I am beginning to think that with time, love just disappears and your stuck in a marriage with somebody who you can't stand to be around anymore. I don't think love lasts forever. Do you?
2007-06-13 14:56:15 · 27 answers · asked by coloradogirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well Coloradogirl, the truth of the matter is that love doesn't really go away. People just become content and comfortable and stop putting forth the effort required to keep the relationship strong. If you light a fire in your fireplace the fire will eventually die out if you stop putting wood into it (or feeding it). The same goes for a marriage. If you don't restoke the fire or feed it the love will go a way. However, just a fire place, if you want that fire to return all you have to do is throw in another log . I find marriage to be a very special and sacred union. It is important that people not mistake lack of effort for lack of love. The flame of love can last forever but only if we choose to rekindle it. Peace and God bless.
2007-06-13 15:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by cave man 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Love doesn't necessarily go away. It just changes with time as you change through your life experiences. It was explained to me that the sparkle wears off after awhile. You get into a groove running around living life and you don't stop and do the special things for each other that you did when you were dating. Sometimes things that seemed cute a few years ago do get on your nerves. And there are things that come to light after you are married and waking up beside each other with no makeup or hair gel and bizarre noises come from the bathroom. Tact and grace goe out the window. You have the same person, just the wrapping paper, ribbon, and bows are gone. It takes time and effort to polish things up. We have to make time for each other. Date your spouse on a regular basis. Give notes, letters, flowers, backrubs, etc. I'm not saying it will be happy all the time even if you do those things, but the rough patches are shorter and more tolerable if you do.
I've been married 18 years and we've had some forced separations due to my husband being in the Army. He has some personal issues that I'd like to choke him about his hobbies and money management. At the start of his times away, sometimes I've been ready to kick him all the way to the plane he'd been on my nerves so bad. But by the time he came back, absence had made the heart grow fonder, or at least tamed the savage beast.
Most rough patches are ridable if you hang in there. A lot of divorces don't have to happen and a lot of people end up in worse relationships than the one they left. You always compare the current one to the last one.
2007-06-13 22:10:45 · answer #2 · answered by ritzysmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's NOT true at all. If that's the way you think, then you have A LOT to learn & I suggest you learn every thing you need to know about love before you even consider marriage. You also have no right to judge if your NOT even married. Your heart is affected by how you think, which is negatively. And that's sad. You will only get what you believe in.
I have been married for a good while now & my husband and i love each other deeply & will continue to do that for the rest of our happy lives. My grandparents have been married for 55 years & are still very much in love with each other, they do every thing together. On top of that, my parents have been married for 37 years, they are happy together, do every thing together & are still very much in love.
I HAVE HOPE, and if you don't, then you are married to the wrong person. Just because it's not working out for you, it does NOT mean it won't work out for every one else. From what your questions says, I can truly see how "Misery loves company" on your end. Sorry dear.....we are NOT going to join you.
2007-06-13 22:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has lasted here after 19 years together. There have been times when he's driven me totally nuts. The things is, it takes two. Sometimes our own attitude is a huge contributor to a dismal situation. Instead of relying on him for change, change yourself. See him as a mirror of yourself. What you don't like in him is probably something you don't like about yourself. Work on changing these things and you might view him in a different light. If it's really that bad, its possible you've made a mistake. If that's the case, rethink your life and get to a place where you can be happy every day. Good luck :)
2007-06-13 22:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True Love matures and grows stronger with time. My grandparents both in their 70's still enjoy each others company. I have been a witness to the fits of jealousy and the tushy patting. I know too much info, but I find marriage goes through different phases. Couples without children get to enjoy more alone time than child filled homes. That is a phase you go through. If you are lucky enough to find someone to share your secrets with, enjoy a stroll on the beach, hold your hand through labor, and help you with dinner, count your blessings. True love isn't always the whirlwind romance it is when you are dating, but it is a constant and steady love that grows deeper with time. I have been married to my true love for three and a half yrs. and find that I look forward to what my grandparents have.
2007-06-13 22:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by blue_dragon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. I was married to a wonderful man for 16 years, he was the best husband, father, a good guy. I loved him more every day. We had rough spots in our marriage, but we always worked things out because we did love each other. You have to love each other when you marry, and have a deep committment to each other and you will want to work problems out. He died in 1998 after 16 years of marriage, I did not feel like I could move on until after 2 years---I didnt date until after that. I found out just how much I loved him.
2007-06-13 22:13:18 · answer #6 · answered by skyward 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That why I think you should be best friends too. Love doesn't disappear, it just changes form. love is peaks and valleys. Sometimes I really am not attracted to my husband or just wish he would go away and then I watch him playing the guitar and singing to the kids and my heart melts. Change is normal in all life forms. The passion may not be ripping your clothes off 3 times a day, but it can be there. If your passion has faded chances are it wasn't really love.
2007-06-13 22:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by TBECK 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe a lot of people don't work at marriage and there for they lose the love. My inlaws have been married nearly 40 years now and are more inlove now then they were years ago..they hold hands in the car all the time they are kissy in public and smile at each other all the time...now they have their fights but nothing major. So I think yes love can and does last forever if you work at it.
2007-06-13 22:02:10 · answer #8 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I have been married for 7 months tomorrow. So my opinion doesn't count yet. However, my parents have been married for 32 years. They still love each other. And they are best friends. They do things together because they choose to. So I think 32 years is pretty close to forever in my book and they are still very much in love. I have hope.
2007-06-13 22:17:15 · answer #9 · answered by ambergail1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love only fades if you let it.
Love is like a delicate flower that needs water and nurturing every day.
Love continues for those who put it first in their lives.
Love is 24/7/365
If you want a break it's not love.
If you think love goes away, your example of "love" is a sad poor excuse for what love really is. the glue that holds two in love committed partners together forever
2007-06-13 23:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋