Please help others by telling them how you survived an abusive relationship. Together we can offer "Hope"

Question

Hi,
First let me say my heart goes out to you if you are or have been in an abusive relationship. I was myself many years ago and have since helped others see their is hope and love all around you just for the asking. I know if you are in an abusive relationship you feel helpless and don't think you can make it, and if you are lucky enough like me to get out then you know of the better life that awaits. I am currently writing a book and would love for you to write telling me your story . I will not use real names or location. If you are currently in an abusive relationship please share how it is effecting you and your family. I would also love for those of you that have gotten out to share your story as well to encourage and give hope to the many who feel as hopeless as we once have. The only compensation you will receive is knowing you are helping others with your life story and giving them the hope for a better life. Write me at Trapped_No_More@yahoo if you don't want to post here

Answer 1

I happen to be writing my own book about my story. Here is the short version. My first husband was a man that I met when I was 10 years old. We stayed good friends for many years, and I married him when I was 18. I had my daughter when I was 16, he "loved her". He was good to me until our wedding night. My daughter was taken care of by his family. He went to get me a wedding present and it was cocain. I was told that it was in my best interest to do it with him. I did not catch on, I really thought he was joking. The drugs never stopped, I became a coke attict. I was not allowed to talk to my mom, or any family. My daughter did not live with me because I did not want her abused. I was beaten almost everyday for 10 months, rarely saw my daughter, came very close to overdosing, tried souicide. I came out with several scars and he broke one of my ribs from kicking me. He bruised my eye ball from punching me. I passed out once from him choking me. Do not feel soprry for me, I don't, it made me strong enough to drop my addiction, and I did get me daughter back. The night I left he told me he would get me. I kept looking over my shoulder. He molested my daughter for over one year before she told me. He is now serving his sentence in Huntsville Texas.

My daughter is a wonderful 12 year old girl, and she talks to girls all the time about the responsibility to tell. We are both very strong and do not live like victims.

Answer 2

Yes I was in an abusive marriage years ago and I did get out, but before I did, I had a nervous breakdown. I got married at 16, which was a major mistake because first of all, I was way too young. Nobody could tell me that then though. Anyway, my husband was 18 and I can look back now and see that there were signs before I married him of impending abuse. I'm talking about verbal and physical abuse of every possibility.
The first few weeks were pretty much ok but gradually the abuse got worse and more and more often. I think he must have had a split personality because he could be so sweet one minute and in a split second, change right before my eyes into the most hurtful human being on this planet. I never knew when or what was coming. He would call me the most awful names, hit me anywhere he wanted to, slam me into a wall, choke me until I passed out, rape me, yes rape me. There used to not be a law against a husband raping his wife like there is now. He did things to me sexually that I can not write here. Let's just suffice to say that just about every thing you can imagine and not imagine that could be done , it was done to me. I went through years of therapy afterwards and am still going through it. The nightmares will always be there, just not as often now, thank God.
I almost started a book myself years ago for therapy reasons and to let other women know that they are not alone. I pray for all of those who are going through abuse and that they will find a way out.

Answer 3

I was not sure if I could even write here after all these stories, involving physical abuse. I think thought that emotional abuse is subtle, but it messed with your head so bad that you start to forget who you are. My husband is a great man: he does not drink, does not smoke, works hard, takes care of me, buys me flowers. Sure, people might say, that it's me who is crazy... yet, somehow I started to notice that I feel confused, lonely and depressed with him around. It is what is described as passive-aggressive behaviour. Interesting stuff, I've been reading about it and finally it all made sense to me. Imagine, when every time you communicate with your partner - you get no straight answers, you are sent on a guilt trip, then criticised and being told what friends you should have, what TV programmes you should watch, etc. Before we got married, we talked and wanted to have kids in the future. 6 years later I discover, that my husband sabotaged my attempts to have a baby as, apparently, he did not think our relationship was good enough for babies... Slowly-slowly my identify started to erode. Do I think that he does it on purpose? Nope. But I know that I need to work on my self-esteem now and not let him hurt me any more.

Answer 4

I got out when I realize that my bruises could be more the next time. I left without any money or place to live,except with my grown children. I stayed with them for about 2 months until I was able to save for me a place of my own. I knew that if I stayed I probably would not live to see my next birthday. I had to much to live for, so one day I packed what I could and left and later had my son take me back and get the rest of of my clothing. Now, I am doing well. The bruises have healed,but the names I was called is still with me today. It took me months to get my self confidence back and never will I allow someone to take that away from me again.

Answer 5

Reprinted from Ann Landers......Author Unknown

I got flowers today, it wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said
Because he sent me flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today, and it wasn't Mother's day or any other special
day.
Last night he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers today.

Answer 6

I think everyone here is awsome for writting their story to help other woman :) Glad you all got out. You all deserve to be loved and love isn't suppose to hurt in anyway, shape or form. God Bless all of you.

Answer 7

Left.