I've know since forever that I was Bi-sexual. However I got pregnant and got married and have been with my husband for 3 years now. I just went to LGBT day at 6 flags with a bunch of my old gay friends. It really made me realize that I am very dissatisfied with my marriage. That I think I am a lesbian and would rather be in a relationship with a female. The hard part is that I do love my husband, and I love his family. But they are all kind of homophobic, and I don't want to leave him because it seems like it'd be wrong. I really love him, but there is so much missing from our relationship. I don't want my son to grow up being judged because of me. I don't want to be looked down on for leavig my husband because Im gay. Im not even sure I want to leave my husband. I just miss the closeness I felt when with my ex(girlfriend), that feeling can never be matched, I have yet to experience it with anyone. I miss women. yet i love my husband, I don't know what I should do, if i do anything.
2007-06-13 12:33:44 · 12 answers · asked by cait5156 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
man seriously F*CK all you gay bashing, steroetypical, homophobic, close-minded, ignorant people. I don't care one bit if you find my feelings wrong, for all i care you can kiss my ***. I want seriously advice from LGBT people only. Why the **** do you think you have the right to force your beliefs on me, you are coming on a forum simply to tell me I am wrong, well **** you. Get you head out of you *** and deal with your own issues before worring about mine, and kiss my *** while your at it.
2007-06-13 12:59:13 · update #1
and btw FU CK YOUR GOD
2007-06-13 13:00:47 · update #2
This is a very difficult question to answer. The danger is that the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.
I don't think you should make any rash decisions either. If you love your husband, then you need to think very carefully before you end the marriage. You may find yourself feeling more unfulfilled with a woman and yearning to be back with the man you're with now.
On the other hand, of course, you may not. You might find that you can't be happy with a man.
The problem is that I can't answer this question for you, and nobody on here can either. Is there any neutral person you can talk to to work out your feelings? Even a counselor maybe? Don't misunderstand me: there's nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual, but these people are trained to listen, and you do have a serious issue to resolve. Talking to someone like that may help you think clearly.
I wish you the best, and hope you can all find happiness:)
2007-06-13 13:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by garik 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You love your husband.
You love his family,
You have a son and it looks like you love him, too.
If there is some strong cause to be dissatisfied with this it is not clear what that may be, yet you say you are dissatisfied with the marriage.
On the other hand, you miss an old lover.
Excepting the son, I think you have just described most close relationships and, with the son, you covered most marriages.
We do not know your husband's thoughts, so only yours can be looked at.
Sexual yearnings aside, if you have that much love for all of those who are closest to you, then you almost have the ideal situation for anyone, but it needs improvement.
The very best way to achieve that is through communication. Why not have a long and serious talk with your husband and try to improve the relationship?
Also note that counsellors are available, for all your concerns.
2007-06-13 12:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by Ef Ervescence 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This is a very difficult situation, confusing. First, know that you are not alone, many people have traveled the road your on. Secondly, don't be in a hurry to resolve the questions because the consequences are so great. Third, don't be afraid to get some help and perspective from a professional - in the SF bay area www.gaylesta.com can give you a referal, or go to a local LBGT organization and ask for a refereal. I strongly suggest you find a LGBT friendly therepist to help you think about your bi-sexuality and what it means to your relationship. Lastly, it will be just as important to include your husband in the conversation. As I said, you are not alone - not the only one ...you'll find your way, but be patient and use a healthy process.
2007-06-13 13:17:55 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You're in quite a dilemma. You really have to look deep into yourself. Do some soul-searching. DO NOT leave your husband unless you are ABSOLUTELY SURE that ALL of the following apply to you:
-You are a lesbian.
-You do not love your husband.
-You want out of your relationship because it doesn't feel comfortable and right to you.
That said, if the above do not apply to you, PLEASE try to wait the situation out. Your feelings are confusing, I understand. See a therapist. Get counseling. Find a friend who will understand you and talk to them.
If you miss the closeness that you felt with your ex-girlfriend, then you need to think whether you miss just the closeness, or your feelings have to do with the fact that you miss her femininity and wish your husband was female.
Your sexual orientation cannot be helped. It is part of you and who you are. You are not alone. If you really are lesbian and stuck in a heterosexual marriage, then remember that although your situation is tough, you are not alone. Many people do not realize their sexual orientation, for one reason or another, until they are married.
It will be hard on your family if you decide to come out, but remember: it is hurtful to everyone in the situation if you hide your sexual identity as a lesbian. You are not being true to yourself, your husband, your son, and your husband's or your extended families. Granted, when you tell them, they will not take it well. It will be painful for everyone. In the long run, however, if you separate from your husband as a lesbian, it will be the best for all of you.
Good luck with whatever you decide. Remember to think decisions through before you make them. If you want someone to talk to, you can contact me further through my profile.
2007-06-13 13:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by Bandou 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It seems to me that you have other problems, than just thinking you are a lesbian, the main issue is that you dont want any answers unless they are telling you to "Go For It"! you come on here asking for advice, people give it the best they know how, you have NO RIGHT to be angry if you get advice you dont want or agree with.
And how hypocritical of you to bash their God, and tell them how wrong they are when you are angry at them for telling YOU the same thing about your choice of life style!
You want advice, but only if it is telling you what you want to hear! How typical! You actually should be ashamed of yourself, not for being gay but for being as close minded as those whom you are accusing of the same behavior.
2007-06-15 02:46:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stay with your husband. You will regret leaving him and your family because you wanna munch on the carpet(no offense) its just...yeah girls can seem better because they understand you but do you not understand that our bodies were made like puzzle pieces?? Come on sweety. Everyone has their struggles, you need to realize that you ARE able to push these cravings aside. Just because i was born an angry person with a horrible temper and love for blood doesn't mean its okay for me to go around and kill everyone. I know thats a lot different but if you think about it....its really not. You will probably be offended by all of what i said but i think you should stay with your husband. Find a girl to be a best friend who you can talk to and have THAT kind of relationship...its just as good and save the lovin for the husband.
2007-06-13 12:40:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
hey im kinda in the same situation, i love my husband and my daughter and everyone but one personin his family is homophobic. i love women, though i haven't had a sexual experience with a female since i was 13 and i am now 22. i have kissed females since but nothing past that. i am dying to make love to a woman. my husband knows how i feel about women but i would feel wrong to act upon it. just talk with your husband tell him how you're feeling and hope he reacts calmly, wish you the best
2007-06-13 15:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by paxilonviagra 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
live your life
don't worry about what other people think
if your not happy in your relationship no reason for you and your husband to be miserable
don't let someone elses happiness come before your own
your son will be fine promise
only thing your obligated to do is be an amazing mother to your kid
2007-06-13 13:11:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are obligated to stay in this marriage. You knew you had bi-sexual urges and yet you chose to be faithful to one man "till death do you part" when you said your vows.
By staying with the man you love you will be setting a good example for your son. He will have grown up seeing a stable and committed married relationship between a man and a woman. That's the greatest gift you can give your son.
I'm not saying it will be easy. But the right thing seldom is.
To make it easier to have a successful marriage, I would strongly suggest doing whatever you can to fight your bi/lesbian leanings because they will only undermine your relationship with your husband.
You can conquer this with fervent prayer, staying away from the company of lesbians and gays, and concentrating all your love and energy on your husband and son.
God bless you. I will pray for you.
2007-06-13 12:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by Veritas 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Maybe ask your husband if he would try a threesome with another women, that way he may start to enjoy the thought of lesbians, and it gives you a chance to see if you really want to make that change. (Persuing a lesbian relationship) And if you do dont feel guilty about it, you have to make yourself happy, because if you stay in a relationship your not happy in you will make your husband and children unhappy because they will sense it!
GOODLUCK!
2007-06-13 12:43:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋