (within reason of course) But overall I do think it makes a difference.

Answer 3

I really do not know how to answer your question without sounding like i'm sitting on the fence. Yes, I have dealt with death..of a parent. The problem is..i dont know if things are settled between us or i made any difference.
My mum was the only parent i have ever had. She and i got along so well we were like best buds. I came home from college one day and she wasnt home. My neighbour informed me..she was taken to the hospital. She suffered a stroke and it was fatal.
Now..ten years later..i'm all grown up..married..working and i have accomplished a lot in my life.
I dont seem to have issues..but i wish i had time to say goodbye....
That is the only thing which would make a world of difference to me...

Answer 4

Not all problems can be solved or resolved...
My father is a convicted pedophile... And that very much affected my life in a bad way when I was growing up.. How do you resolve that? He's still my father.. I have gone on with my life building the positive on my own.. But even today the scars are still there... Sometimes there is nothing you can do that will be of any help.. That's what they call "Life".. You just sort of deal with it and tredge on and try to do what's best for yourself, and the people you love around you..

Answer 5

Yes, I resolved a big issue with my mother while she was still alive. I feel tons better. My mother and I no longer speak but at least we know how the other one feels. I do not think that either of us has any regrets about how things have turned out. Sometimes you are just better off without them. I realize they are your parents but that doesn't mean they can make your life miserable because they are miserable.

Answer 6

specific, yet on condition that it have been to an exceptionally positive woman. i would not choose my babies to could desire to boost up without a mom determine yet I additionally would not choose them to boost up with an evil step-mom. and that i additionally would not choose my husband to be lonely. All that concerns to me is that my relatives is chuffed. If yet another woman can cause them to chuffed and healthy whilst i'm long gone, then solid for her. no person merits to be lonely and depressing. we are in a position to all be jointly in Heaven and that i will welcome this loving woman as an element of the relatives as nicely.

Answer 7

I don't do issues. Issues are for the weak and the trivial minded, I'm over all that krap.