I'm 17 and last week a friend of mine who is a (geeky) boy asked me out. We've been friends since the 6th grade but he wasn't my type. When he asked me I told him no and that if he wanted to get any girlfriend he is going to need to lose 40 pounds, work out, and play sports. That night he slit his wrists and died and I'm worried that it's my fault. The funeral is tommorow but I have a modeling thing that I need to go to and I feel guilty about what I did so I think I'm going to the modeling thing but I don't know. Should I go?
2007-06-13 15:38:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Either you are lying or you are a horrible person. I hope it is the first one.
It is not that you told him you didn't want to go out with him. You have a right not to date geeky guys. It's the way you said it. And then the way you stated it in this question. So uncaring.... so cold. I guess it's not really your fault that he killed himself. He probably would have done it eventually. But you sure didn't help. And you might have been the reason why he choose that night instead of living another day to change his mind.
Yes you should go to the funeral. But I still hope you are lying. It would at least mean you aren't a cold horrible b*tch.
2007-06-13 15:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by ambergail1 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Who knows that it was really u that caused the problem...
Maybe something went up along the way which aggravated his situation...
You know, on the first place, it was HIS idea of suiciding, not yours...
You didn't convince him or suggested that thing to him...
You just defended your own right...that you really are not dating him.
It's every girl's right to choose their mate...
Now, let's check out the reason behind the suicide...
People in suicidal/borderline personalities do these things as a way of catching others' attention out of pity, or the feeling of being cornered.
If you get caught, they would even think that their plan would get effective so they at times make it as a threat for you to follow what they want...
Suicide is a way of escaping problems...very unrealistic.
Without knowledge that was his plan, i think you're innocent bout it.
Are you aware that he's really suicidal?
So what have just occured, he's like haunting you thru your conscience...
I understand you're sorry too.
Unless that guy left a suicidal note and written there was your name and you're the reason for the act...
Oh well, a lot of ppol might not forget you or watever on their mind...
You may extend your condolence by letter...or phone call...
Your presence on the funeral is a great contribution but life goes on...
or you may visit him after the funeral so you could talk to him.
It's really up to u whether you can concentrate on your job or not...
If not, if you think attending the funeral will comfort you, then go.
Just remember, you're not his murderer...
He was responsible for his own action...
As well as we ourselves are responsible for our own ***...
2007-06-13 15:58:30 · answer #2 · answered by KenCatz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the modeling thing. You're too shallow to respect what the funeral is about. It's not your fault he was a coward and killed himself. It's fine. Go on with your life. Next time a guy asks you out and you don't want to go, just say "no" and then quit talking.
2007-06-13 15:42:34 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a whole lot of guilt you are going to probably work through. Remember the funeral is about closure. If you were truly his friend you should go. Not just for you but for his family to show support. Then you need to realize that what you said to him, although very harsh, was not the cause of his suicide. It was his action, and it was weakness that caused him to take the easy way out and punish those who did care about him. Very sad, sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.
2007-06-13 15:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by BRAD H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the theory that I had for my very own (i'm a maximum cancers survivor who has relatively planned my very own funeral out in strengthen--fortuitously those plans do no longer seem to be necessary precise now) grew to become into to make it a celebration of my existence. a similar pastor who oversaw my wedding ceremony is a uncommon guy: as long as admire is shown for the non secular, he has no issue seeing to the desires of disbelievers. mutually as each and each guy or woman in attendance at my wedding ceremony knows i'm an Atheist, I nonetheless needed the pastor to steer a prayer for something of my kinfolk--the great majority of which carry a Christian denomination. He did it ok: "The bride and groom have asked a 2nd of prayer for people who might prefer to take section..." and the 2nd went on. I spoke with him approximately overseeing my funeral, and having a similar sort of attention. He agreed, and had numerous innovations for making that take place. this manner any prayers stated for me have been by utilizing the determination of those offering the prayer. The funeral itself might greater healthful me for who i grew to become into, yet enable the survivors to be who they're and take care of issues of their very own way.
2016-10-09 04:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by sucharzewski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go b/c you feel guilty. Go b/c he was your friend . . . wasn't he?
The sad part is the fact that you had to post that on here. It shouldn't even be a question. You need to take a good look inside yourself and ask if that's WHO you want to be. Your post sounds really shallow and superficial. I know you're young, but we've all been there. It's NEVER to late to be a friend.
2007-06-13 15:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the funeral. You were his friend, and the least he deserves is to have you at his funeral. His death was in no way your fault. He clearly had issues beforehand, and your (very rude) refusal to go out with him was just a final straw.
Ditch the modeling thing and go. You need to mourn him.
2007-06-13 15:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by SarahC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
were you friends if so go. As for telling him what you told him shame on you. You should have just declined and not hurt the poor guy. It could be that what you told him sent him over the edge. just cause you think you look good on the outside don't mean you are beautiful. its the inner soul that makes a person truly beautiful. what gives you the right to judge someone elses appearance anyhow. i hope your not as cold hearted b*t*ch as you sound,
2007-06-13 15:46:43 · answer #8 · answered by little D. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What i would like to tel you is, pls go for the funeral. Why is because, that guy is no more for you see him any time or any day on earth. BE THERE, and give your last respect to him.. Please. Even if you are going to the modelling dear, you won't be doing good cause, you won't be able to concentrate.
2007-06-13 15:48:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've already answered your own question. You could also do some growing up and be less shallow. "It's what's inside that counts." Take some time to understand what this really means. It's a sad thing if this is how you treat your "friends".
2007-06-13 16:14:03 · answer #10 · answered by mrs.bowens711 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋