finding myself?

Question

its been a couple months since my boyfriend broke up with me. I just can't find it to do my h/w in school or have fun. I just feel that if we can't be together I don't need to have fun at all. what am I doing wrong. need some advice on getting myself back to normal and getting away from personal problems on my ex. please help

Answer 1

stay away from people who always bring him up , and stay upbeat and move on

Answer 2

If you sit around and think of him all the time it's gonna take longer to heal and move on. Find things to do to keep your mind off this guy. Id say the biggest problem is your attitude toward yourself after the breakup.
I just feel that if we can't be together I don't need to have fun at all.
What is this? Your not deserving of fun since your ex broke up with you?!?! Thats what your doing wrong. Change how you spend your time and change that frame of mind and you'll be much happier.

Answer 3

Get out of the house girl! I went through the same thing when I broke up with my ex when I was younger. We dated for 4 years and we were engaged. I broke it off because he became controlling and abusive. I didn't know how to be myself without him around because it seemed like I always had him around. He became my whole existence and that wasn't healthy. Go to a party. Make some friends and if all else fails get laid. It isn't easy and I am not saying compromise yourself but sometimes that is what is takes. You will get over him and you will learn to do things alone and make new friends but you HAVE TO GET OUT of the house and try to have fun. Quit punishing yourself.

Answer 4

Whether you will be happy and enjoy your life is your personal choice and you should never let anyone else decide for you. You should never be dependent upon someone else for your happiness. Sure, it's hurtful when your boyfriend breaks up with you or other bad things happen in your life. You can't control them but you can control how you will react to them. Take the time you need to mourn or get yourself beyond hurt feelings and then go right back to being your happy self. Otherwise, you have given your choice to the other person. The phrase I like to use is "If you can't be happy with yourself then you can't be happy with someone else either". It may sound cliche but love yourself first dear and the rest will follow.

Answer 5

Hey, losing a relationship is not the end of the world. It is actually the beginning of a better life. You lost your boyfriend fine but it still better if he was your husband and then you loose him. What I am saying is, he is not meant for you and I am sure that someone out there has his eyes on you but you never have been looking around when you were focused on your boyfriend. That someone is a lot better than your boyfriend and will surely deliver more than what you ones had. GOOD LUCK....You want somebody to talk to? give me a shout. I can help you get over with ones you talk to me regularly.

Answer 6

You need a hobby and some friends to hang out with. You're pouring all your time and energy into grieving and that's not healthy. Don't be a wimp about it - just make a plan that Today I'm going out with ___ to the movies and then stick to it! Before you know it, socializing and having fun will no longer be a distant memory.

Answer 7

Sorry princess the only thing to heal a broken heart is time, and taking some time for yourself is a really good idea.

I have been through more boyfriends than anyone in my family can remember( It was a game for a while, who could name the most of my x's) Once I quit looking for happiness it found me. I found things i enjoy (target shooting, fishing with my Dad, spending more time with my grandma), and when I was busy being myself my husband fell in love with me for my Independence. So for the 20 times I have had my heart broken it was all worth it for the big pay off in the end.

Answer 8

im soo sorry to hear about this. i know the feeling beleive me. sadly about the only thing that i have to tell you is that only time can heal a broken heart. keep your friends and family close. i know its hard to push people away right when you need them the most but try to get out with some friends. have some girls nights with your girl friends rent scary movies and eat alot of icecream. be absoluely crazy. do eachothers make overs. just get out and try to have some fun. eat some ben&jerrys [it helps i just had a pint last night]. just think of yourself without him and try to concentrate on you and your life [school, family, friend, etc.] talk to some other guys without thinking of your ex. all of these things are kinda helping me slowly get along with my life. so good luck and feel better.

Answer 9

It's natural to grieve a loss like this. You have to address the grief indirectly. You can do this by becoming more involved in your community - feeding the homeless, going on walks for breast cancer, helping non profit organizations, etc. You can also join support groups on Yahoo (there are hundreds), find a pen pal, take a class in creative writing, and so on. Almost anything will help if it gets you involved with people.

Answer 10

Hi: I too have been dumped, from my former wife. You know what? It sucks, really sucks. I was about to loose my mind and all I could think was what did I do wrong? As I can tell you are still in school. It will be summer soon. What you want to first do is not blame yourself. You are young and beautiful. It is going to be his lost. Take this time to find yourself. You want to make sure that what happened does not happen again. This summer go hang out with your girlfriends. Leave they guys alone. There is alot of time in your life to mess with them. Just go out and enjoy yourself. Remember, you want to go forward not backward. Understand that boys that age really have no idea what they want. They just want to try to be cool and impress their friends. Believe me, I have been there. This is a big world. There are many other guys then just the guys in you neighborhood. This is just one chapter in your life. There are many more chapters to you life. Just end this chapter and go to the next. Take care.

Answer 11

Here is wat u have to do put the past behind you. There are ALOT of fish in the sea. He is not the only one for you. Go out have fun meet new ppl and you'll forget about him. In order for you to forget about ur ex ur gonna have to meet new guys. Besides things happen for a reason so if it's not ment to be then it's not ment to be. And if it was then fate will bring u bk together. Go ahead enjoy life u only live once life is to short to sit around and wait for one guy.