Seriously how do you achieve an orgasim?

Question

Okay, someone has asked me how to achieve an orgasim, and I do not know exactly how to tell this person. They want to know on both ends, how to give and recieve. Strange enough I would like some help with this one. Please be honest, and not distasteful.

Answer 1

1st a huge high 5 to you! You are so brave posting this question. I sure hope there aren't any guys reading this. If they are I hope they use it to benefit with their mate. Please forgive the story telling, but it is the only way I can be real with you and try to help you relate and for you and your friend to give and receive your big "O".

I am 33 years old. I started having sex at 15 years old & got married that man at 17. I had never had an orgasm with him. I would go by myself and cry afterward and finally I got brave enough to tell him I never had one. He wasn't much for trying to help me with it or please me. Talked to my mom who said she and my grandmother never had one either and that I probably never would due to the way our bodies were built. I was so embarrassed, ashamed, and disappointed. I felt like there was something wrong with me. Ever girlfriend I would ask about this acted like it was a shocker that I had never had one. I even went to the doctor who tried to tell me that it wasn't me and that I was with the wrong person. I felt even worse with that and how dare she, I was married.
A very open minded friend of mine and I had gone to a sex shop to look around for stuff to suprise our husbands with. I ended up getting a vibrater, lube, and a dirty video. My husband at the time wouldn't help me with it. So i layed on the floor in front of the tv, watching the movie. I used the vibrator (with lube on it) on my clit. The trick was letting myself get horny and then placing the vib on my clit. You have to be very relaxed and try no to focus on wanting an orgasm and just go with the pleasureable feelings. When you feel like the intensity down there is too much you will feel like you have to get the vibe off you. Like it's too much. Try your hardest not to take it off. If you just can't stand it, lesson how much it is touching you, but don't remove it completely. You will begin feeling a strange rush through your body and up to your head. The feeling will increase up to a peak and then as it changes, your vagina will begin to pusate with the muscles in it tightening and loosening. Keep the vibe on you untill the pulsating or feeling stops. Or as you get use to it, you may be able to remove the vibe toward the end of the pulsating but before it completely stops and then place it right back in a matter of seconds and be able to have another O connected to the 1st. After one ends completely, while your clit is still swollen, you may even be able to place it back down their and do it again. You may want to support your legs with a pillow under each knee. Women tend to be able to have multiple O's, and men usually can only have 1.
After years I had ended up divorced and through having different partners, I still wasn't abe to have an O with just a man and his penis. I did get to where I could have a very trusted partner making love to me and use a vibe to get off. to do this....Lay on your back with your legs over your partners hips and waist, as they lay vertical to you on their side. As they make love to you, use the vibrator on your self. Don't focus on trying to acheive an O. Let your body relax especially your legs and go with it. You may need to fantasize and put your self in a situation that is exciting for you, or watch a dirty movie, look at magazines, or read "Penthouse letters". both by yourself or with a partner, stimulation will need to continue for a while. You will now when you are getting closer when you clit gets very swollen and sensitive.
I would recommend that 1st you learn how to have one by yourself so you don't feel so presured. Know that men can have one in seconds (poor guys) to minutes, to hours after beginning sex. For women, When you 1st start having them, it may take you an hour or two of getting your self excited yet relaxed enough to have one. It may not happen on the first or fifteenth try, but don't give up! It can happen!
5 years ago I met my current husband. I was honest with him, and I told him my story and that I thought I was messed up because I couldn't have one with a man with no vibe. My God. He is a blessing! I always had a problem with receiving oral sex prior to him. With him and I trusting eachother and learning eachothers bodies, I have allowed him to go down on me. For probably about 2 years of your relationship, I would feel good but never to the point of an O. He loves to go down there and loves to stay down for an hour or two if i let him. I had to force myself not to make him come back up, when I would feel uneasy or embarrassed about not having an O. Now that I just let him stay down, and I have learned to relax by practicing alone, he can get me to have an O with either his mouth or fingers. And on rare occasion, he can either get me to the point of starting my O with his mouth of fingers to my clit, or either him or I will play with my clit while having sex and I can O.

You are really going to have to get to know your body 1st or learn how to relax and let your body and mind take over.

As far asgiving someone an O... Men are easy. I'd swear that they can get off by just thinking about women. With intercoarse most man have no trouble getting off. When it comes to oral sex, feel every inch of his penis in your mouth. Either have your hand stroke his shaft or play with his balls. Circle your mouth and tongue around it especially focusing right below the head of his penis. Move your head up and down with your mouth snugged around him to simulate him doing your vagina. You can even loosen your mouth around him moving your tongue around. Give a suck onto him as though you are taking a single gulp out of a straw (some men not all like this and not to hard). you just keep up your enjoying mouthing him and he will O. Most likely he will do it when you are bobbing up and down. Make sure that when you hear a change in his breathing and he starts to tense up with pleasure, that you keep up what ever part you are currently doing to him and don't stop. If you don't want the stuff in you mouth have him let you know (if you can't read him yet) when he is starting his O. Then you can replace your mouth with your hand stroking him firmly, but not too firm, and lick the tip of his penis at the same time. It's not as likey as with women, but a man may need to get use to you also before being able to O when you are down on him. When he is done, his penis is very sensitive, so slow down and stop trying to stimulate.

I hope this wasn't to pornographic for you. I didn't mean for it to be. I don't know how else to explain it. I wouldn't want to go and not explain it and not have you get the help you need. If you have further questions about this, just add comment to your question adn I will check back and see if you have others. Know that you aren't alone, this is what most women go through.

Good luck to you. I really hope this helps!

Answer 2

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RE:
Seriously how do you achieve an orgasim?
Okay, someone has asked me how to achieve an orgasim, and I do not know exactly how to tell this person. They want to know on both ends, how to give and recieve. Strange enough I would like some help with this one. Please be honest, and not distasteful.

Answer 3

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First, most women don't orgasm during vaginal intercourse. That's because the clitoris is the organ for sexual pleasure for a woman, and it's not that close to the vagina. Every woman is born with the capacity for orgasm, but each of us has to learn how to orgasm. I know it sounds strange, but it's true. Here's another thing that sounds strange but is true. Not all women have the capacity for multiple orgasms. Yes, that's right, all of those claims that any woman can learn to have multiple orgasms, all of those article in Cosmo, etc that tell you what to do, are wrong. That's because their "experts" are looking at this from a psychological point of view, since they tend to be psychologists who have specialized in human sexuality. But the MD's and RN's who have specialized in human sexuality understand that part of this is how your brain is hard-wired, and if you're hard wired for a single, earth shattering orgasm, you can't have multiples. The reverse is also true. I'm giving you a list of links that will help you learn about your body and how you respond. It will help greatly. Once you know how your own body works, you can teach your partner how to pleasure you. There is a better than 97% chance that a woman will have an orgasm with at least 20 minutes of the right types of foreplay, but the more the better, for both partners. And of course, once you've learned how.

Answer 4

Well I can definately tell you that the more you worry about "achieving" an orgasm, the less likely you'll have one. Orgasms are meant to be enjoyed, not an assignment!

First of all, you need to flat out communicate this to your partner. "hey honey during sex sometimes I wonder why I don't orgasm-- what do you think?" or "Ever thought that maybe we could try x,y, or z next time we get busy because maybe I'll have an orgasm?"

Secondly, LOTS of foreplay. Don't rush it, and the longer foreplay is the more likely your body will become aroused in preparation for an orgasm, and psychologically you'll be even more aroused as well. A lot of this is psychological too, so keep that in mind. Don't FOCUS so much on it.

Third, try having sex in different positions. I know that for some women, doggy style works well, for others, reverse cowgirl.

And last but not least, don't forget to have fun in the process-- sex shouldn't have deadlines to accomplish or missions to "achieve"-- pardon the cliche but just do it!

Answer 5

Increase Penis Size Naturally

Answer 6

Try different things...toys, techniques, different settings, music, etc. Once you find something that seems to be helping stick with it. Everyone responds to different stimuli (sight/sounds/smells/touch) in different ways so experiment, and try to get comfortable and relax, if you are tense it will not happen, or not easily anyway. Have fun!

Answer 7

There's exercises you can do. I, myself have read up on them and can really help you grow if that's what you're wanting to do . One of the trainers I used to know introduced used to talk about it and I told him to shut up of course. "quit talking about your penis" but he'd be the guy to ask.

Answer 8

I would say for the receiving end to fantasize while you are receiving "whatever". That's the only way for some people. Otherwise what do you think about if not your favorite fantasy while you are awaiting the "O". I would like to read what others think about.....

Answer 9

Orgasims

Answer 10

learn to know your body--when you can give yourself an orgasm you can teach someone else how to do it too