Does counseling really work for certain people?????

Question

I don't think that it would for my husband.! Aren't psychiatrists to eager to hand out pills and send you home, then you have an added problem of addiction???? My husband was never shown what love is supposed to be like when he was growing up. His parent's were to busy showering each other with gifts and vacations and taking pictures of each other. Now, my husband is controlling, emotionally distant, and he certainly doesn't buy me things or take me on vacations. I never knew all of this until a few years ago and weve been married for 16yrs. Do you think that a psychiatrist would be able to help him? Or should we try harder to show him what its all about? I asked a question about him this morning that might help you answer this one. Thanks for all your help!! We need it!!!

Answer 1

Counseling should come from a variety of perspectives and personalities. Priest, therapist, trusted friend, and so on. If he's going through problems that you don't know about, perhaps a midlife crisis, gambling problem, or overwork, whatever they may be, it would explain the drain he feels and the lack of closeness. Counseling can help people get through those obstacles and distractions.

As for love, it doesn't have to be taught. When you fall for someone, love comes naturally. The nagging question in the back of your mind is whether it's love or infatuation. Infatuation doesn't last.

You should ask yourself some tough questions such as: were you the love of his life when he married you, is he still attracted to you? If the answer is no, then it becomes a serious issue which counseling may not be able to fix.

Also ask yourself: does he consider me to be a burden as opposed to an equal partner, has he found someone else but feel trapped, does he feel threatened by other guys around me? The answers to these questions help you figure out how to deal with the current crisis in your relationship.

Whatever happens, I hope things work out for the best.

Answer 2

Just before my husband and I got married we were having some hard times and decided to go to counseling before we were married. I feared the worse out of the both of us...but to be completly honest...it was the best decision we ever made and I exited our counseling falling in love with him all over again. When we suffer hardships now, we do not talk about divorce as our first option but suggest that if we are having an issue that is just too much on the both of us, that we should go talk to someone about it who could help. Family is a precious thing and should be preserved as much as possible. Christian counselors are really great and if you are not religious there are other good ones out there not eager to prescribe pills right away. Take Care

Answer 3

Well, first of all shrinks aren't the only one who can provide marriage counseling. It actually may be more beneficial for you and your husband to seek spiritual marriage counseling from a Pastor or clergy member. Psychiatrists only attempt to fix individual problems of a marriage where spiritual counselors attempt to fix not only the individual problem but the spirit of the individuals and the marriage. God can fix anything. Even your husband. If you want your marriage saved and you are willing to work for it and claim it in Jesus name then it will be saved. Marriage is like anything else. The amount of work and effort a couple put into it is what they will get out. I will keep you in my prayers. Peace and God bless.

Answer 4

Find a counselor that is certified in marriage/couple counseling. You might have to try more than one. Unless there is some underlying condition, such as depression, there is really no reason to have an MD giving him out medications.

Now, I think you BOTH need to participate in counseling. Joint and individual sessions. Sounds like you both have learned to feel loved in different ways. What makes YOU feel loved is not what he has known, but he can learn to recognize what you need. Now, that goes both ways. He may not need gifts or such to feel loved, as he just never knew it that way, but he may need something very different from you. So, to "fix" him, you need to work together, to find what each of you really needs.

We tend to do for others what makes US happy. We expect our spouse to just know what we want/need.

You can try to start understanding some of this by checking out some books about marriage, emotional needs such as listed below.

If he is resistant to counseling, then think about a marriage weekend program as a start. You might have to insist!

Two programs that I have had others tell me they found helpful:

http://www.retrouvaille.org/

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi9000_courses.html

Good luck finding something that works for you.

Answer 5

You don't have to go to a psychiatrist for counseling, you can go to a psychologist. They cannot even give medications, as they aren't doctors. They have education in counseling & mental health disorders, not actually medicine. I personally find psychiatrists to be, well, pill pushers. Medications do not fix everything, of course. Therapy could help your relationship. Look into seeing a psychologist who specializes in families & relationships.

Answer 6

I went solo in the start, then further my husband into the training. Our coverage coated the fee, yet we did have a co-pay at each and each consultation of $30/guy or woman. maximum coverage rules cover basically a undeniable # of training in line with twelve months, or have a optimal complete quantity they can pay in line with twelve months. i did no longer use a marriage counselor, yet a therapist that I had used for some years. She went from being a psychotherapist to a psychologist.

Answer 7

Find a licensed couples counselor. On our 10th anniv neither one of us would have bet a nickle that we would have an 11th. There was no addiction. or infidelity, Things were just bad. Neither of us wanted to end the marriage, but neither wanted it to go on the way it was. We sought our a counselor. He was great. He worked with each of us, then both of us, and helped us learn to resolve our issues. We are coming up on our 41st anniv. It was worth it. We recommend it.

Answer 8

if meds are what your worried about then don't take him to a psychiatrist, a therapist will just sit and let him talk about whats going on in his life , before in the past and now.

Answer 9

Yes.
You've had 16 years of marriage to show him what love was. Plus, hopefully you dated for a time - what attracted him to you so you wanted to marry him?

Answer 10

counseling should be theraputic, it should help someone who is asking for help find the answers to what he is seeking...such issues should not require any type of drugs...that for depression issues...his are character oriented and can be dealt with by discussing his lack of emotional expression.