I am currently a student in college. I am 25 years old so of course I should probably be done with school by now. I had my first son at the age of 18, so working and trying to make it through college as a single parent was tough for me. Now, 7 years later I am married with a 2yr old son.I love my husband so much. He is a hardworking police officer and also the bread winner of the family. Things are okay financially, but sometimes they aren't. When money problems arise my hubby then turns on me and makes me feel as if I am just wasting time in school and that I should be working. I am a full time student (Junior)so I'm in school everyday, all day. Then I pick up the kids, come home, help with homework, cook dinner and also try and maintain the house. My hubby on the other hand works from 2-11p.m. Then comes home and watches TV...nothing else. And on his off days it's hard for me to get him to take the trash out. I'm just wondering if I should stop going to school and get a job.
2007-06-13 17:49:35 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only you can decide that. You've put school off to have your baby. If at all possible, hang in there and finish. Your husband is wonderful until there's a financial crisis, then he acts like a jerk. He's reacting to the stress of the money situation. Would your getting a job really help that much? Or would you be able to get a higher paying job with your degree? Given what your husband has to face every day from 2 to 11 it's understandable that he may just want to unwind when he gets home.
Have you talked to him about this situation when money was flowing OK? That would be the best time to address it with him. At that time he's not stressing about paying bills and will be more receptive. It sounds like you're feeling guilty that you're doing something for yourself. You have a right to stay in school and not feel guilty about it. Don't let anyone "make" you feel anything. Try talking to him about alternative solutions that you can both come together on.
2007-06-13 18:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let no one stop you from furthering your education. Times get all the times for everyone and your husband needs to understand that. You are already doing what you need to do as a wife and mother and he should appreciate that. Some women just expect that since they are home and the husband is the bread winner that they have it good, and some do but when your at home all day what is there to do besides watch the stories all day and shop. If you ever were to leave him and finish your education and get the high paying that you are going to school for how would life be for him? He still would be struggling to make ends meet and you would have all your dreams answered because you wouldn't need him to help pay anything. A good woman come a dime a dozen and if he can't see that you are going to school to make his life easier then I say finish your schooling and leave. Let's see if then could he make it without you when child support takes majority of his check.
2007-06-13 18:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should never give up your ambitions for anyone, plus you are almost done with school. If financial situations are tough, then think about taking a break from school or go part time and get a job. Or talk to your husband and explain how you feel to him, if he loves you he would do anything for you. Cut back on extra expenses, manage a budget so you both can do what you want. And also all men are lazy, I think everyone has trouble getting their guy to take out the trash or doing simple things sometimes.
2007-06-13 17:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, and he needs to share in the house hold duties. If you stay in school you will be better qualified to get a good career and it will be the better for your family. You will be making more money than him and then he can pick up the kids, make dinner and take care of the house cause you will be the main bread winner. Seems that he thinks that is what qualifies him to sit on his duff when he gets home cause he is the main bread winner. Some men have a lot of nerve.
2007-06-13 18:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO!!!! Do not stop school so close to finishing! My ex made me quit school 6 months from finishing, and I've regretted it ever since. Point out to hubby boy that you won't be able to make a decent amount of money if you drop out now. If he's concerned about money, maybe that little fact will knock some sense into him. And I know you don't want to think about or hear this, but if the day comes that you split up, or if something happens to him on the job (with him being a policeman it is not unreasonable to think it is possible) you will need that education to support yourself.
2007-06-13 17:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my marriage, only I'm 28, my husband is a correction's officer and works 2-10 and I have two kids, 3 & 1.
I DO everything. Taking the trash out is his only job and he whines about that! Plus, since we are married, he gained a ton of weight. I am working my *** off trying to get my bachelors degree and taking care of two little boys.
Believe me!!!! I relate to you totally!!!
I will have to take some of the same advice that you get.
2007-06-13 18:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by Cam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work is work with a paycheck and school full time is work with a future paycheck. You and your hubby need to communicate about a chore list that makes housework an equal gender opportunity.
Do you have parents that may be able to help you financially in an emergency? Does your school offer accredited paid internships for your major? Have you looked for a grant or student loan?
2007-06-13 18:07:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't quit school. Marriage is great when it is working but my husband of 21 years just left me. I have no college degree and my 4 year old daughter and I are really struggling. I didn't have any idea that he was unhappy and having an affair. I was a stay at home Mom and my husband didn't do anything either other than his job. He had a good life but wants to blame me for everything. Please stay in school. You never know what the future will bring.
2007-06-13 17:58:45 · answer #8 · answered by sosad 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wait up for your husband to get home from work. Put your child to bed. Here is what you tell him " (What ever his name is...), I am trying my best to get through college so I can get a good job and so that Our son can grow up in a nice home. However, I know you get home late from work but you have no excusses to come home and just watch television all night. You need to be more responcible when you come home and deal with what is needed to be dealed with instead of sitting on the couch and doing nothing." talk to him about how you feel and how stressful college is. He will understand if he really loves you.
2007-06-13 17:57:03 · answer #9 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. Do what you need to do for you. Dont let him control you by not supporting you on your carrer move ( education ). My guy use to do this to me and still "teases" me ( which is a hidden insult ) about me being in my late age and still trying to follow my education goals after having so many kids. I stopped for him and started thinking about work as he mentioned and I lost myself and became miserable and confused. The kids felt this change and so did he. But he was fine. He began complaining about the house chores. Then my parenting. I just realized I best follow my dreams with or without his support. Otherwise he will make me a bitter woman and I will have no one to blame but myself cause I allowed it. So, continue your education and maybe one day when it pays off big, he will regret he didnt show you so support.
2007-06-13 17:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋