ok so im married recently, i know i love my husband he makes me laugh and he really knows how to make me feel special but.. he has a serious injury hes taking serious pain meds he cant work adn im paying all the bills. im only 25 and im begining to wonder why i got married. i met this guy and hes soo nice to me and i know everyone will think he just is using me but i told him my situation and he said whatever happens he will be there for me. we sleot together and i feel horrible about it. i don t know what i should do should i tell my husband? should i try and make this marriage work. i know al ot of you will say i made a commitment i should stick wiht but life is too short right but i dont know if this other guy is worth it, what should i do?
2007-06-13 13:20:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you really think this isn't the right relationship for you, cut your losses and end the marriage. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Don't worry about what other people think you should or should not do. Ask yourself what you want and act accordingly...
2007-06-13 13:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you you mean, you don't know if they other guy is worth it? Clearly, from your own description, you are not worth it.
So you say, if a man has a serious injury, then the love and commitment is just over?
Every relationship for you is going to be based on what a man can give you.
Do everyone a favor and don't get into a committed relationship again. People that act like you are much better being single. Then you can have a whole bunch of relationships...take from them exactly what you want and then you can move on and take some stuff from the next guy.
Every man will let you take from them for a least a short while. Or until they get sick and then need something from you, but if you are single...then you can just leave. There a lots of opportunities for you out there.
You may even want to "work" two men at once, then you can get twice as much! bonus! If one gets sick or injured, at least you'll have one, while you look for the next one.
Of course, when you get older, this will get more difficult, so maybe put aside some money while your doing this, so when you get older you can support yourself and all your cats.
2007-06-13 14:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wedding vows are a wonderful thing, they sound nice, make everyone feel nice and warm and safe and from there, they are a waste of time. You married your husband out of what you thought was love. Hindsight may tell you it was now out of pity, or some other reason, and now you have strayed into someone elses arms. First question? Why did he take you into his arms. Were you totally honest with him about your husband and the relationship? Or was he totally honest with you? Perhaps he has dark secrets too. Next ask yourself what sort of person are you and what sort of person do you want to be? IF you think it is alright to lie, be manipulative and decietful then continue the path you are on. You only have yourself to answer too. However if this really isn't you, end your relationship now. And there is no need in being the hero and telling your husband about it. I don't think that will make him think Gee, what a swell honest wife I have. Just keep that to yourself. That will only inflict more pain on him and sent your already crippled marriage in a downward spiral. If you don't love your husband anymore, then get a divorce. Set him free and allow yourself the honor and dignity to find someone who you are compatable with, in a honourable way without lies, deceipt and hiding in dark corners. And at the end of it, Im not being judgemental of you, been there done that. Its jsut the way life is kid
2007-06-13 13:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by Deejay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said, " know al ot of you will say i made a commitment i should stick wiht but life is too short right but i dont know if this other guy is worth it, what should i do?"
I say, You and this new man deserve each other. If they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you. I would never say for you to stick it out, because you are a piece of $hit. Your husband should be the one to kick your a$$ to the curb. I have a serious illness and if my man can't stand by me... then his @$$ needs to go. You should be ashamed of yourself. When you make a commitment such as marriage... if you can't keep your legs closed to another man, then you need to get the hell out of the marriage.
2007-06-13 13:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by mommy4two05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this, how would you expect your husband to behave if it were you who had this serious injury which prevented you from going to work.
I am sure that you wouldn't expect him to moan and groan about supporting you financially until you got on your feet. I am also sure you wouldn't be pleased if he slept around on you during this period.
If you love your husband then of course you should stick with him for the 'better and the worst' if you don't then you should leave because he is not right for you rather than for this other man.
You say you have only recently married it occurs to me that you are going through the 'worst' of it first. It will get better. Life is full of ups and downs, sharing your life with someone who makes you laugh and feel special is worth all of your efforts. Hope he is better soon. Dump the other guy!!
2007-06-13 13:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your husband? With ALL of your heart, or just a little piece? Does your husband's injury affect the way you feel about him? If you love your husband at all, you won't let his injury influence what you do. And you will tell him what you did and try to explain why it happened and if you want your marriage to work, you will tell him how sorry you are. And hope that he doesn't want a divorce. If you don't love your husband, and you want to give the other guy a chance, file for divorce and go out with him. For better or worse, sickness and health.
2007-06-13 13:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by tabi_jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did make a commitment-yes...and hopefully it works now, after all is said and done...you should have thought about WHO and WHY you were marring, when u were marring them..now ure in this situation and you have to tell your husband..this is serious stuff....matter of fact--before u slept with this other guy (you prob. sensed some problems with ur hubby-right?) you should have talked to him THEN....divorce isn't the answer, and this other guy- he cant be trusted as far as u can throw him...for another man to intrude,pursue and ruin someone elses relationship doesn't make him anything but a BOY..not a MAN..i HOPE you weren't really thinking of leaving ur husband 4 him!? you're right tho, ur young and you being a woman NEED 2 feel security, both financial and emotional- but that's something u and ur husband HAVE to work out...there are always options and ways to get around obstacles....so think on how to work things out with ur hubby...re-evaluate your relationship 4 what its worth...why did you really cheat??? be honest with ur self...are u really happy with him, can u live with out him, are there other issues there? are other people making u think badly about ur husband? is this new guy friend just using u for an ego/manly boost? be true to your self, dig deep 4 the answers.....you deserve to be happy, yes....but now that u arent, dont drag other people into your misery...
think hard.....
2007-06-13 13:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by gizzy432 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First....do not tell your husband! The only reason you are tempted to tell him is because you feel terrible about what you did and you think it will relieve you, well too bad it`s your mistake and you deal with it, your husband will be devastated to learned you cheated on him while he`s sick, it`s like a husband cheating on his wife while she is pregnant!
Second....you never leave a man for another man, those relationship never last.
Third....for some reasons you wanted this other guy, you got him out of your system, now go back home and be the loving wife you`re suppose to be! One day you may well be the one with a broken back and in need of a loving husband.
2007-06-13 13:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! What a person you are! YOU do NOT love your husband if you cheated. Get that straight. You resent him. You are basically a person who loved the spotlight of marriage, and did not take it seriously.
YOU will have to leave your hubby, because you are an infidel who resents him. You are not in love with him despite what you said, so do not act like you are. You want someone who is working. You should have asked a lot of people about that before you tied the knot.
By the way, what does it say about the man who you slept with, someone who would help break up your marriage? Don't you understand that if you divorce, he'll probably run away fast? It's aways for him to have sex with someone who is legally bound to another. He contributed to this mess, and you say you love him. Ha!
YOU need therapy.
2007-06-13 13:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
placed it into perspective, he treats you like **** a great number of the time and you have no longer had intercourse in 2 and a a million/2 years? it extremely is weird and wonderful. each lady merits to be dealt with with admire, pass on. you're saying you have been in a relationship for 2 and a a million/2 years. Do you relatively need to keep in mind what are meant to be the main suitable years of your existence as wasted with some guy who treats you badly.
2016-10-09 03:57:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋