For the past year my parents have been going through a divorce that won't be official until August 13 of this year. My dad moved out last year and pretty much wiped his hands clean of me and my mother. My brother went to live with him and now he is moving back with me and my mom because my dad is moving into a house with his girlfriend but my brother is not allowed to move in with them but her kids are. Now personally i prepared myself for the divorce and it didnt really bother me, but now my dad is really ******* up by not paying any of the mortgage or any of the other bills in the house which by law he is responsible to pay half. I have not spoken to my father in about 3 months and i also dont plan on speaking to him ever again. I am 22 years old and at this point in my life I have accomplished a lot without him and I feel like I will never need him ever again. Do you think I am right, or am I being petty, I would add more but i only get so many characters to type.
2007-06-13 11:17:36 · 8 answers · asked by dancinphil24 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think your dad deserves the title "dad" any more.
2007-06-13 11:25:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like he's not got his priorities straight. And I don't know how old the girlfriend's kids are, but especially if they're under 18, he probably figures that you're old enough to take care of yourself, and therefore you 'don't need him anymore.' Personally, I just think that's a 'cop out' and it's been my experience that having a relationship with your family is very enriching. But, like I said, it sounds like he doesn't have his priorities straight. He might be just trying to move on with his life, but that doesn't mean abandoning your children. It seems to me that he's just neglecting to acknowledge that he did have a life with your mother and you two boys, and you can divorce wives/husbands, but you can not forget about your kids.
I don't think you're being petty. You can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink, know what I mean? The only thing I would suggest is to not hold a grudge, because that will never benefit you. If you hold on to that animosity, you'll never be able to move on fully with your life. Just wipe the slate clean, and be open to him talking to you, but don't make a special effort until he does. It sounds like you've tried, and if he hasn't reciprocated, that's not your fault. Don't force the issue, and when things don't work out with his new girlfriend, or when her kids neglect her and your father, he'll realize the shoe is on the other foot, and maybe he'll wake up.
Good luck, I know it's hard ...... Best wishes!
2007-06-13 18:31:29 · answer #2 · answered by Impavidsoul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your dad is pretty much down the road Joe. I wouldn't ignore him if he still wants a relationship with you nad your brother; however, he is the adult and it should be his job to keep his sons in his life. I would concentrate on being there for your mother and brother. Also use this as a reminder of how not to act when you grow older. You are a young man and you have the world to conquer. You don't NEED him. You may however accept him on your own terms.
2007-06-13 18:28:09 · answer #3 · answered by Kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Dad is being selfish and heart less.I have heard of a lot men abandoning their own blood children and raising children from the new girlfriend and then after that girlfriend gets everything she can from him ,she will leave him to watch.
But the advice I have for you is to learn from your Dads behavior.
Never be like him !Learn What not to do as a parent .
My mom abandoned all five of us she gave 1 child to some people anotherr child to some othe people and my brother sister and I to my grandmother .I am now mom and I do the exact opposite of what my mom did to us the five years we lived with her.
I never leave my kids .
I never hit my kids.
I never have sex in front my kids like she did to me
and so many other things
I learned how to be a mom by not making any of the same mistakes as she did .DON'T EVER BE LIKE YOUR DAD or have YOUR CHILDREN FEEL HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW.Be there for them always.
2007-06-13 18:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by zOe 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if your dad has failed on the dad part. I would move on with my life and try to lay thoughts of dad behind me. If he ever came calling I would talk to him and be friends with him, he is your dad. But I would leave it at that. Move on and be somebody and do something productive with yourself. Be a better person than your dad. Learn from his mistakes, and don't do the same. Good luck.
2007-06-13 18:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a dad and you definitely did not describe a dad.
Do you need a dad at 22? Not really.
If you were to ask my step-son, he would tell you I am more of a dad to him than his own dad is.
2007-06-14 07:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by Lee P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a d*ck. i guess it depends on the individual and their circumstances. i haven't had these issues so,for me, yes, i need my dad but, in a situation such as yours or one where a father was never present at all, i think you do what is necessary. if you'd never had a dad,you wouldn't miss it but since you have,even if he wasn't the greatest, is it something you think you can deal with? never is a long time you know. maybe let things settle down and see where it goes.
2007-06-13 18:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right. who needs him anyway?
your better off on your own supporting your mom.
2007-06-13 18:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋