I have been married for 30 years. the last ten have been a struggle. I rarely get sex or even touched. I am thinking about looking around for someone else and thought about changing my whole life. I am not depressed, just frustrated and tired of begging. I haven't ask or begged for sex for 2 months now and decided i just don't care anymore. We have nothing else in common. I would like to be with someone who wants to do things with me. I am not fat either. I have been working out at a gym recently and feeling better and more confident about myself, no thanks to him. I am just very lonely.
2007-06-13 15:47:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You poor thing the more I answer question on yahoo answer, the more I've come to find out that after marriage there is no sex life. Why is that? I dont think you should cheat just be honest with him and tell him how you feel
2007-06-13 15:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by Telly-Of-War 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Similar to many of the marriage questions....
People can be come complacent in a relationship
(Bored, Tired and Quit putting forth an effort.)
And I promise it doesn't *always* mean they are cheating when they aren't showing you affection.
30 years is a long time, so it would be worth the effort to try to sit down and communicate your feelings and see if there are outside reasons like Medical etc.
Then if not (I would tell him, Simply you need more from your marriage and its a partnership, you both have to work at it.)
Other ideas that may help...
Look into Counseling (For both of you.)
Kill him with kindness (Cook his favorite food, Plan a fun night out with something you both used to enjoy etc.)
And I hate to say it but you can always resort to pleasuring yourself in front of him, it generally does get attention.
If all else fails, make sure you think about how many years you have vested, what exactly would be better or worse if you actually separated. Don't make any rash decisions that you may regret later.
Best wishes!!
2007-06-13 23:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by Broken but not Beat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how your feeling, but before you cheat and make it worse decide if you it would be better to file for a divorce. Cheating will only make you feel worse in the end. Let him know if things don't change you will be leaving, this way it does give him a chance just in case there is a medical problem. He may want you but for some medical reason feels he can't please you. Men are stubborn like this, so before throwing away 30 years let him know how you feel without begging, but in an assertive way that allows him to see you are serious,
2007-06-13 23:19:00 · answer #3 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did. Talk to him, try to find out if something is wrong, if something is bothering him, why he doesn't seem to be attracted to you anymore. If his sex drive is fine (you can tell from the porn on his computer) then tell him if he won't do it for you, someone else will. Of course, he's a man, and like any man who has been with the same woman for a long time, he won't believe you. Go out, do it and find yourself a man that cares enough about you to want to make passiontate in the floor love to you. No one deserves to have their physical needs neglected. How would he feel in your place ten, twenty, even thirty years ago? Would you still be married if you didn't sleep with him for 2 months during the first year of your marriage? Men and women hit their sexual primes at different ages. You might even go for a younger model.
2007-06-13 22:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by daeraelle 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
WHY are you still with him? What are YOU getting out of the relationship? I've got nothing on you, but I was married for almost 10 years, married for 8. I just couldn't do it anymore, I was miserable. We grew into two different people, it happens.
2007-06-13 22:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk it over with your husband...30 years is a wonderful thing to just throw away by having an affair...if the talk don't work..then maybe it's time to move on in your life..just don't have an affair because your lonely..you'll just hurt yourself and also your husband.
2007-06-13 22:54:32 · answer #6 · answered by blue moon lady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well talk to him about it. see if he realizes how much pain he is causing.
buy some sex toys.
and start hanging out with girlfriends.
you dont have to stop living because he has.
2007-06-13 22:54:23 · answer #7 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Walk out on him and let him feel and see how much he would miss and want you.
2007-06-13 23:19:56 · answer #8 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get counseling, save your marriage.
2007-06-13 22:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by dionhotmail 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋